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February 1, 2015
Welcome, YouTube family, to our Still Small Voice channel. And the blessing of the Lord and His sweet presence be with you. I want to share a journal entry that I made yesterday in the hopes that if you are experiencing condemnation, it will bring you some relief. After I finished a teaching that included the mention of prayer, I thought I came under conviction that my prayers aren't deep enough. Well, in fact, not only did I think they're not deep enough, but I'm a shallow, uncaring, and lazy person because I rarely go into travail. And I certainly have no business teaching on that subject. These thoughts brought me to my knees in prayer, and I was so very discouraged with myself. So, in my worship time, the Lord Jesus stopped me and took me aside for counsel I badly needed.
Oh, Jesus, I want to be better. I'm not at all satisfied or happy with myself. I feel like I'm so shallow and uncaring. At that point I was crying.
The Lord began, "First of all, I want you to stop beating yourself up! And no pity-parties, please".
Jesus, I just don't know what to think.
"You are under attack from the enemy, that's what you should be thinking.
But You've allowed it.
"Humility does come at a cost."
Oh, Lord, I don't care if I'm under attack as long as what is said about me isn't true. If it is, I want to repent, I want to change.
"Well, it's NOT true. You're not shallow and uncaring, you're not."
Well, today, when I was asked to pray for the lady with a serious domestic situation going on, I DID pray, but I didn't have a heavy, heavy burden. I didn't go into travail, even thought the situation definitely called for intense prayer. And I thought to myself, 'What's the matter with me, why can't I do that?' And then only a few minutes later, I got into a difficult situation with what I was recording, the music, and THEN the passion for the prayer came out. So here I am, getting really upset and emotional, and ALMOST going into travail over a problem I am having on a new song, but not for someone who's in a serious situation. And that looks to me like I am being shallow."
Well, He stopped me at that point and He said, "And the song?"
Oh, well, the song is to give hope to the suffering soul.
"And you're telling me you're uncaring?"
I don't understand, I don't feel a deep burden for their situation and I think I should. This is what I'm confused about. Jesus, I want to be like You and care for ALL souls, deeply. Please instruct me.
"You put way too much emphasis on your feelings. Look at what you're doing. You cannot expect to be like Me 100% of the time. Yes, I will give you burdens, but I cannot guarantee you will be burdened for ALL."
But, Lord, YOU are. And I have witnessed different Christians who easily fell into travail, for people they didn't even know.
He continued: "When I send you people, I send you burdens. Burdens that you carry in your heart. And may I say you're not fully aware of what is going on in your spirit. That is a privilege few attain to."
I'd LIKE to be there. I've thought many times how much I'd love to know what is going on in my spirit.
"Well, that's a state in Heaven. THEN you will be aware. But on this Earth, it's better for you NOT to be there. Not just yet, anyway." He looked at me with such compassion.
"Oh, Clare, just follow me one step at a time and you'll get there. Don't concern yourself with your own sanctity, that's a trap. Don't fall into it. Only God can mold the soul and sanctify them. And what I do, no other creature can replicate. They simply don't have the foresight or wisdom, let alone the ability to execute it. So calm yourself, My Precious, don't put your eyes on things far beyond you, just keep them here, on Me and My heart. And My love will do ALL the rest. You don't have to worry about your own sanctity, I've already got that covered.
"Now about prayer... Yes, prayer. You see there are burdens given; you cannot manufacture a burden. You can predispose yourself to receiving and carrying a burden, but not creating it. That is something that is strictly supernatural from Heaven, a gift. I hand it to you when it is appropriate for you, but you can exercise great compassion and understanding for the sufferings of others, then bring them here to Me, My mailbox, My heart."
'Lord, would you give me a vision of your mailbox heart?' Just then, I saw a slit in the top of his heart and light was emanating from it. He placed the forefinger of His right hand right at its edge. "Right here, My Beloved, right here."
But aren't our prayers supposed to ascend to Heaven as incense?
"And where do you think that little slot leads to?"
Oh, I get it.
"I want you to dispose of these prayers right here into my heart, fully expecting Me to bring it to a conclusion, and resolution, without further concern on your part. That is called, 'faith'."
Yes, I remember a Catholic nun, Mother Angelica. She was about to leave for an unexpected crisis. And a woman who'd arrived for an appointment shared her very tragic pending divorce. When the woman left, Mother Angelica was still caught up in the crisis at the monastery, so she turned to You, Lord, and said, "Oh, Lord, please just take care of it for her", and then bolted out the door for her crisis resolution meeting. Several weeks later, the woman came back to see Mother Angelica, but this time holding a check for $25,000 to donate to her TV station. She said to her, "You don't remember me, do you?" Angelica replied, "No, I don't". And the lady said, "I am the woman who came to you in tears over my husband leaving me, and after you prayed for me, the whole thing turned around. It was a real miracle."
So that's just the gist of it, I may have gotten some of the details wrong. But boy, she had faith! So, all she said in her prayer was, "Oh, Lord, just take care of it".
"And I did, didn't I? So you see it's not always about travail. Confidence. Confidence in Me, and My ability to act on behalf of My Beautiful Bride who truly does carry burdens in her heart for others. So are we straight on this? Because I want you to walk away from this, our time, with the assurance that everything you're doing is pleasing to Me. And that your prayers are effective, even when you just blurt them out. Your confidence in ME, My Bride, puts an obligation on Me to act according to your petitions. The greater the confidence, the greater My response. Can you rest in this?"
I am inhaling it, Lord. So what do You want me to teach on? It's been so long since You spoke to Your Bride through me, I feel that we need to hear from You. I wanted to do something on prayer, but I became afraid that I would discourage people from taking on burdens and from travailing prayer, which I feel woefully short on.
"I haven't yet convinced you that the burden comes from Me?"
Well, I guess I'm not quite convinced. What if You're allowing a lying spirit?
"Why would I do that, My Love, when I have come to vanquish your fears?"
That's true, that's not Your character. Especially, knowing I'll pass it on to others. But I don't feel sure of myself in this area, Lord, I don't feel sure that I have Your heart and mind.
"Well, I should have just cleared that up for you. My love, there are those who are called to travail, and it's a wonderful calling. Your husband spoke My wisdom when he talked about everyone having a unique calling, a certain job. Not all can, or should, travail. Or nothing else would get done."
Yes, but prayer is what gets things done, Lord. More prayer would yield more results.
"I cannot argue with you there, but again, I want you to consider that emotions are not necessarily the value of your prayers. A pure heart is first and foremost in importance, and accompanied by love for your brother and sister, and a lack of judgment. These are the things that get My attention. Pray unselfishly for those who are hurting, lonely, confused, and giving up on life. These are powerful prayers that I, indeed, will answer. You don't have to accompany them with tears, Clare, tears is a gift. The Gift of Tears. Oh, you are a difficult one."
I'm sorry, Lord.
"Me, too. I have other things for you to do. You know how you reacted to your friend with all his mental knobs and scruples?"
Yes, Lord, I got impatient. Yes, I know.
"Well, here you are the very next day doing the exact same thing with your God. Not just a messenger, but the God who SENDS messengers. Oh, you are a hard case!"
I giggled at that, and He laughed. And He said, "Are you satisfied now? Have we beaten this poor dead horse enough?"
I think so, Lord. Your little obtuse Bride finally got it. And you WILL be seeing petitions in that slot.
"I love you, Clare. Rest your heart and mind now, for others."
End of the message.
I just wanted to share this with you, YouTube family. You can see how ditzy I can get, and the Lord has to be very patient with me. Of course, He's got endless patience. I think the heart of the message really answers some questions about what constitutes REAL prayer. It's the act of faith, and the confidence that we have in the Lord that is what makes it powerful and gets His attention.
It's not about getting all emotional and crying and wearing yourself out. But if that's the burden you've been given by the Lord, that's a wonderful thing. But if that's NOT the burden you've been given by the Lord, please don't beat yourself up like I did. The Lord bless you. Thank you for listening.