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January 2, 2019

Holy Spirit, You put this letter on my heart this morning. Please, open the eyes and hearts of parents everywhere to see their children in a new light. Growing up is rough, and especially when you don't agree with your parents on what you want to do with your life. Please, Lord, open hearts! Please bring peace and resolution to this family. Amen.

Well, my dear family, I am sharing a letter with you that I wrote to Rainbow's parents. There are so many young people in abusive homes. Carol and I felt it would be a blessing to the younger members of our Heartdwellers family. If you could read this letter, and to the parents.

All of you remember Rainbow and how she came to us in such a down-trodden situation. Needing our help and support to get out of a desperate circumstance. Well, she is out, and on her own now. But she wants to be able to see her family without being locked down by them. So, she is reaching out through me, to speak to them.

And the other reason is, she doesn't want something illegal hanging over her head, where she could be arrested at any moment because she left home. Rather, she wants to make peace with her family.

So, this is the letter.

Dear Parents,

I am writing this letter on your daughter's behalf, because she does not wish to be alienated from you forever. She still loves you, and wants to be connected to her family, but not living under your roof.

On September 14, 2002, a beautiful child was born to you--do you remember? Even though she bears the stigma of being an Albino, God has put in her an extraordinary heart to love others, and even the ones who hurt her. She recognizes she has not always been a good daughter--but then who of us was perfect growing up? Who of us never told a lie, or took something? Was tempted in a relationship, or misbehaved? It is part of the human condition...

I certainly was not a very good child. And the more dysfunctional my environment was, the worse I behaved and developed mental problems.

My mother abused me as a child. She left me home alone during the day and the night...a lot. And sometimes beat on me out of her own frustration and anger. I can't say I didn't deserve it at times. But my mother was a single mom and almost always angry, frustrated, tired, or sick. She took out a lot of her hurts and disappointments for her life on me, because I was closest to her.

When I found myself a single mom with 4 children, I would get angry and holler at them, because I, too, got frustrated with my state in life and was never taught by example how to discipline a child in love. Until Jesus showed me the better way. He said, "It doesn't have to be this way; you can discipline them without anger."

Then He taught me how to do that, and our home became peaceful again, because they started to obey, and they didn't stress me out anymore. So, I am living proof that an abusive childhood does not have to be passed onto the next generation.

Your daughter is not a child anymore. Think back to when you were 16. You were way past puberty. You had someone you cared about--a girlfriend or a boyfriend. You had hopes and dreams.

Then you had your family life--and had to deal with the anger of your parents, sometimes unjustly. Sometimes you didn't want to go home from school, because you knew what was waiting for you and you hated it.

Arguing, fighting were normal in your house--but arguing and fighting are NOT normal and are not God's way. A child growing up is very sensitive to criticism and name-calling.

You remember crying in your pillow when your parents were mean to you or to each other? Do you remember how they got angry with you for no reason and wouldn't listen to you when you needed to talk? Do you remember how they had their own ideas of what your life should be, and you had yours--and they were different? Do you remember feeling all alone, because nobody understood you, nobody supported you or what YOU wanted from life?

Do you remember feeling like you didn't want to live anymore??

And while you were crying and suffering under all this turmoil, do you remember what they were doing? Did they care about what you thought or wanted? Did they come to you tenderly and say, "What's the matter, daughter? I see you are not happy."

Or did they just go on living their turbulent lives while you cried in your pillow?

If you remember those moments in your life, you will relate to why your daughter left home. Please don't waste your time blaming others and blaming me. Your daughter was suicidal, and through prayer and talking I got her to promise she wouldn't kill herself. That there was hope. If I hadn't? You might be standing in front of her casket right now, weeping.

The bottom line is that she is in that casket--though she is alive. That life that she lived at home is dead. She is never coming back to live that way. Never. And she has Authorities on her side to see to it that she is not forced.

But fortunately for you, she is alive. And she does love you and forgive you. And she does want to be connected to the family--but never again controlled by you.

This child you were given is NOT your property. She was loaned to you by God, who gave her to you to heal you of your past, by loving you. And at the same time, the Lord was asking you to raise her up, love her, show her the right way when she does wrong.

And most of all, to tell her what a wonderful child she was and how much you believed in her. That you supported her dreams and will help her in any way to attain them. Isn't that what you wanted to hear from your parents, when you were vulnerable and growing up and had endless fears and questions??

These are the building blocks of a strong and healthy adult and future parent. These are the things children need as they are growing. Discipline, yes. But also love and recognizing what they want in their lives. Listening to their heart and encouraging them, even if it isn't what you want them to become.

Father, you want Rainbow to become a lawyer. Did you ever ask yourself if that's what she wants? Once our children can live on their own, they are adults. Rainbow is happy and living on her own. She is now entering adulthood. To insist that she is just a child and needs to be told what to do is to crush all her hopes and dreams to insert your own--that perhaps you wanted, but your parents forced you in another direction. This is repeating the errors of the past.

Rainbow recognizes that the suicidal thoughts and desires come from being told that she's no good. That even when she gets good grades in school, you tell her family she got bad grades. That completely demoralized her and made her want to quit and die. If you worked hard in school and got decent grades, you'd be proud--until your father spread the lie that you were good for nothing and got bad grades. How would you feel? Would you want to even go on living??

This young lady is tender and delicate. I know she has her times when she loses her temper, but by and large, she's a very tender and delicate soul. A very good soul. She's not running with gangs, doing and selling drugs, or stealing and beating others. Why would you threaten to send her to a school with hardened gang kids, violent and dangerous??? Why would you consider doing such a thing to her? She is one of the most sensitive and kind people I have ever known. And it is shocking to me that you would steal that from her but committing her to violent inmates in a school that is for criminals.

Mother and Grandmother. How would you feel if you, as a 15-year-old, went out of your way to make a birthday cake, for your mother and granny. And they looked at you in disgust and said, "I don't want it." Would you go and cry in your pillow? Or would you be happy and rejoice and sit and eat it yourself??

Those are just two little things Rainbow has shared with me about why she will never go back to live with you. Her heart has been broken over and over and over again. When she was told she was a promiscuous good-for-nothing, because she got bad grades... Which was a lie. And no one would listen to her when she wanted to confide in them. Rather, they would scream at her and push her away. Deprive her of her friends. Lock her up!

And this is where I enter in. She came to my channel when we had 28,000 subs and at least 5,000 regular watchers and over 50 comments on every message, every day. I had my hands FULL. But I heard the cry of a desperate young woman, that she could not live with the constant screaming and being cut off from the friends she had loved.

I saw a young person in deep, life-threatening trouble and I began to communicate with her. She confided all her hopes and dreams to me and she came to me not knowing what to do next. I talked her out of suicide more than once. I told her to pray for you and forgive you and try to do what she was told.

But her dreams never died, and they are still alive to this day. The path you want for your daughter is NOT what she wants. What she wants from you is her freedom. And until you can let her go, she will not return to live under your roof. She also has Children's Services involved, and once they hear the entire list of abuses from her, they will not put her under that roof again.

But the entire story doesn't need to come out. There is another way.

By Trinidad/Tobago law, a 16-year-old can be released from their family into the care of an adult, someone over 18 who is responsible and living on their own. Rainbow has someone like that. And it is not me--although I told her if she wanted to live with us, we would love to have her.

But she loves her family and wants to make peace with you before she does anything. Peace does not mean that she will submit to what you want. It means that you release her to go on with her life into the care of a responsible adult. This is what she is asking of you.

Until she is absolutely, legally, sure that this agreement has been reached, she will remain in her own healthy and safe environment. She asked me to tell you, "Tell them I miss them so very much, and that I love them. Tell them also that I will visit if the Lord allows."

And here I want to say one thing. Please do not get me wrong. I am not Rainbow's Lord. Jesus is, and He speaks to her and shows her many things. He also talked her out of suicide. He is the One who directed me to write this letter, so your family could be healed--His way. I am just a pastor that heard a young woman crying out on the edge of a precipice.

I live here in New Mexico with my husband and my two married sons and daughters-in-law that help me with our Vimeo channel. What I teach on my channel is to pray, love others and have your own personal face-to-face conversations with God. In other words, cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit. I teach how to discern God's will and the importance in following Him in your life.

I do not tell people what to do. I tell them to listen to their heart and their God and the Scriptures and do whatever HE tells you to do.

And another thing I would like to clarify. We are not a "cult." I am just a Christian pastor who reached out to help. We have no community nor group living with us. We are an online church. That means we have people from Nairobi to Japan, to Russia, Argentina, Australia--from the north to the south poles--that are a part of our online church. They live their own lives, but we all share our faith together on the channel. So, this is NOT a cult!

To wrap it up, I want to say Rainbow is asking for your trust and faith that she can live on her own and make a good life for herself. She is a very intelligent and talented young lady, with her own hopes and dreams. And all she is asking of you, if you want her to still be a part of the family, is that you respect her desires and release her legally to a responsible party to go on with her life. She is reaching out to you because she loves you.