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March 20, 2018

Thank you, Lord, for delivering us from our enemies. You are Mighty and Faithful. Please be merciful and give us more grace to carry these crosses--especially courage. Amen.

Well, my precious friends and Heartdwellers. And enemies... It is so painful for me to share this with you... But some of you may come to this point so I will anyway--even if the tears hinder me.

I must tell you that Ezekiel was in a battle today that was beyond anything we have so far have encountered.

As the group of us were praying, he was being choked for 2 hours by a heavy coil of rope wrapped around his neck, that two of us saw in the spirit, and attached to a group of men in the Supreme Court, pending a landmark decision about abortion. These men were also tied up in coils of rope and nooses. They were bound by the lies of demons and the fear that their wrong-doings would be exposed if they didn't vote the way the Deep State wanted them to.

As Ezekiel was choking, the nooses began to loosen and fall to the ground and the men made right decisions. Yet it was not made clear to us whether they would get back into that noose or stand for what was right.

One man was sitting on the fence and the angels were protecting him from the influence of the demons, so he could reason it out for himself. The angels were fighting off lying demons and flashing pictures before the eyes of many of the men, pictures of their babies, their children when they were born. And then an image of an aborted baby. Then their children, and then more aborted babies, cut-up into pieces.

Oh, this was SO difficult!

The three of us were praying together, and I was trying to pray, but felt like a paralyzed rabbit in the middle of the road with the headlights of a speeding car mesmerizing me 'till I couldn't move. I felt so insufficient and helpless...

My prayers had felt like they bounced off the walls, and I couldn't cope with everything that was going on. So, I began a Divine Mercy Chaplet, in between trying to help Ezekiel. Which was totally futile, because he was struggling and flailing around to breathe and couldn't receive anything. Not even a little medicine.

It was terrible.

The Lord allowed this suffering for a work He needed done, and though witches were behind this attack, we prayed for their conversion and for them to be blessed by the Lord with a complete change of heart and repentance. Truly, the Lord loves them and His heart is for us to love and pray for them.

But it wasn't easy.

In any case, I got a real dose of my helplessness today and it brings me to tears to even think about it. So, I came to the Lord in my nakedness and confusion.

"Lord, here I am. Devastated by my weakness and impotence, taking full responsibility for it."

Jesus began, "How can I use you, Clare, unless you are utterly familiar with your weaknesses? Do you think I take pleasure in seeing you suffer this way? I do not. Yet it is necessary to bring you to the point where you truly know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are the least in My house. Moses was a man like that. This is why you have been attracted to him in the past, and there are even more reasons.

"Do you think I will allow you to perish in the battle? Have I not made promises to you both? Yet you allow yourself to court fear--perhaps thinking I will abandon you? No such thing will ever happen. I am yours forever and you are Mine forever--and not for a moment will I desert you.

"Yet I have told you that in this world you will have trouble... But keep your chin up--I have overcome the world and I live in you.

"You are an overcomer. Look at the battles of the past. When did I desert you?"

Lord, You have never deserted me--and there have been some doozy battles.

"Yes, and I have told you that there will be more and they must be harder than the ones preceding them if you are to grow."

Lord, I came to the "end of my end" today. Totally broken inside over his suffering and I really wanted to withdraw from the intense battle--coward that I am. I really didn't think I could handle any more.

Jesus answered, "But you did get through it.

"What is your decision now, Clare? You know that I have told you that if you chose to not keep climbing and suffering, that you would lose nothing I have promised you. And I would still be just as deeply in love and here for you as I am now. It is your choice, after all.

"Yet Ezekiel, too, has a part to play in this--after all he is the presiding victim soul. Yet it does roll over onto you, as well. There is much suffering in seeing a loved one suffering that way."

Lord, if I keep my eyes on You, I can never, ever turn You down. However, when I look at what he is going through I want to say "No more. Please, no more!" At least not like that. How can I answer You now? I am truly road kill.

"I know, My Love, and you have the night and tomorrow to think on these things. But let Me tell you, Clare, I am eternally grateful for the sacrifice you made today; for your admission of helplessness and honesty about confusion and weakness. I see your desire to learn more, and I will honor that. But more than anything, I treasure your abandonment to My will and confidence in Me.

"There is no sin in confessing that you have come to the end of your ability to endure, and that you don't want to suffer that way anymore. There is no sin in that. It would be regrettable, because of all the fruit being born through your patient endurance. But I can always find someone so in love with Me, that they are willing to lose all that is dear to them. You have been this way, and yet we are going deeper and getting to the very quick of your soul here."

I can't fathom saying "no" to You, Jesus. But I can't fathom having to see him suffer like that, either. And I am too tired to make that decision.

"Rest on it, dear Clare. Rest and your heart will advise you. We will talk more of this tomorrow."

Pray for me, guys. I don't want to let the Lord down.

Some of you may not understand this whole concept. And... I've talked about it over and over again. Simon's Cross. And all I can tell you is that it's proved to be true. And for the 25 years we've been in ministry, we've seen it again and again and again. And it's the Real Deal.

And I know it bears fruit. And I'm not interested in getting any reward for any of this. Certainly, if the Lord withdrew His grace for one instant, I'd be running back in to the world as fast as my feet could carry me. But He hasn't. He continues to hold me up, and He continues to give me the love necessary to pray for my enemies. And I feel badly for them. Because they are exerting themselves so much - and they're going to lose. They always lose. And God always wins! And the weaker the vessel, the greater the victory for God. Amen to that!

God bless you, Heartdwellers. Thank you for praying for me and sticking with us, praying for Ezekiel.