The resources section has ideas/links for left behind packages

July 14, 2018

Well, my dear Family, I want to be faithful to you to continue to share the things that have hindered my relationship with the Lord and hearing Him. The blocks I have created in the past are the results of selfishness, disobedience and laziness in seeking out His perfect will.

In the beginning of the binding prayer, I outline a review of my actions in my conscience:

For instance, the first paragraph is: PREPARATION.

"My Precious Father, my Beloved Jesus & my Dear Comforter, I enter Your court with a thankful heart for You have preserved me and given me all I need to serve You. Spirit of God teach me to worship You continuously in Spirit and Truth, to see, hear, understand You clearly in every way You speak to me. Father, I forgive & bless from my heart, those who have hurt me. And I pray for restoration, healing & conversion for them."

So, that's the prayer. And in that is contained several points that are very important.

1. A thankful heart, asking for guidance in worship. And an attitude of wanting to learn...a hunger. A thankful heart.

2. Also I ask to be broken out of any preconceived ideas about how He wants to speak to me. In that way, I honor His choice and do not make demands on Him to send a "thundercloud and lightning" with a message to me. I remain vigilant of everyone and everything around me that God might use to give me guidance.

3. I forgive my enemies and pray for their conversion and healing.

Now, let me warn you here, I'm no saint. And I don't pray this every single day. But I do try to follow it, especially when I'm living mindfully and not in a rush.

So, REPENTANCE. That's the next paragraph.

"Holy Spirit, my Comforter, please reveal to me if I have hurt You, or opened doors to demonic oppression, or planted seeds of bitterness?"

Oh, guys - it is so EASY to get a seed of bitterness! Ugh...

"Have I forgiven everyone? Have I judged, compared or secretly criticized, falsely accused, gossiped, or cast a slur; did I exaggerate, color the truth or lie? Did I spend money meant for other things or take something that belonged to another? Did I covet, lust or entertain sinful thoughts? Was I disrespectful to anyone, or to those in authority?

"Was I arrogant, proud or jealous? Have I failed to BELIEVE & ACT on Your promises or been lazy, wasting time, disobeying, complaining, ungrateful?

"Lord, I repent and rend my heart, and long to return and please You. For You are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love."

So. In that paragraph, first I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal how I may have offended Him? To be perfectly honest, I don't wait around for an answer. I move on to the next thing. But I should dwell on that. And I do give Him the opportunity to speak to me. During the day, I listen for those things that are offensive to Him.

And I've kind of bulleted these and given them numbers. That was the 4th one.

5. Have I judged? Judgment stinks to high heaven and is extremely off-putting to God, the Great Cloud of witnesses and the angels.

6. Did I gossip or cast a slur on anyone?

7. Did I lie about something? Even a little lie counts.

Unless you're smuggling Bibles... That's a different story.

8. Was I arrogant, proud, presumptuous or jealous?

9. Did I fail to believe God's word to me?

You know. If I have unbelief, I'm not going to apply myself to the greatest degree that I can. If there's a little speck of unbelief in there, it weakens the whole structure. And I get tired and discouraged easily. When I really spend good time with Him, when I've really captured and protected the inspiration that He's gives me, I don't fail to believe His word. But it's like a little motor. It keeps me running, pushing along to get it done.

10. Have I been lazy or procrastinating, making excuses?

Sometimes that can be a cover-up for unbelief, as well. Underneath that complaining and ingratitude and grumbling, there's something underneath it. And we need to find out what's causing me to do this? And I need to stop.

11. Have I complained, been ungrateful and grumbled?

12. Have I glossed over my faults and sins rather than taking the time to truly repent.

Oh dear, even as I type this out, I am feeling serious conviction! No wonder my vision of the Lord is clouded; I have done all of these things this past week. If I had to choose one thing I wanted to change immediately, it would be ingratitude and grumbling. Oh God, help me to thank You continuously.

To this I would like to add:

13. Have I taken time to really worship You, or have I skimmed over quiet time and called it good, being in a hurry to do other things? Where is my heart really at? What do I spend most of my time doing?

14. Have I truly waited on God? Or rushed out of prayer time to do the next thing on my list--even if it is holy, like answering posts and letters.

15. Have I been generous in giving, and not missed an opportunity to do for others?

16. Do I respond to the lonely and hurting? Or do I rush off in pursuit of something more creative to do?

17. Do I really 'break the seal' on my heart and pour myself out on others in prayer?

18. Have I been obedient to the inspirations of Holy Spirit? Or have I heeded the check in my spirit?

And here's something that happened just today. Today, my helper went to do grocery shopping for me. I wanted some convenience food from the deli, so I asked her to get me dolmas--which are made with rice and herbs wrapped in grape leaves. I had a bit of a check in the spirit when I told her. I thought, 'hmmm... I hope they're not too expensive.' But I didn't pay real good attention to it. Mostly, I eat very common and inexpensive foods, and I thought, 'Well, 6 of those will be inexpensive, because I'll stretch them out over several days.'

But, then I got a reading from the Psalms talking about God's Correction and I thought, 'Uh-oh. I'd better not do this.' But it was too late. She had already left the store. So, I asked my son to buy them from me... How convoluted can I get! ...since he happens to love them. And I will fast and I will use the money for charity.

To make a long story short, while I was taking my afternoon reboot nap, he left and went home. Early. When I awoke, I asked Ezekiel about him and I said, 'What happened?" And Ezekiel answered me, "Oh, he got really sick from those dolmas! Pressure in his intestines, throwing up and having to stay in the bathroom for the other symptom."

Oh, I felt so badly! And I thought, 'oh, boy - he's gonna get dehydrated. I hope it's not too bad.' And this was MY fault! If I had just heeded that check in my spirit about the dolmas, it never would have happened. But I was not obedient to the subtle leading of Holy Spirit the first time. I tried to rationalize my way through it. And the enemy used it to hurt my son.

Oh, my dear ones. Jesus loves obedience to the littlest things. It gives Him so much pleasure to see us being vigilant and obedient. Not to mention that, by obeying, He protects us from harm.

Oh, there are so many things that injure the Heart of God, my dear ones. When we injure others, either through omission or commission, it hurts the Lord. The irony of this is that, to change, we need more intimacy with God. More deeply communing with Jesus; more obedience to Holy Spirit.

In the Scriptures, the Lord makes no mystery of what the disposition of heart must be to see Him. My two favorite Scriptures:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

"If anyone love me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and will make our home with him." John 14:23

And "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." is Matthew 5:8

You see, there are no guessing games about pleasing God. He makes it abundantly clear. Do you know why? Because He longs to be seen and heard by you, more than you do! Infinitely more than you do.

How can God have pleasure in fellowshipping with His creature if they cannot see or hear Him? Don't you long to be seen and heard by those you love? Especially when they are crying out for your attention! Especially when they need your wisdom?

What a joyful thing it is for me when my children say, "Mom, I need to talk with you. I need your help." When I hear that, a spark lights up in my heart. It explodes into a gentle explosion of love, and just wants to set everything aside so I can listen to them speak to their hearts.

So, I asked the Lord, "Do You have you anything to add, Jesus?"

Jesus began, "How much time are you willing to give Me, Clare?"

I want to give you all my time, Lord, but I am weak and impatient sometimes. Please help me.

"Those are sweet words. Do you have the patience to live up to them?"

No... But You can make me more patient.

"Well said. My precious ones, she spoke the truth when she said I desire to be with you more than you can even imagine. My heart longs for intimacy with you."

(He is speaking here of spiritual intimacy, not anything carnal, by the way.)

He continued, "When you spend a great deal of time making a gift for someone, don't you want them to express their gratitude for the gift of your heart?

"I am no different. I love gratitude.

"It is said that demons run on negative emotions, and indeed they do derive power from that energy you expend when you lose your temper.

"Well, the secret way to My heart is for you to notice every gift I give you. From time, to the health of your body, to your house or the land you live on. All of these things have been preordained and arranged to bring you the most conducive environment for your spiritual growth and happiness. I spend a great deal of time arranging the details of your lives, My precious ones.

"Most never notice--let alone give thanks. Most focus on the inconveniences rather than the conveniences.

"Of course, you have very wicked companions who continually feed negativity into your ears. What can you do about that? Make a conscious, continuous effort to worship and give thanks.

"Two things cannot occupy the same space at one time. You are busy praying, worshipping, thanking--these demons have nowhere to feed into you their lies and calumnies about Me. The airspace is already taken up with thanksgiving, as you recall everything from the fresh fragrance of the soil in your garden to the fragrance of rain. These little things that so few notice are gifts from My heart to yours. Relish them! Thank Me for them.

"Here are some of the ways you give place to the devils.

"Your wife is late with dinner. The enemy whispers in your ear, 'She doesn't care about your needs. She's been busy with what she likes to do. She figures you can wait, or make yourself a sandwich.' So you become irritated.

"The reality is that she's had a rough day and she's hurting and behind on her chores. You try to hold back your displeasure and irritation, but it comes out in the tone of your voice, 'Isn't dinner ready YET?' Now she feels condemned and guilty, on top of the other things that happened in her day.

"The enemy whispers in her ear, 'He doesn't care about your day! He just wants to be fed so he can lay back and watch his favorite program.' So, now SHE feels very alone, isolated and without support, and becomes upset with him--feeling that he doesn't care or love her. He's in his own world.

"So, she resentfully drops what she's doing and hurries to finish dinner for him.

"The unstated facts are that they have just received a seed of bitterness from one another, and now that will grow to a huge tree that will divide the house--unless it is cut down and removed from the root.

"On the other hand, lets look at a couple that is paying attention to Me. He gets home--hot, hungry--tired from a long day. There's no aroma of dinner in the air. The enemy whispers in his ear, 'She doesn't care about your needs! She's been busy with what she likes to do. She figures you can wait or make yourself a sandwich.'

"Because he has practiced an attitude of gratitude, he rejects that idea, and hears something like this from My Spirit. 'She's had a really hard day. You'd better go check on her.'

"So, he finds his wife, looks into her eyes. Her face is a bit strained. She feels guilty that dinner isn't started yet, but she doesn't want to burden him with her day, because he looks tired, too.

"She blurts out, 'I'm sorry about dinner, Honey! I'm running behind." He says, 'Tell the truth; how did your day go?' She collapses on the couch, crying. They talk and console one another. Then, he picks up the phone and orders dinner out, or grabs a couple of meals from the freezer, and tells her to go get a shower and relax. He will fix a quick dinner...

"The difference between these two couples is that the first couple take each other--My great gift to them, a worthy spouse--for granted. And are ready to take their frustrations with their days out on one another and find fault.

"The second couple is profoundly grateful for their spouse, and wants to do all in their power to relieve their sufferings--even if it means a low-blood-sugar headache for an hour or so.

"The first couple has practiced unbridled complaining over the demands of their day for so long, it's become a bad habit. The second couple has practiced constant gratitude for the wonderful spouse I've given them, and would never dream of making their day harder by complaining.

"Which one are you in this story, My Beloved?

"It is written 'The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.' Proverbs 14:1

"When you offend one another and treat each other with contempt and irritation, you are tearing down your own house, and you have failed in charity and gratitude. Do you know? These attitudes cloud your mind with a kind of static block that makes it harder for you to see and hear Me? These are gross energy vibrations that build a wall around your mind--and the demons flock to them. Their goal is to divide and conquer, and every night gives them an opportunity to destroy a little more of your relationship, when you give into ingratitude and selfishness."

And just a little warning, guys. You really need to pray before the holidays and weekends. 'Cause that's when the devils take the worst advantage of family being together. They try to create as much division as they can in those two days. And they want to weaken you. They don't want you to rest.

Back to the Lord.

Then He said, ""A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

"You cannot control all that happens to you in a day, but you can certainly control your reactions and call upon Me for strength and wisdom.

"Build one another up, My people, and I shall build you up as well."