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July 7, 2018

And Heartdwellers, I want you to understand. I'm sorry about this letter being so long, and I don't mean for it to be tedious. But this man's opened up a HUGE can of worms. A huge perspective on how MOST people feel. And it's not talked about enough, and it's not dealt with. You have to really go out of your way to get it dealt with.

Because if you are in a situation where you have a strong culture in a church and certain expressions, words that you use, actions that you use are kind of expected - you don't get ministry.


"January started a revival in me. A mission to find the presence of God above all else in my life. Or die trying!"

I don't know, young man... It seems to me like you've been this way your whole life! Die trying? Oh my goodness... I don't think that was anything new to you.

"But I think it was sometime in February," he continues, "technically when I found your YouTube channel. I don't even remember how I found it. I was trying to re-find the Holy Spirit rhema YouTubes channels that I had abandoned. And because of God's supernatural Grace, I randomly stumbled across yours.

"That leads me to today. Today, I do have hope. Today, I DO have a hunger for God's presence and intimacy with Him. Today, I am starting to see small changes taking place in my life. Some addictions and sins are being up-rooted. I'm pretty sure I have a root of bitterness somewhere, and definitely pride issues. And a problem with self-hatred."

And, just a short note on that. Pride and self-hatred go together. 'Cause self-hatred is like a death wish, mentally. And pride is the thing that you just naturally use to jack yourself up, just to be able to survive. You go around without feeling there's anything good about yourself. And you're all bad. That's pretty hard to survive that. So, something inside of you creates a bigger picture of who you are, a better picture of who you are to offset how bad you've looked in the past. So, it's a see-saw. Pride and Self-Hatred go back and forth in a person's life.

Okay. So, let's see...

"I also am too selfish with my time, and I'm focused on isolating instead of loving others."

Good point! And that's why I suggest you start working in some kind of an outreach. Either for handicapped children, or handicapped young adults. Or a soup kitchen. Some kind of outreach where you can begin to relate to other people who have problems.

"But I have decided, finally, that I'm not going to take all the thinking into my own hands. I've tried for four years to think my way out of it, and micro-analyze what I'm doing that might be displeasing to God. Or if my worship wasn't perfect enough."

Oh, my goodness...

"My heart right now is that, of course, I want to please God and have a pure life, without worldly distractions, thoughts and entertainments. But I won't try to keep striving for it like a maniac. Just focusing on denying myself, praying for God's sight to reveal my hidden and obvious sins to me. And instead of trying to micro-manage myself in the flesh, praying for the strength to repent and renounce them, instead of using sheer will-power instead of trying to save myself. And pursuing true, heart-to-heart intimacy with God and ignoring the rejection. Because I know that He DOES want to have a relationship.

"Today, I'm no longer in an un-healthy long-distance relationship. I'm learning to worship on my own. I'm trying to love my family and co-workers in a godly way. And I'm putting the selfish time-wasting-and entertainment-seeking me behind. I'm reading the Bible quite a bit now and I'm listening to your teachings almost every day. And I'm going through your whole playlist about intimacy with Jesus."

Good. That's great.

"And it looks like I'll be able to start volunteering at a food pantry once every two weeks."


"Which is awesome, since I've been looking forward to ways I can grow to love and serve in a safe capacity. And I'm learning not to make so many excuses.

"Well, I can't think of anything else right now. It's almost midnight and my brain isn't working. I think I'll sleep and I'll come to this in the morning and see if there's anything I missed."

lol. Well, I think one thing that you missed is that, you really ARE living the life the Lord would have you live! This is beautiful. You're doing all the right things. You're led by the Holy Spirit. Be encouraged! You're definitely on the right track. Look at the choices you're making. Look at the fruit in your life that's coming. You know, giving up certain sins, and things that waste your time. It's unmistakably the Lord who's working through you, and you're being led by the Holy Spirit. How beautiful is that.

Okay. So, this must be the next morning now.

He said, "Thank you for reading through all of this, and I hope it isn't going to take a huge chunk out of your day."

Well, no. It didn't. But it gives me an opportunity to share your situation with the rest of the world. Who's living this way, too, and has the same questions.

"I hope I can figure out an answer to the question I posed in the beginning. I know God is faithful, and He won't abandon people who are truly seeking Him. But if people tell me, 'I've been seeking to know the Lord.' And He isn't revealing Himself - I want to know what to say to reassure them. I've seen many people who are like this. Christians who've turned from the worldly church - but also God. Turned from God completely. Just living lives like everybody else.

"I used to strive for a supernatural encounter with God, where everything would change in a moment. So I could tell others that they could have the same thing. But my path has been different. I didn't even know if I had the Holy Spirit for years. Eventually, I settled on the conclusion that I did, even though I don't remember being filled with the Spirit. Nor do I remember the specific time when I repented and turned to Jesus. It's probably because there were many times I repented and gave my life to Christ."

And you know what? You can't be too repentant. That's a beautiful thing. A sensitive conscience and be repentant is a beautiful thing. As long as you believe that He has already given you His word that you're saved. But sanctification is ongoing. It takes time. It takes perseverance. And if people say, "I want to know God, but He's not revealing Himself." Send them to our Channel. Send them to our Channel and share with them some of the videos that's you've discovered and really answer some questions for you.

We're almost at the end, here.

"I'm really astounded at the message Jesus gave you to give me. He knew that I was yearning for understanding, because my days are riddled with confusion. Which is part of the reason why it's taken me four years to arrive at this point. When, some people I know were in the world - now spirit-filled and anointed, when I was already seeking to know the true and living God. I feel kind of behind..."

Well, you know what, young man? Part of that is protection, to keep you from being Prideful. I have no doubt that someday, you're going to be leading other people to the Lord. Even now, you have opportunities. And you'll be able to sympathize with a whole gamut of reasons why they haven't been able to get close to God. Because you went through them, too! And that's a beautiful thing. He's forming you. He's forming you and He's giving you obstacles, and He's helping you overcome them.

Now, in the future, you'll be able to work with other people who have the same obstacles and bring them to the Lord.

I think one of the secrets to the Lord's heart is... Well. Read the Beatitudes. He loves meekness and humility. But He is absolutely smitten with people who love OTHER people, and give their time, give their resources. Do things for others out of Love, without any kind of reward in mind. This is something that is very, very powerful with God.

And I'm not saying to do this to get His attention. I'm just telling you, that's a natural response of His, is that you're helping others and you're feeding others and you're taking care of others. His natural response is to want to replenish you and strengthen you and lead you.

So, that is definitely a secret key to His heart.

Okay. "Thank you for your encouragement, for sharing what you've learned with me is very encouraging to hear. I love your song 'Empty Fears."'

I'm so glad you said that. Because that song is not perfect, but I felt the message was perfect for this time and season. And you're a confirmation to that.

And Kari Jobe's song, "Only Your Love." And "You Are For Me" is also a completely beautiful worship song. Boy it is... You know, He played that for me today? Because I've been a space-case for days. I don't know if it's the heat or what it is, but it's been very hard for me to nail down and concentrate on anything.

And also, the Lord's asked me to change my hours, so I'm kind of working on that. I think my body is disoriented.

"You Are For Me." by Kari Jobe is a wonderful song. And I know that when He picks it, He's trying to tell that to you.

I've got a couple of songs now that I could sing acapella and get on YouTube. I probably should. 'Cause boy--they're anointed for this season in your life. I wish I could say that this won't recur in your life--once you're over it, you're over it... But, the Lord stretches us to new levels, all the time. So, get comfortable with change and stretches, 'cause that's what it's about, to be a Christian. He stretches us and He perfects us.

And here he goes. He said, "I didn't think I was going to 'get' Terry MacAlmon, but HIS songs are incredible, too!"

Yeah. Terry's a little mainstream for me, but he's anointed. That's the thing. There's an anointing there.

"Julie True's worship songs--they're amazing since they're so sweet and calm. And long, so that you don't have to think about switching songs."

Amen to that!

"I think it will take a while for me to get the hang of a Rhema words, since my own thoughts are rushing about and hard to keep quiet. But I will keep a notebook and pencil nearby, just in case He starts speaking."

Sweetie? Keep your COMPUTER nearby, 'cause if He starts speaking, you're gonna want to type it up! You're not gonna want him to stop. I shouldn't say 'if'. I should say 'when' He starts speaking.

And remember that on we have Rhema words. You click on that link and say a short prayer; the Holy Spirit will bring up a Rhema word on that link. So, you click on it, a Rhema word comes up. And down the page just a little bit and to the left, there's a Rhema message. And that's wonderful, because it's like your own, personal teaching for the day. It's very, very powerful. Carol uses that every single day.

So, "I think it will take a while for me to get the hang of a Rhema word." Well. You'll see. If you start using that resource. You'll see.

And one thing, how I would describe to you, when you're reading the Scriptures--the Rhema word, the word that's anointed for you on the page... I don't know how to describe it, except... while you are reading, all of a sudden, something says, 'Wait a minute. That's for ME. That applies to ME.' Something gets your attention. It's like you're reading the words, but all of a sudden, you're reading 'between' the lines. And you realize that God has given you a word about YOUR specific situation.

So, listen for that, when you're reading the Scriptures. And I open the Scriptures frequently, for a Rhema word. And He shows me amazing things through that. Because there's so many personality studies, in the Rhema word. So many situation studies. There's so many things in the Scriptures, situations that repeat themselves in real life. Characteristics of people. Outcomes of situations that, you know - when He picks that for me and I open the Scripture, and I read that. I can relate to it in the present time, and I know how to handle it. I'm no longer in the fog as to deal with it.

Okay, let's see what else. We're almost done here. You'll get the hang of the Rhema word, don't worry.

Oh, and I suggest to you that you get an index card file. You start writing down words on index cards and picking a random word, maybe one, two or three during the day. We've got an accumulation of probably 2,000 of them, 'cause we've been doing this for so long. And I have these boxes scattered all through the house. And it will absolutely blow your mind, the things that come out of those boxes. They are SO ...what's the word. They are so urgently needed and on point that it... It's so supernatural! And that's one of the ways you can know that God is with you, is by getting a supernatural word like that. I highly recommend making a Rhema box.

And what do you put on it? Hey... You could put a bumper sticker on it, you know, something you saw on a bumper sticker. You could put something you read out of the Bible. You could put the out-come of a situation, and how God came through for you in a situation where there was no hope. Oh, just so many different things you could put on those little cards. And then you come and choose from them during the day, or one or two days - and the word is fresh again. Because the situation is the same as it was when you wrote the card, maybe a year ago. Or in out case, 30 years ago!

And "In the past four years I started seeing signs of the number 44, 144 and 444. I know that 444 is the number of the Gospel."


" Since I just read it. But what do the other numbers mean? I don't want you to think too hard."

Okay. I think the Gospel, 444 for the Gospel is pretty right on. It can mean other things, too, but I can't go into them right now.

Okay. Then he closes his letter saying, "I think I'll wrap this up by thanking Jesus, thanking you and Ezekiel. And thanking Carol and all the people volunteering and on the payroll for helping this amazing ministry, to keep going. Thank you, guys."

I thank you, too. I love every single one of you.

"And helping the lost to hear about the unyielding love of Jesus Christ."

Amen! That's what it's all about.

"P.S. Carol - I am a transcriptionist."

Hey! You're gonna need one for this message, Sweetheart!

"I'm a transcriptionist myself, so I know how much work it can be to transcribe audio into text. Thank you for doing an amazing job. I read your transcripts all the time, because sometimes I don't have the time to listen to a message. Thank you for all your work in all the other areas of ministry, too.

"P.P.S. - Ezekiel. You've modeled yourself after Christ, and that is inspiring me to do the same. All around me I hear people saying that men are dogs, and all the same. The worse half of humanity. But you have a true honor from God and are so gentle at the same time. My personality is not male-dominant, so it is encouraging for me to see there is honor, strength and gentleness together in a person. That is all possible with God. I want these traits, too. I empathize with your suffering these past years. I haven't been there for all of it, but it really is amazing how close you and God have become. And you have no idea how much it lifted my spirits when God started healing you, bringing you to your feet again. That's quite amazing."

And then he sends a photo of himself. And... At this point, young man, you can put your fingers in your ears... (He's a VERY handsome young man. Beautiful young man!)

"I do want closeness to God. I do want to leave the world behind in my actions and thoughts. And I do want to work with God to bring souls to His feet. And to His heart. I want everyone to know, especially my family, that it's possible to have an intimate relationship with a God Who is close--and not distant.

"Hugs in Christ."

Ahhh... lol.

Then he says, "P.P.P.S. - Jesus. Thank You for bringing me this far. I can't wait to be closer to You. :0)"

Oh, boy. What a blessed young man this is.

Well. I do have one recommendation for you. You could become a missionary. If that's what you want to do, and it sure sounds like it. You've got a burning heart for it. You could become a missionary.

Youth With a Mission trains people. And if you decide to go with Youth With a Mission, let me know. They've got some wonderful training programs. And that would give you some structure and direction in your life. As I said, the more you serve the Lord when you go into serious prayer - the more He responds. Because He's got to fill YOU up, to go out - so you can fill others up. And draw Him closer to you.

Well, thank you for this letter.

And dear YouTube listeners--I'm sorry it's so long. But I think there's probably an awful lot of young people out there who can relate to this. And I encourage all of you: give your lives to the Lord. Seek a holy vocation serving Him. Don't give your life to the world. Don't spend your life serving the world.

You can have a wonderful marriage, have children--and be in the mission field, too. It's... You don't have to have money and live in the world.

And as a matter of fact, the way people are now--and they have, actually, always been this way. Seeking security in a marriage. They may not necessarily LOVE you, but they see that you're secure, you know? Security and money and all those things. Oh, what a terrible thing to live for.

A missionary is a wonderful. wonderful work.

So. The Lord bless you, YouTube Family. Thank you for responding to our needs so beautifully. We have sent a LOT of money out to different missions. And people ask me all the time who is worthy of donations.

Well. I know Erik is. I know his work, I know him very, very well. That would be the Flutemaker. Erik the Flutemaker Ministries.

I know Samaritan's Purse is amazing. They have things going on all over the world. Anyone who is in distress or need of any kind, Samaritan's Purse is there with them.

And Voice of the Martyrs is wonderful. And I'm especially touched to give to the widows of ministers who've been martyred for their faith. They still have their children to raise. And then there's people who've been displaced from their homes, and they're living in camps. And there's people who want to go back to their homes that ISIS destroyed and they're building new homes for them.

So, those are ALL wonderful causes.

And if you want to look at any more causes, you can go ahead and go to our Outreach page on And the other thing that I can encourage is the local utility company. Find somebody there who has a heart. For us it's the lady who runs the past-due accounts and shut-off notices. And she sends us people all the time. And if we're in a position to, we get them caught up, so they don't get their utilities turned off.

So, the Lord bless you, dear ones. And please, share this letter with other young people that you know that are going through things like this. And God bless you. We love you, dear ones. Thank you so much for being on our Channel, and thank you so much for your feedback and prayers.