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April 17, 2019

Thank You, Lord Jesus. You have made Your will clear to us. Please make us willing to let go of what we want, to fulfill the good things You want for us. Amen.

Well, my precious family, every day I am asking the Lord to get the Pride out of my system. Is it a bottomless pit?? I'm really wondering...

And every day He shows me more. But now I am faced with a task I am not worthy of, to help another get the Pride off their shoulder so they can enter into the glorious riches of Jesus with a clean heart.

"Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God."

So, this story begins, without a surprise... It begins with my blunder. I had invited a one of our members to live here with us in preparation for their work. I had promised to put him in a small apartment. Now, he had been here before and stayed with us under our roof, and it was a very sweet time of fellowship. At least for us. In fact, we really missed him when he left. He had a very quiet 9x12 room, isolated from the office, the kitchen, and recording studio.

But this time we were going to find him an apartment. As it turns out, I did not check with the Lord about this apartment.

We searched and found several affordable, suitable places. But every time we checked on them in the Bible Promise Book, we got Jealousy, Lust and the World, Selfish Ambition, etc. This was NOT a confirmation. When we inquired about him living here with us, as a last resort, Ezekiel got Holy Spirit. But our friend had already rented and filled the truck and was on his halfway across the country, coming here.

So, we had to break the news to him when he came and put everything in storage temporarily.

Oh dear... I made a commitment and the Lord had not sanctioned it. And I felt very badly. But on the other hand, I could see the logic in him staying here with us. It would foster a family environment, which is what Jesus wanted for His Church--NOT an institutional environment, at all. As well as, it would have made make times of dwelling prayer, which is so close to the Lord's heart and very healing. And this is something he hadn't experienced.

So, now on that note, I should have seen the writing on the wall. When he first came here and I described to him our mission, he immediately went out looking for suitable buildings, large buildings that could hold visitors. Oh, that brought up a BIG red flag! I don't have time for visitors, and his job was to travel, not bring people here.

The Lord brought us through the spirituality of St. Francis, which I vowed out of both conviction and true love, never to depart from; in living situations, especially. As best as I could do. And God gave us this house, of that I had no doubt. And my impression was that we would be here until the Rapture.

What was on our friend's mind was a large, slightly impressive building with ample space for all. "All" meaning people coming here for interviews and training. For ME? That spells a personal nightmare! I would never get anything done. And I didn't have any indication of that being the Lord's intention, either.

My friend came from a rather strict religious tradition that had very nice buildings. And so, he was feeling so sure of his convictions, and began to insist that we move to more suitable accommodations, while spending hours looking for such a place here in Taos.

But the Lord doesn't want us to replicate any other religious institutions, even the Franciscans. On the contrary, He wants us so simple that we are laughable. And I feel really good about that. Because before I was a Franciscan sister, my mother, and even my father who I didn't know, was an interior designer, and so into how things looked and impressed others. And I never, ever, want to go back to that! Ever.

Nor is it God's will.

Well, some don't give up easily. And our dear friend found countless flaws in our living conditions. A major fear that he had was that the shower would fall in on him. And I have to laugh to this day, because that shower is so sturdy in construction that if it did fall in on him, it would have been an act of God.

Then, so many excuses as to why he could not pray in a quiet 9 x 12 room, isolated from the busy part of the house. This was amazing to me, because he had been sleeping on the floors of trailers and in different people's storage rooms in order to serve. And we did not intend these accommodations to be permanent; just for a season to cultivate a family environment.

The Lord has put me in the challenging position of being a leader. And I much prefer to follow another, even the Lord. I have no interest in telling people what to do according to my fancies. But I do have an interest, a major interest, in holiness of life. In becoming the Lord's spotless Bride. In seeing all of you intimately tucked into His Heart and from His Heart loving the souls He died to save. Yes, this is my interest.

And yet, I will not force it on anyone. But the Lord has led us in very unconventional ways, dear ones. And I'm sure you know what I mean by now, if you've been with us for a while. To the world and men of wisdom, we look like fools. But the fruit is sweet, and I would have it no other way.

When we invite someone to work with us, it is a given that they will follow directions and be pliable. And if they are under our covering, being ordained into an office, it is stated during the ceremony.

And I HATE to use obedience. I hated obedience, until the Lord showed me the meaning of it. I began to obey Him and my husband, and the fruit on my tree was very beautiful. I saw the difference between my way and the Lord's, especially when it made absolutely no sense at all.

And then He transferred the obedience to my husband, with whom I had plenty of differences of opinion. We are quite opposite. If a room is too cold for him, it's too warm for me. On and on and on... But obeying him was always the best way to go. God put him in that place after all, and I wanted to honor God, as well.

But so many say one thing and hold on to other things hidden in their hearts. When it comes to obedience, we never ask anyone to do something that is against their conscience. Never. Or the Word of God. But some can stretch that to cover their own personal comforts and preferences.

From the beginning, this particular soul wanted us to move out of our very poor adobe house into a much larger facility. I actually thought it was a joke and laughed. It's still very funny to me. It really is.

But then I found out they were dead serious!

Jesus did not make religion an institution; He made it an extended family, which is something really alien to the Church these days, at least in America where Christianity is BIG Business, well-groomed and establishment-oriented.

Oh dear, this is so far from what our Lord wanted, loved ones.

Perhaps I was given the name Clare at my profession because Clare was, among other traits, stubborn and true to the rule. The Popes tried to talk her out of one of the vows St. Francis had received from her. And she, on her death bed, withstood until two Popes had passed, until her rule was approved.

In any case. In my heart, I knew what the Lord wanted, and I was not departing from it.

So, we parted company over this and some other things that should never be said in a place of brotherly love.

Well, our dear friend, I noticed, left a serving tray behind and I thought nothing of it at the time, except to return it. But then yesterday, I discovered he also left his big heavy winter coat behind. That began to tug at my mind... Is there something more than I am recognizing?

So, I asked myself, what is a tray used for, "Serving, of course."

What is a coat used for? "Covering, protection from the elements."

This was the done by the Holy Spirit, not by man. And I realized that these two things: Service and Covering - had been lost. And we'd all lost, really.

My dear ones, please pray for our friend. He is in the midst of discernment now. One of our strongest prophetic voices had prayed and fasted for him and discovered some demonic oppression. So, we are all praying it will leave.

Of course, any time I publish anything, our enemies will jump on it with glee. But our angels are waiting for them. I though you needed to know this.

So, pray for a positive outcome, please.

Today, the Lord Supper readings were, "Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings, who makes the flesh his strength and turns his heart from the LORD. He will be like a shrub in the desert; he will not see when prosperity comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is Him. He will be like a tree planted by the waters that sends out its roots toward the stream. It does not fear when the heat comes, and its leaves are always green. It will not worry in a year of drought or cease producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:5-8

The Lord bless you, Sweet Family. I love you all so much.