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June 15, 2019

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for turning a woe into a wonderment!

That was a message that Lana Vawser had received in February, I believe. And someone brought it up and sent it to me just before this incident happened. This is good news!

My dearest family, I am so happy to tell you, that thanks to your prayers we have had a breakthrough. God has seen the plight of His little ones and sent others to rescue us in our dire need.

The land owners have been unyielding, so far. In fact, they have even blocked a work-around to meet up with our road that we had discovered. And as a result, we had to go 10 miles out of our way and 5 miles of that was really scenic in Santa Barbara canyon... but we had to creep and crawl over the bumps and rocks in our 'city' truck, which now is all scratched up on the side. But it has 4-wheel drive. And strong tires.

Finally, after an exhausting 45-minute ordeal where every muscle in my body was strung tight, we made it to the Refuge road. Then the fun began. The spring snow melt is still making two places that are in deep shade, that are impossible to pass without chains. And we didn't have chains. That part of the road will be fixed when we can get a bulldozer back there. Which, of course, depends on the gate being opened. But right now, that option is closed to us, temporarily.

I haven't really explained to you, I don't think. That this road is steep at 8,600 feet and almost, just shy of, being impossible for me to climb. My left knee is shot, and I'm 40 pounds over weight. Plus, on a normal day, my oxygen level is about 82%. This logging road has very deep ruts that are slippery and very steep. I can take exactly 3 to 5 steps forward without falling. And then I have to stop for another four minutes to catch my breath. It is a monumental undertaking to walk up the entire quarter of a mile to the clearing where our little family is camped, and the Refuge building is.

As we were picking our way carefully around the muddy ruts to unload the truck for our family that is now living up there in a tent, we heard four-wheelers coming up the road. I turned to Nana and said, "Pray!" Because I assumed it was the local gun-toting neighbors.

Well, what a surprise the Lord had for us all!!

Three men came up the muddy road and stopped. They turned out to be really friendly and had been helping our little family get all their things up the road! 'Cause what we had done last time was to take everything there. But since we couldn't carry everything, including a generator and a lot of food and tents and, oh my goodness! We left it on the side of that road, and they would go down when they could and grab a load and come back up. And then later, go down again. There were still a few things that were still sitting by the side of the road.

But we couldn't believe our ears! These men were actually smiling and shaking our hands and introducing themselves.

You see, they had already discovered our little family and the problems they were having, getting things up that road. So, they and their four-wheelers went down and took things on their four-wheelers and brought them back up to the family. That was so sweet!

As we thanked them profusely for helping, they asked about the gate at the bottom of the hill. Yeah... It turns out they, too, had had issues with these men who have blocked our way in. They blocked these old-time residents from using their access road to the forest, as well.

To make a long story short, the gate in their way was taken down. So, now we have a polite way to get help without taking them to court.

One of the men was a NM State Police area commander for search and rescue. And they were acquainting a new officer with the area we live in. He also told me about another approach that was shorter.

I can't tell you how joyful we were that these men were actually friendly and inviting and helpful! Nana kept saying "Shut Up!!! Oh Jesus, thank you!!! Really, Lord? Oh shut Up!!! I can't believe it, shut up!!" I don't know if these guys knew that she was saying this in positive exclamation...they kind of had white hair and had lived there all their lives. Country boys, you know? But I'm sure they understood it was a good thing, 'cause she was smiling when she said it.

After all these weeks of being hated and rejected and blocked from going to our home, I was overjoyed. Lana Vawser had just put out a message. Actually, she put it out in February, 'From Woes to Wonders," and this was certainly a confirmation of that.

I had been thinking about renting a house as a base camp and a midway point from Taos for people who come to visit. Something very poor and Franciscan. One of the men said, "I have two houses. They are very beat up, they're old. The bathroom doesn't work. They are run down, but I will rent one to you for $200 a month if you can fix it up." Well, I have to seek the Lord about that. I think I got Money and the World, so it's like, "I've got one handful - that's' enough. Two handfuls chasing the wind is too much." But I was thinking of people that might come up and want to visit, but they couldn't camp out.

So, just the fact that someone was nice to us, did so much for our morale. And for our little family, as well.

Dear ones, your prayers are being answered in another area, too. I don't feel rancor or resentment against the men who have chosen to make our lives close to impossible. I understand they are trying to preserve their way of life for the next generation. Although, I wonder if their children want to live that way or go to a University and get a higher education.

In any case, Nana and I have gotten over our resentment, the rancor and the pains of rejection. As well as our judgment. After all, this is a spiritual war. In fact, the other night she had prayed passionately over the gate, and she woke up in the middle of the night with three dark figures surrounding her, who had apparently paralyzed her. Because she couldn't speak. She finally got out "Jesus!!" and they all disappeared. And believe it or not, they were kneeling around her bed with their hands folded in prayer. Just like Christians do.

Lord, thank You for the encouragement and making a way where there was no way. As you know, it is a desperate struggle for me to climb that road and not having a four-wheeler, there is no other way to get up there. The State Police officer said I should get a four-wheeler, we could pick one up fairly cheap on Craig's list. I have to ask the Lord's permission, but the problem is, the money that we have, we need to build the hermitages. As soon as we can get the bulldozer in there, the road will be corrected to some degree, it will be fixed. But not permanently. But until then, it is just so very hard.

When Jesus first gave me the mandate to build the Refuge, I told Him, "Lord, I do not want to sacrifice the almsgiving money for this. Please make another way." He's honored that, and we're still able to give to the rescue missions for prostitutes and the children that have been put to work from the streets.

Jesus began, "Clare, My dearest. I have seen your struggles and help is on the way. Those who have been against you will be as nothing in the future. This is the time for spiritual warfare and the tearing down of strongholds. And as such, you must persevere, My loved one. You have done the right thing by coming to Me and asking that My Body and Blood would make up for all your weaknesses. And they are many, as you can see."

Yeah, oh Family, I just curled up into a little ball and cried this afternoon, "Jesus! I'm too little! Help me." Yes! I was looking at myself naked and vulnerable, weak and fragmented by so many responsibilities. And I know that when I am at my weakest, He is at His strongest, through me.

Nonetheless, the responsibilities of taking care of everyone is monumental. Family, please don't forget Heart Dwellers in your donations. This is the time of year when everyone goes on vacation, and they forget to help the ministers who work so hard to provide them with the Lord's wisdom for that season. So, remember us, please.

And another need has come up. But this one, I think, is a little more simple. We need workers. We need strong and healthy young men and women who are willing to roll their sleeves up, camp out, clean up and help build the hermitages. These are really short projects, about 2 weeks to build one hermitage. But we need five.

So, if you are willing to help through the summer, please send an email to And I will answer you as quickly as possible. I need you NOW! So, if you can come, please do.

Jesus continued, "My little one, I have already put it on the hearts of several on the Channel to spend their summer helping Me with this endeavor. It is up to them to respond. Continue with your prayers to send laborers.

"What pleases Me, Clare, is that you recognized the enemy's tactic to break your union with Me.

"My sweet Family, this is the greatest danger in any undertaking from Me. There will be setbacks and opposition. And I must watch to see if you handle these things in My Spirit or in your flesh. The enemy has set many traps for Mother Clare. And those who come to the Refuge, some of you who are called will not make it this year. But you may have another chance. It is quite a commitment to leave your worldly security for a life of unknowns. But for those who do, spiritual blessings will abound, and you will move forward with Me further than you have ever gone.

"Those who have much will be weighed down by their hard-earned possessions and a sense false sense security. Do you remember the young man who answered Me?"

Now when Jesus saw a crowd around Him, He gave orders to depart to the other side of the sea. Then a scribe came and said to Him, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go." Jesus said to him, "The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." Another of the disciples said to Him, "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father." But Jesus said to him, "Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead." Matt. 8:18-22

And here I would like to add, that He wasn't just talking about his father was dying and they were going to have a funeral. He was talking about hanging around until his father died and the will was settled. So, it wasn't a matter for him of wanting to go to the funeral. It was a matter of wanting to be around when the inheritances were given. At least, that's my take on it. And I've known people from various cultures that have delayed going out, because they couldn't find anyone to take care of their mother. And so, they sacrificed the life they could have led for God, because their mother needed to be taken care of. And this is a trap that can be easily set with false Guilt and manipulation. And at the same time, the Lord is calling you for souls that are totally lost and have no-one to teach them the Gospel. The best solution is to find a good and secure place for Mom, and then go and do the Lord's bidding. He loves your mother more than you could ever love your mother. And He will take care of her.

"I am compassionate and merciful. I do not fault you if you feel you cannot leave your present life. There are some among you who are not called and still want to come. Your day will come. Be patient. But for now, you are bearing so much fruit that you will rejoice over it in eternity. I am bringing you into maturity with Me, even though you lead a secular life.

"Those whom I am calling have been feeling for a very long time the need to leave off with the world. I also honor your love and concern for those who are reliant on you, so I will help you make a way.

"However, others who are held down by worldly concerns, and opposition from relatives, you will lose much by not responding. Mother Clare did not respond the first time. But she did the second time. And each invitation is not always the same. She was called to Holland but did not go for fear of alienating her in-laws. The next call was here in the States and she responded with all her heart.

"Understand My dearly loved ones, a life of full-time devotion to Me has a very high cost. The world and all its allurements and false sense of security has held you back from your spiritual destiny. So, you must wrestle with your heart and discover what you truly want in this world.

"Do you want to live your next ten years in the status quo? Or do you want to take all the risks and follow Me?

"No matter what you do, I will love you all the same. I will be with you, because you are Mine. And I will lead you into all holiness as I work with your free will. So, do not grow sorrowful. You are the love of My heart, and I will never forsake you. Each day I arrange your lessons and we dwell together, My heart is overjoyed that you care enough to make time for Me.

"The lessons learned at the hermitage are some of the very same things you struggle with day after day. What is different is that you have to handle worldly affairs at the very same time, so your load is much heavier.

"This year I am calling a core group together, but next year there will be more opportunities."

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of that. We only have space for a very few. If too many came, what would I do?

He continued, "Beloved I am not going to tell you everything. I love surprises! But rest assured, I will never give you more than you and I can handle together."

Wow! The sky's the limit on that one.

Well family, that's the current update from the Lord. And I think the lesson from this is that God is faithful to the little ones who have no recourse. And if you are struggling with those who hate or oppose you, do not allow rancor and bitterness to enter your heart. Don't brood over things, but quickly dispatch them with love and blessing. Don't judge them. Rather, pray for them. They may have very good motives for doing what they're doing.

The lesson is not in accomplishing the work, no matter what. Rather, it is in staying in close union and loving your brother, no matter how much harm he has done to you.

I want to thank those of you who have been so generous and faithful in donating. And I must ask your forgiveness, because I have beautiful cards on my desk I have not acknowledged yet, or even read. But I am fighting to lay down all these other tasks to do just that. I do love to hear from you. Your hearts are so sweet, and it is very encouraging to be in touch. And I bet you're frustrated that I haven't answered you. And I apologize. I'm so sorry for that.

God bless you, my dear ones. Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your path straight. God bless.