What to Do When it Just Doesn't Feel Right

June 25, 2019

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for giving me the courage to stop, wait, and listen more carefully to You. Please give this grace to all your people. Amen.

Well, dear Family, I must confess to you that I still have not learned how to move in the spirit as I should. After having prepared the road to the Refuge, I was eager to set out and begin the foundation for the first hermitage today. Everything was prepared. Cement bags going up the mountain, helpers were there--and it was a beautiful day. Just perfect for digging the foundation.

But when I awoke, something felt "off."

I had a check in my spirit... or you might say in my gut. I had an uneasy feeling. It was the same feeling I had when I married the wrong man. The same feeling when I and Ezekiel were going to fly to Germany 18 years ago and 9/11 happened as we were making arrangements. It's funny, but true. I believe we have more brain cells in our gut than in our brains! And every time I've ignored that gut feeling, things did not go well.

So, the first thing we did was ask the Lord if we should go up to the mountain today, and I got some very bad readings. Immediately, I called everyone who was getting prepared and on their way. One person, who is a Christian, said to me, "It's funny that you cancelled, because I had feelings that I shouldn't go up today, as well." Two of our readings were Pride and Prayer.

Another member of the team, who was highly dedicated and really wound up to go, was very quiet over the phone when I called it off. I said, "Are you upset with me?" And they said "I'm not upset. I just feel like I was in overdrive and got shifted into reverse--and the transmission dropped..."

Wow. Yeah, I know the feeling...

I felt more than a little lost as well, and immediately recognized my pride in eagerly moving things forward, and to checking with the Lord first. Because I felt we just needed to keep going.

How do you tell when you are being proud--and when you are persevering?? That's a very good question.

So, I called the core group together and we prayed in the spirit for a long time. These are wise, seasoned souls who have only the Lord's interests at heart and are not intimidated by what reaction I might have--or anyone might have, for that matter. They are honest and belong totally to Jesus. With their help and input, after prayer I realized my heart was not united with the Lord's the way it should be.

And it scared me! I thought, 'Oh my gosh, is this Refuge just a big hoax? Or what?' It really threw me for a minute.

This is truly a set-up! You are given a date like, 5 hermitages by September. So you launch out to accomplish that...with your logical mind. But I was again leaving the Lord behind. His concern is for the souls that live around that mountain, as much as it is for the world we will be praying for up there. And those souls eye us with suspicion and distrust. they don't like us! And Jesus wants us to address that issue first. That is our focus, no matter how long it takes. His focus is on loving them and meeting their needs.

Oh, how difficult it is, dear ones, to overcome rejection! But with God all things are possible.

So, we stayed home and prayed and came to the conclusion that we must be little Christs to these people. We must bring them His love and concern for their welfare. And now we are waiting on the Lord on exactly how He wants to go about this.

Jesus, do You some counsel for us? I truly am lost in the midst of this turbulence.

Jesus began, "My Darling Clare, your zeal to fulfill My desires is admirable. But you must learn to wait on Me and seek the spiritual side of things before moving forward in the physical. I had told you once before, that if you had prepared the ground for this move by acts of kindness and prayer, things would have gone much differently. You are still thinking in fleshly ways.

"You remember the example of Marilyn Hickey, that did nothing but pray for all the countries in the Middle East for decades, because I told her to? Yes, I put it on her heart to pray for them every day. And she recognized My voice and she was obedient. And what was the result? When I sent her to each country in her old age, there were massive conversions at every meeting.

"Prayer comes first, My Clare. Prayer comes first. This is a very important lesson for all Heartdwellers: saturate the ground with tears of love, repentance, and cries for conversion. Then you may step forward and meet with success.

"My Love you must water the soil. All great works come after preparing and watering the soil. Then the seeds that are planted immediately take root. And they flourish! I am with you, My Clare, and you will see results when you do it My way.

"This is a common problem, not just with all people, but especially ministers. In their zeal to see My will done, they lunge forward without seeking Me on how to do it.

"They call in the experts, buy into the programs and P. R. campaigns, and use the logic of men, rather than My wisdom on how to accomplish My goal. Pride is at the very core of this thinking, whereas Love is the at the core of My thinking.

"My children, do not launch out into life-changing directions until you feel secure in My approval and My way of doing things. You will save yourself many heartaches by approaching the challenges in life this way. So much is done in haste, and later must be done over again, correctly. Or opportunities for correction never come. I would save you the heartaches caused by your own thinking if only you would wait on Me."

And you know, guys. I have been waiting on Him, day after day. But I've been kind of bland in prayer, and I've had worship and I have been waiting on Him. But I don't think I've waited on Him long enough. Sometimes it takes a whole lot more time for things to get settled. And I should have waited until I had a very secure sense of what he wanted me to do next.

Jesus continued, "When we are together in prayer, dwelling in sweet communion, I impart to you My deepest thoughts and desires. It is in the stillness of your hearts that I speak with you and infuse My delight into your circumstances. I wish for you to awaken tenderly to My most subtle thoughts and implement them in your actions.

"So very often the push to get something visible done overshadows these gentle inspirations of Mine. Always beware of Time and how the enemy might tempt you to cut corners, or be disordered in order to accomplish your ends. He most often works through haste and fear. And if you are watching very carefully the movements of your hearts, you will see right through that and not act on it.

"Clare, you have come to Me so sincerely, asking Me to do this My way. So, I am honoring the desire of your heart through circumstances and delays. But I am also cultivating in you a deeper level of patience and sense of order, so you do not overlook what is most important to Me in any given situation."

I am so sorry, Lord. Please forgive me.

Jesus continued, "Let this be a lesson to all of you, My Heartdwellers. Truly, when productivity takes over and a sense of love and charity is overshadowed, back up and go to that sweet space where we conceived this child together. This will give Me the opportunity to make minor and major course corrections, so Our destination is arrived at joyfully and peacefully.

"Do not for one second doubt that this Refuge is not from Me. This is another tactic of the evil ones when problems or course corrections must take place. You begin to question the whole project. No, don't go there. This is My Heart's desire, and I am working with you, My Love, to bring it about.

"Heartdwellers, these lessons from the hermitage are life lessons that will benefit everything you do. I will bless and multiply you, dear ones. I will care for you tenderly and visit you with My many graces. So much is waiting in the wings of Heaven to bring you closer to Me and equip you to realize your heart's desires.

"I am with you. I love you. I am for you, protecting you and raising you up to a new level of holiness. Bear with Me, My Bride. So much good is coming to you. Persevere and you will overcome all your personal obstacles, as well as those things that loom on the outside. No weapon formed against you will prosper, because you have waited on Me and done it My way."