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April 2, 2018

Thank you, Jesus, for Your patience and compassion with me. Please make us all stronger in the face of adversity and storms. And make us more clever than the enemies of our souls, who set us up to sin. And grant us the courage and resolve to choose what is right. Always. Amen.

Well, my dear ones, I'm going to go in, right into the message here. And it will explain what's been going on.

I began, 'Lord, I know I've been bad again--please forgive me.'

And that came with a lot of soul-searching and remorse. Sounds kind of flippant now, but believe me. It wasn't flippant when I was going over it in my mind.

Jesus answered me, "Forgiven. Let's begin again."

Well. This may seem too easy to some of you, but Jesus knows the agony my heart went through and how I've missed Him--so in His mercy He was quick to forgive. All I ask for now is the strength not to be stupid again.

So, He asked me to share with you what happened.

Dear friends, I cannot make excuses for myself. I had a springtime slip-up again--something very little for the sunroom, but I knew it was wrong. And I lied to myself and to the Lord saying, "Lord, it has been so hard seeing Ezekiel go into travail prayer; surely You won't mind this little distraction." Then I didn't wait for an answer, but went ahead and got these tiny blue lights to put in the garden. But He has been distant ever since then and I couldn't bear the silence anymore--so I came to Him, repenting.

Oh, do you see, dear souls? There is no excuse for disobedience or self-indulgence. He is stretching us. And while sunny days may not bring temptation, very cloudy stormy days, exhausting days, can. I reasoned to myself, "This has been so rough, I need a consolation." Well, true enough. I needed a consolation, but not one that goes against His wishes. And you know? It doesn't matter if it's only $2.00 or $4.00. If He doesn't want it, it's wrong.

It's one thing to maintain and stay on track every day when everything is manageable--fasting when you're not in a war zone. But then, the Lord wants to test your faithfulness. He allows pressures to build up on all sides, failures... Oh boy. Computer. Hot tub. Oven. Electricity--you name it! Every time I turned around, something was going south...

Failures and glitches all around you, wasted time and so much more. I cannot even begin to tell you how intense it has been here. And He tested me. And I failed. So, now I have another chance and I am so grateful for that--although I do not deserve it.

Dear ones, He is so merciful. He made it very clear at communion, what I needed to think about, though.

The reading was Joshua 24:14-15. "Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Well, I have to tell you...There is nothing like feeling separated from the Lord by my own folly. It is such a deep ache and longing to be back with Him. There's an emptiness. There's something missing. And when He withholds Himself because of something that I did.

I finally had to hold the little blue Christmas lights I bought for the garden in one hand and the Lord in the other and say, "Which one do you want? You can't have both." And I ached again because of my folly.

I saw that I was wanting the gods of the Amorites--or materialism. External, not-from-God consolations. I could argue with Him forever: "Lord, if You didn't want us to have these things, why did You make them so very beautiful?" But what a vain, empty head I would have to do such a thing! We are in a war zone and our affections must be riveted on Jesus' and all that matters to Him. Trafficked children, looming wars, abusive parents, men that find pleasure in killing these children and going to prostitutes. Satanists. His mind is on saving the victims and saving these pitiful people, because they were made in His image and He longs for them to return to Him.

Well, to fill you in, on Good Friday Ezekiel went through the most intense re-enactment of the crucifixion that I've ever experienced. And I, like Mary, was there by his side during the whole ordeal that lasted for over an hour. I have to say it left me in a heap. And I am still recovering emotionally. I've been bankrupt for days and physically exhausted. I am beginning to understand that being present to this offering is MY offering, even as Mary was present during the crucifixion.

I am sure that many of you who have seen a loved one suffer know exactly what I'm saying. And I have to tell you. That suffering is your offering, as well, because the Lord has placed you there. That makes it all the more powerful. When the two are united in unison with one another and Jesus--who still suffers, because of sin in the world. He suffers, because He loves us, and our pain is His pain. He feels the suffering of every aborted baby, the remorse the mother suffers afterwards, the divisions and backbiting and calumny in the Church. He feels all these things, all the time.

In this ordeal, it was not just Jesus on the Cross. The Father, was also united to Him in suffering. He was facing Jesus from the back of the Cross and Holy Spirit, as a man, was also affixed to the Cross, behind the Father.

Some may argue with me and say, "Where does it say THAT in the Bible?" Didn't Jesus say, "I and the Father are one." In some versions, it even says "I and the Father are one and the same." That's John 10:30

And in John 14:9 Jesus said to, "Philip, I have been with you all this time, and still you do not know Me? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'?" 'Cause that's what Phillip had just asked Him. Jesus, show us the Father and it will be enough. And He answered him this way.

And again, for you newcomers, each of us has three parts: a spirit, soul and body. We are fashioned after God. Our spirits are eternal and our very essence; our souls and our minds and emotions; our bodies are the tent we inhabit on this Earth. But we are one whole.

This is the great misunderstanding that the Muslims have about the Trinity. If they understood they would have no objection!

Jesus came to Earth in the image of the Son to demonstrate the true, loving and forgiving nature of the Father. People had known Him as the lightning-and-earthquake, punishing God--but that was only because of their rebellion. His true nature is nothing like that. And He, the Father, sent His Spirit to accompany and comfort us on our journey, once the Lord had returned to Heaven.

So, again I must ask your forgiveness for being so weak. I love you all dearly and feel very badly when I can't share with you what is going on. The way it's been for me lately is, my brain has been like scrambled eggs, with all the things that were going on simultaneously. It's very, very hard to see someone suffer, it really... It just goes right straight to the core and shatters you. And so, I couldn't think straight, to even give you a message. That's why this one has taken so long. But He is beginning to train me to get beyond that. Thank God.

Anyway, in all of this, I am getting stronger. I am learning to get back up and not retreat into a hole until I recover. Not only when I'm foolish and do something to offend Jesus, but also when I feel traumatized by intercession.

There is a purpose for these difficult times, dear ones. The Lord is preparing us to shoulder more responsibility, more gifts, and we have to be tested over and over again before He can entrust us with His choicest graces. We have to bear up under pressure, pass by the schemes and logic of the enemy without buying into it. And most of all: stay out of self-pity. Self-pity is an iron door into the sewer of futility. Don't open that door! And if you do, cry out for help, back out and keep going.

Lord, did you want to add anything?

Jesus began, "Clare, you have understood and spoken My heart very clearly, and self-pity is one way the enemy entices you to sin. 'Poor you! You need comfort, consolation. Surely your loving God will not be offended if you...' do so-and-so. That line of logic is from Satan. And if you are wise, and truly from the heart want to grow into holiness, you will remember that and not buy into it.

"Oh, Clare, we have gone over this subject so many times. You and beauty--and your temptations to beautify your surroundings. And I do understand. I feel so tenderly for you, Clare. Truly, I do understand.

"That is why I have made Heaven so accessible to you. You may go there anytime. You could be sitting in a garbage dump and still be delighted by the fragrances of Heaven, walking with Me. You must learn to live in the invisible realm that is the REAL world. What you have down here is only temporary and will never fully satisfy you."

Plus, it comes with all these hooks and glitches!

He continued, "Did I not take you to the tiny rivulet running from the fourth waterfall and sit with you, enjoying the tiny violets?"

Yes, You did Lord!

"Yes, truly I did. That's why they are there--so you won't set your heart on earthly violets, but enjoy everything about them in your own Garden. Let's go there together more often. This is where I need you to find your rest. It is in this place you find your rest and consolation--in Me. Because I have created this tiny pleasure to embrace you as I wash away the misery of this Earth.

"Please, let's do this together more often. Even every day is not too much. You will stay far more balanced this way.

"When you dwell in My heart, you have found the opening to paradise and Heaven. You need only dwell in My Heart, waiting for Me, loving Me, so that I may open the door for you. Once the door is open, you may return over and over again. Not only that, but you will establish relationships with those you meet in Heaven and they will be forever friends--as there are no dimensions separating you. It is merely a matter of your honing your perceptions to be very, very finely tuned to be able to receive from Me and My Spirit--and communicate.

"Do you understand this? My Spirit permeates and holds together all of creation. There is nothing He does not know or cannot transmit, once it comes into being; it permeates the entire universe. It is merely a matter of your fine-tuning your mind.

"This is why, My children, I tell you to withdraw from earthly entertainment. Withdraw your senses from this gross form of communication, because it dulls your ability to hear Me and My Spirit. What amazing things you will see and understand when you learn to reject the world's continual manipulative broadcasts! Especially fear broadcasts that are so disturbing to spiritual perception that they literally make you deaf. Why do you suppose the media is flooded with crass, carnal and violent stories, sights, sounds? Because they dull your senses and prevent you from hearing Me.

"Try this experiment. Turn off all the movies, loud and worldly music. Stay away from the city. Listen to very quiet, soothing music--such as Clare's dwelling music, or recordings of birds and water. Cut off your sensory perception, including reading and pictures from all of this. And after a week, see how much clearer your prayer life becomes."

That's why people go on retreats! (That was just me, thinking 'that's why they go on retreats--just to get away!')

Jesus continued, "And another hint: seek the wee small hours of the morning, where there is much more clarity, since the invisible buzz of the world's communications are also mostly silent. Become sensitive and you will see a major difference in your ability to hear Me."

Well, Lord, that's very interesting. Because I remember when I was in a cabin in the Pocono wilderness with my husband and four children. With only a little holy music. No internet, no communications outside--but long walks in the woods, mushroom hunting and climbing rocks and playing in brooks.

We came into a bustling town and all of a sudden, my mind was hit with an inaudible, naked-to-the-ear FLOOD. Ocean. Tsunami of noises and disturbances that were so painful to my head. Very disorienting. None of that was in the silence of the forest, but once we were out in 'civilization' it was unbearable.

He continued, "And to this day, you are sensitive. And it's no mistake that you are living in an adobe house, because this protects you from a rash of electronic noises. Nonetheless, night-time is the most peaceful. That is why I wake many of you up in the wee small hours of the morning; you are hearing and receiving most clearly then.

"My people, so many of you are starving and yearning to experience Me. I am continually talking to you, but you cannot hear, because you have drowned out My voice with the voice of the World. Do not be afraid to be alone or silent. Relish this time, because it is then that you will hear Me most clearly.

"Now I ask of you: reach out. Touch My Heart with your plea to hear Me. I wish to impart this gift to you, but with it must come self-control and developing an exclusive ear for My voice. I will anoint you with this gift now--if you will but ask. Time and space mean nothing. As you are reading this, cry out to Me and I will give it to you. It is My heart's desire to have this relationship with all of you. It is yours for the taking.

"Receive, and now put into practice the discipline of silence and cut out the cacophony of the world. I love you tenderly. Receive this gift from Me now."