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May 6, 2018

Dear Jesus, I hope this letter touches the hearts of those who keenly feel the rejection of their families and friends. And I pray that You will comfort all who are hurting with Your Love and Grace. Amen.

Well, my precious family, I've been busy with writing personal letters to very dear souls in painful situations. And because these letters take so long, and the Lord speaks through them at times, I am going to share them with you.

So, now some of the messages will have the ending 'Letter.'

And you can see, they will be very relevant to most of us, because we all are going through similar things. The names, circumstances and details will be slightly altered so they are not resembling the source they were taken from. But this will go for anything you ask me in a private letter or e-mail that I have to spend substantial time answering.

So. In this first situation, a young woman is living in a very repressive environment. She is actually a teenager. She is suffering at the hands of her family members, because she has an obvious birthmark that sets her apart from others as being different. Growing up in this situation has been hell for here and since she is not 18 yet, she can't leave. And the torment continues daily.

Her letter begins, "I would like to share the four rhemas I got, but before I share them, I would like to tell you what I was talking to the Lord about."

Now, I want to tell you here, in this situation she is pregnant and her parents don't know anything about it. Her father doesn't live with them, but nobody knows that she's pregnant yet. She's in an extra-stressful situation.

She goes on to say, "You see, I was telling Lord Jesus that I don't wish to stay in my house anymore. I told Him that I just want to go somewhere where I could just have my baby in peace. I went on to say that I try to do what He asks of me. I try to bring joy to others, even though I know that I have nothing to be happy about. I share the Gospel to help others in any way I can, but as soon as I get home... pain. Heartbreak.

"It saddens me to say not my family alone causes it. I have no friends. My family doesn't speak to me. And well... I just couldn't live a life of pain and suffering anymore. I can't even count as to how many times my heart's been broken. I think the Holy Spirit just got tired of mending it back together to be broken again."

By the way, nothing could be further from the Truth. The Lord is always healing and mending!

She goes on here to say, "More than ever I just wish the people responsible for doing such damage to me would realize I did nothing but love them... and forgive them.

"Even when I was hurting the most. I wish they'd know that as they go to bed, I stay up and pray for them, instead of wishing bad on them. But yet, the great and mighty Yahweh has not taken away the pain they have caused me.

"And yet, I lie on my bed each day, wondering what could of been or what might be, if someone just realized my loneliness. My fear, my dying by the hands of my father."

And here she broke down in tears while she was writing this.

"...But this, what I told Him (God) I know it doesn't sound like I have much faith or trust. But sometimes even the strongest of men cry like little babies when they are hurt.


"People in the army cry when they have to see the guys they trained with or got close to die. Everyone has their moments of crying. And today I'm writing not all, but some of my feelings to you. I'm unable to put all into words...

"If only. If only the Lord would take me to Heaven right now I'd collapse into His arms and cry. Life wasn't really promising to me. A broken heart is only something Jesus can fix, because man can only fix it half-way.

"I don't know what my stance in life is, or what I mean to the few people I'm close to. But if the rapture would come now, I'd go and never look back on what a miserable life I've had. I just wanted to share this with you--not to hurt you or make you cry..."

Which she did...

"...just like I am doing at the moment. I'd really wish right now that the Lord would give you a message for me. It would just heal part of my pain.

"Anyways. This is the rhemas that I got."

So. I always love it when the Lord breaks in and starts speaking. But He hasn't quite done that yet here. I'm always very, very reticent to ask Him about anyone, because the devil is all too happy to oblige me and start speaking to me about someone. When I'm attached to them, you know. And I feel for them. It's difficult. It's very difficult to get a clear message that's free from any kind of bias.

So, I prefer the Lord speaks to me independently without asking about a soul. Because I don't want to invent something and put the Lord's Name behind it. I just don't trust it.

And that goes for dreams, too, guys. If you ask for the Lord to give you a dream about something, be careful if you get a dream about that. It may be from the enemy, because he knows that we want a sign or a dream - and he may give us one. So, discern it very carefully.

Okay. So, moving on, these were her rhemas:

#1 Pride is what defiles self-will. 

Well, what that means is pretty obvious. But it's the idea that wanting something for ourselves, apart from God, brings about an attitude of Pride. Self-will and Pride are very closely linked together, because self-will asserts that It knows what's best, rather than God. And so, It wants to dictate to God.

And her second one was:

#2 the mark of a true champion is to stand up to punishment and still become victorious.

And I want to say here, she is a champion! If she can pray for these people when they do these things to her, that's champion material. That's a very, very precious soul that's called to a high calling.

And she also got a rhema about St. Cuthbert and Psalm 15.

So, this is what I told her.

"Pride is so easy to fall into when you are wounded or rejected. It's a survival posture when people tell you that you are nothing. Your mind rises up with the help of the devils of course, to declare that you ARE something. And then you find things to accuse them of. We find fault with them and want to hurt them in return."

Now, I'll tell you, I have a mean streak. And that's my mean streak right there. When someone attacks me, immediately the thoughts rush into my mind about how I can attack them or get even with them. This has been a part of my flesh I've had to REALLY crucify and put down. This is what the enemy does. He wants to disorient you and strip you of your calling and your destiny. So, he puts you down, so you think you can't survive. You can't do anything. He puts you down. And he uses people around you to do it! Very often family members. And then, that causes me to react to them by finding fault with them and saying to myself, "Well, yeah. So, I've got this little problem, but look at all the things that are wrong with you!"

And that's judgment and that opens the door WIDE for every demon you can think of. Judgment is a huge door-opener.

So, the devil sets you up. He causes us to want to judge other people, put them down, because they've hurt us.

And then I continued here, and said, "It is a fact that Rejection brings in a demon of Rebellion. You see, Satan is out to steal your destiny. And in order to do that, he has to strip you down to nothing. And in the process of doing that, he builds you up in the area he wants to divert you into, so you will react and go the way he wants you to go with your life--even suicide. 

"Precious," I continued, "the Lord will work with you, but you must ask Him to take away all pride from you. And to look at others as better than yourselves, even though their behavior is contrary to that.

"One of the symptoms of Pride is self-will, thinking that you know better than others. That you are better equipped to make decisions than they are. 'It's not just.'

"And that's not all. It is also complaining against God, who has put you into this family for a reason--which may be their salvation, learning mercy, kindness and forgiveness. The Lord may allow the baby to be born into your family environment and it may change them. We don't know what He has in mind. But whatever it is, it is far above what you or I are thinking. 

"You are looking at the quicksand all around you. He is looking at the salvation of souls, how He is training you in humility, submission and forming you to be completely His. 

"In the monastic life, the Superior of the convent may be wrong in what they say, do or in attitude, but they are still responsible for the souls in the monastery. And they are many times led by God, although what they ask others to do may seem contrary to a holy life."

We just don't know how God is steering a person. So, while we're busy saying, 'Well, you should be doing this. You should be doing that, you should be leading or guiding this way or that way.' While we're busy doing that, God is trying to get through to that person what He really wants them to do. For us to judge and make suggestions not only puts us in the judge's seat--which the Lord abhors. He doesn't want ANYONE in His seat. But also, it's causing you to fall into judgment, which opens a door for demons for you. So, Judgment is something we want to stay totally clear of.

"In a family, the mother and father are the head and God gives them wisdom on how to raise their children. If they are making serious mistakes, all you can do is pray that God will give them more wisdom. Pray much for both of your parents that somehow Holy Spirit will get into their thinking and they'll do the right thing for a change."

And I tell people who are about to be married--you're gonna die to yourself. He's gonna die to himself, and you're gonna die to yourself. And God is going to reform you into one flesh and heart, one mind, one body. So, be ready to die if you get married. Be ready to die. Because there's things in you that will HAVE to die. And some people who wanted to be in monasteries find that when they get married, it's not any different. There's still a Head to the family, which is the man. And they still have to work their way around that and be obedient and supportive of their husband.

And vice versa. Men have to be taking very good care of the women. And that means, instead of a nice fast car, you trade it in for a van! You know? Instead of being able to sleep soundly all night, you walk the baby and burp the baby in the middle of the night because she's exhausted. You die to yourself. Things have to change when you get married.

So, monastic life and married life can be very similar in many ways.

I went on to say, "When we complain about our circumstance, we are complaining against God, because He's the One who deliberately put you there. It would be so much better for you if you could cooperate with your Cinderella status (in other words, ashes and dust and rags) and not fight against it or want to escape it. This is the high road to sanctity. More than anything, I want to see you live to the fullest and fulfill God's will. You dreaming of what you could have been is a lie from Satan to make you reject the reality of your life.

"The very best posture is to pray and ask for God to deliver you from evil. Deliver you from a life you don't have the strength to live OR give you the grace you need to endure this persecution. What the Lord has placed you in is the best possible situation for you for the time being... if you rise above your flesh and wanting to escape their tormenting actions and words.

"How does one do this? Be united so closely to Jesus that no one else in the world matters to you, and their opinions or actions have no effect on you. Only HE has an effect on you and HE lives in you. HE stands straight and tall in you and nothing THEY can do can possibly hurt you.

"The only way you can be hurt is if you agree with them and buy into their lies. Or you react in the flesh. Hard as it is to do, your survival lies in cleaving to the Lord with all your heart, all your strength and mind, and loving Him and your neighbor as yourself.

"He knows how you have been made and what you are capable of and what kind of grace He is willing to give you to endure this situation and come out on top. In essence, your family is helping you detach from the world and attain true holiness, in being able to cleave and be in complete union with Jesus and rejecting the shallow ways of the world.

"It's as though you must live in two realities. The passing one--where your flesh is alive. And the eternal one--where your flesh will eventually be glorified.

"This is also where the loneliness will stop. I was an only child, so I know loneliness. But I have found that, because I was alone so much and left alone in a single parent family, that I found my amusement and life in things outside of myself. And I can't tolerate noise, but easily tolerate silence and prayer.

"And this is to my advantage. The Lord was forming me even then. Most people cannot stand silence. They live in a constantly talking, moving, acting world and that prevents them from going deeper into themselves and into their relationship with God. So, you actually are being pushed into a place of total dependence on God by the circumstances in your living situation.

"People who live this way have less problems than those who are constantly influenced by their peers and really don't know their own selves very well at all."

And you know, there's a point. As an only child and a single parent family, I wondered what it would be like to have sisters and brothers. And now that I'm in ministry, I find out all about having sisters and brothers! And the tremendous effect they can have on a soul, and how their lives can be warped by what sisters and brothers have to say. And manipulated and criticized. I mean, the support of family unity is wonderful, but let's face it. It's not all about love and support. There's a whole lot of stress and friction in families over different things. And that definitely has an effect on our formation as a person, and as a personality.

"Sometimes if we try to get out of where we are, we go from BAD to WORSE, because we are not protected when we step out from God's covering. Which no matter how repressive it is, is still better than what could happen if we rebel. You can be sure that demons of Rebellion have built a stronghold in you and are constantly feeding you lies, bitterness, self-hatred, ingratitude--and when the Lord is ready to deliver you out of this situation, He will do it. Especially if you are praying and offering your sufferings for your parents and hateful siblings.

"Honey, I don't want to discourage you, but somehow you must get an overview of your life in God and ask Him, 'Why am I here in this family? Please explain this to me, Lord. Help me to see the good and be grateful. Give me the moral strength to survive in this brutal environment. I can't do it without You, Lord. You are all I have.'

"A prayer like that is very pleasing to Him and He may begin to open your eyes. Listen very carefully, because He will open your eyes.

"#2 'The mark of a true champion is to stand up to punishment and still become victorious.' Well, I have told you before that God has something truly great for your life and He is preparing you to stand when everyone else falls apart.

"Perhaps it will be the Rapture. They will remember how long-suffering you were for them. Your whole life lived until that very last moment will become a living testimony of love and forgiveness and convict them of their vile and condemning ways. 

"The question that defines the sheep from the goats is, 'Did you Love?' Because if they loved, they fed the poor, clothed the homeless, visited the sick, visited prisons. They were kind and forgiving, and went on missions to bring Christ to people. If they did none of those things, they will be standing with the goats. But your job is to stand up and be a true champion in Charity, Love and Forgiveness over those who are beating you.

"And the third rhema you got was St. Cuthbert. His feast days, by the way, are March 20th. Also August 31st and September 4th.

"The earliest biographies concentrate on the many miracles that accompanied even his early life. But he was evidently very persistent and always traveling. A priest spreading the Christian message to remote villages, and also able to impress royalty and nobility. His style of life was austere, and when he was able to, he lived the life of a hermit, though still receiving many visitors.

"And I have to say here that, in an environment such as yours, Dear--you become a hermit, so to speak. Because you're tucked into yourself. You're not able to really mix with everything outside of yourself, because of the hostility. So, you tuck in to yourself.

"His fame for piety, diligence, and obedience quickly grew. He spent much time among the people, ministering to their spiritual needs, carrying out missionary journeys. His asceticism was complemented by his charm and generosity to the poor, and his reputation for gifts of healing and insight led many people to consult him, gaining him the name of 'Wonder Worker of Britain,' preaching, and performing miracles. 

"After Cuthbert's death, numerous miracles were attributed to his intercession and to intercessory prayer near his remains.

"According to Bede's life of the saint, when Cuthbert's sarcophagus was opened eleven years after his death, his body was found to have been perfectly preserved or incorrupt. This apparent miracle led to the steady growth of Cuthbert's posthumous culture, to the point where he became the most popular saint of Northern England. Numerous miracles were attributed to his intercession and to intercessory prayer near his remains.

"Now. Sometimes, when you get a Rhema with a saint on it, there is something in their lives that parallels yours. Or is important for you to read or understand for encouragement. Or, it may be through the Holy Spirit you are being offered an intercessor. Someone to intercede for you. The Great Cloud does pray for and intercede for us on Earth and it is a great privilege to have one offer to take you under their wing.

"The fourth rhema was Psalm 15:

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?  Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken.

"I made a song from this. to help me with my bad attitudes. The song is "Who May Dwell?" Which is also Psalm 15. It's an attitude check. If you are able to pray and care about those who persecute you, you are doing very, very well. But if in truth, bitterness has taken up a place in your heart, even the tiniest seed can affect your entire life. Your attitude will destroy you. 

"I'm not saying it's easy, but the one thing the devil wants to do is steal your destiny from you. So, he has set up ways to hurt you, permanently. He wants to warp your personality so you will never fulfill your destiny. And this means causing you to be bitter about your life, so that a root of bitterness will contaminate your thinking and feeling. 

"I can see, Dear One, that this has already happened to you. So, the challenge is to be a living saint and truly, from the heart, reject all bitterness. And ask God to remove these seeds and trees and vines and roots of bitterness in your heart.

"God is the One who is responsible for you being born into this family, and most likely, He did get your permission before you came to Earth. So, the challenge is to work with Him in what He wants to accomplish through you for your family and for your destiny. He makes no mistakes and He never puts us in a situation where we cannot survive. His grace is always accomplishing His ends--that is, IF the soul will cooperate.

"Psalm 15 is a call to high holiness. It really takes a lot to put down your flesh and not get discouraged. You are living with a group of people who do not know God or His ways or they would never be abusive. However, the Lord put you there for a reason. Perhaps even to save their souls. 

"Please listen to this song: "All He Says I Am" by Cody Karnes, who is Kari Jobe's husband now. I think it's really going to help you get a handle on who you are in God's eyes. I believe it will speak to your heart and help you navigate these treacherous waters.

"I'm praying for you, with all my love."


So, dear family of Heartdwellers. That's what I've been busy doing. I've got two or three more of these letters that I want to share with you, with different people and different issues.

But as you can see, what she's going through, all of us have gone through in one form or another. It's just very, very severe and there is a silver lining to this cloud. And there is a rainbow. It's just discovering what is God's will in the situation.

How can I cooperate with what You've allowed in my life, Lord? How can I rise above it and put my flesh and the devil under my feet?

And it's a training. A very difficult one. But. We're standing with you, Dear Ones that are suffering these things. We're standing with you and we pray for you and hope that you will not only grow in sanctity, but will be delivered out of the circumstances that are so painful for you.

I wanted to make one short announcement. I've been reading two books by John Ramirez: "Armed and Dangerous" and "Unmasking the Devil". And I highly recommend these books. I'm going to formulate a new binding prayer based on what he teaches in these books. Because he certainly knows how the demonic realm works. The hierarchies and everything else. He knows what to target. So, there'll be a new binding prayer coming out in the not-too-distant future.

I want to thank you for your prayers. And tell you Ezekiel is doing very, very well. He's wearing me out, as a matter of fact! He's doing so well. And so excited about life and so busy.

We do come under attack still, but not anything like what was going on when he was really sick. Things are moving along beautifully. Thank you so much for your prayers. And your support of the Channel. We are so appreciative. Thank you for your kindness.

God bless you.