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September 28, 2019

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for showing me the ways in which I grieve You. Dear Lord, I hate my faults and ask You to help me change. Amen.

Dearest Heartdwellers, the Lord protects us from so many things. So many curses from so many different covens. But once in a while, He allows a curse to land, so that we will stop, pay attention, and examine our actions and repent.

And so, my heart is heavy with repentance tonight, because I deprived the poor of my usual donations to them. And this greatly displeased the Lord.

I remember when we embarked on this project of building 5 hermitages. I remember, I said to myself (or perhaps it was the Holy Spirit saying to me,) "I will not deprive those in need to build this project, for that would be ill-gotten gain."

But in my haste to get things done, and possibly motivated by fear, I have done just that. I cut back on giving by 50% and deprived the poor. I feel terrible about what I have done, and tomorrow I am going to strip us down to the bare bones to try and repair the damage as best as I can.

It all began when the Lord kept giving my husband, Ezekiel, readings on money and honesty and ill-gotten gain. He was giving those to me, too. And we thought, 'What? Have we got someone pilfering money out of the ministry? Or what?'

No. That's not it at all....

Well, we pondered these things for days and could not figure out what He was talking about. Well, things came to a head when I got very sick with some intestinal distress and almost was transported to the hospital. That event really got my attention. This was the same kind of suffering that Ezekiel goes through--and it was horrendous. But I didn't know what it was from. If it was food poisoning or what. All I knew was that I must have opened the door through sin, but was unsure of what the sin was. But in His usual Faithfulness, finally my heart bore witness to my greed when I did not give the charities what we usually support them with. I knew I had let the Lord down with the money He entrusted to me.

Then, one of our brothers had an unpleasant encounter in our truck with a tree coming down the mountain. I looked at the damage. The entire right side of the trunk was dented and gouged, and the front door wouldn't open and was bent. And the passenger window was broken out. I thought about the cost of fixing that and I realized, 'That's going to cost just about what I held back from giving to the poor.'

Dear ones, don't ever be stingy with the poor. Their hearts cry out to God when they do not have all they need, and He hears and looks at those who are sitting down to a rich table, that were stingy and didn't give, because of some personal pet project.

And there were other things. Books that I'd got for formation, that I purchased that just should have waited. This is not an excuse, but an aside just to let you know that is very important, when you go to the Lord for a Rhema, you shouldn't just use the Bible or the Bible Promise book. Rather, you should also have a few holy books from the Saints. Like the "Life of St. Therese", or "Little Flowers" from St. Francis. You should have those to give you examples of holiness in action.

I am building a very small library for those on the mountain and visitors who come for advice and counsel. But I really shouldn't be doing that now. It is not necessary. But food for the poor and housing for prostitutes who want to escape this terrible lifestyle IS timely and IS important.

So, I ask you all to please, please forgive me for being a very bad example. And please pray the Lord will change my selfish heart.

Lord, did You have anything to add?

Jesus began, "Clare, My dearest. I forgive you. And you will do better, much better in the future."

At that point, I started crying. Because He was so sweet, and I felt so bad about what I did.

He continued, "Please, please try to understand that I live in the poor and I suffer with the poor when they are in want. When I see you buying extraneous things now, or building materials at the cost of their suffering, I am deeply offended. Please do not do this every again or anymore. Put the poor at the top of your list and learn to wait. Or go without. THIS is pleasing to Me.

"Will you do that for Me?"

Yes, Lord. Help me to be faithful, please. Don't let me brush off the needs of others to satisfy my sense of expediency. Even when motivated by fear.

"And the truth is, when you need those things," Jesus continued. "You will have the resources for them. What you don't have now can wait. Having holy things, Clare, does not make you holier. Love, obedience, charity, sacrifice... those things make you holier.

"You have lost ground and favor by skimping as you have. But I know your heart, and it is aching for those you have deprived. And I have confidence in you, dearest, that you will not do this again.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you, My dear Heartdwellers. You must not ever forget that when you do it for one of the least of these, you have truly done it for Me. I must comfort them when their babies cry of hunger. I must comfort them when they have a broken roof over their heads and their bedding is wet. Please do not let Me down in this, My people. And you will not be numbered with the goats on My left at the judgment."

And this is from Matthew 25, beginning at verse 34. And I've abbreviated it in a few places, but the gist of it is still here.

"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. I was a stranger and you took Me in. I was naked and you clothed Me. Sick and you looked after Me. I was in prison and you visited Me.'

"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink?' And the King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.'

"Then He will say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not take Me in. I was naked and you did not clothe Me. I was sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.'

"And the wicked, too, will reply, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked? Sick or in prison and did not minister to You?' Then the King will answer, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.'"

Jesus continued, "My dearly loved ones, have I not made it clear enough for you? I do not wish to see you banished with the goats, so I am again warning you. Do not withhold good from others when it is in your power to ease their suffering. Rather, have eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to help and a healthy conscience from which to give to those in need, that I may hear their laughter and joy when they sit at table and celebrate My kindness through the abundance I have entrusted to you.

"Be good, even as My Father in Heaven is good. Then all men will celebrate My Love for them and the Kingdom will grow. Pray for wisdom on what to give, when, and I will touch your hearts at the appropriate time.

"Blessed are you who consider the poor; great will be the riches of My Love dwelling in you, for you have done My will, even with your widow's mite.

"Go now, My people, and be generous to the poor. I am coming soon."