Tethered to Corruption

April 10, 2022

Well, I have to give you a little background on this, family, because it is not immediately clear what actually took place, but last night I was a naughty girl, I wanted a Passion image to meditate on. And so, I went looking on Etsy and I found one that I liked, a crucifix that I really liked.

Well, I spend way too much time looking around for things that pertain to the Passion, because on my heart I just really wanted to be inspired to really enter into the Lord's Passion, which is so, so important , but I wanted to do it MY way , and I had a feeling when I was searching for three hours on Etsy that it was not exactly the best thing I could be doing with my time , you know maybe like the Lord was waiting for me to come into prayer ,because I- I broke from prayer to find an image.

And so, I was feeling semi-guilty trying to keep it down but something in me just did not feel right. So, I found what I thought I wanted, I ordered it and this morning I had buyers' remorse, mostly because I wasted time and because I knew the Lord did not want me to have it. So, we had to cancel the order and get back down to Earth. So, I am still dealing with avarice and self- will, but this is how the conversation with the Lord went:

I said, Lord, it is a real disappointment!

He answered me, "Would you rather be disappointed or disappoint Me when I have something better for you? When I immersed you in My Passion it was not the crucifix that did it, it was My Spirit that gave you the gift. You can have it your way or My way, but you cannot have both."

And He was referring to the time earlier on in my conversion when He really, really immersed me in His Passion. I understand that Lord and I would rather have it Your way, will you please forgive me?

He said, "You are struggling, when the struggle is over and with all your heart you renounce your own will, yes, then I will forgive you.

"My dearest, abandon your will and you will have all of Me. Continue to hold on to these things and you will have your will."

And I said, Yeah, I know, I know that is very clear to me, very clear.

Then He said, "In the past, I indulged you, now it is time to leave those things behind. They are only helps to draw closer to Me, but if they hinder intimacy, would you still want them?"

No, no Lord, not if they are impediments.

He said, "They are. Why should I give you the grace of repentance if you have not renounced your will? It will not do you any good until you do. I want to move upwards with you, do still want to remain Earth bound? Tethered to corruption?"

Well, I do not see it that way, Lord, but I want to. I want to see it that way. I see them as helps, a sacramental to draw me deeper into prayer.

And in the background, they were just saying He was transformed on the Mount of Olives. That was the mystery of the Rosary about which they were talking.

"My Beloved Bride I want to give you the real thing and you are still focused on the ladder. Once one climbs the ladder there is no more need for it. You are climbing the ladder.

"Do you still want to focus on what was down there on Earth?"

Lord, please speak to my heart in a way that I can receive it, please. Is it wrong for me to have an image that inspires me? I know You understand my struggle.

He continued, "I certainly do, it has been life long, even when you thought it was gone, it was only looming beneath the surface of the water, the black panther. You remember in the dream you did not know whether it was gone or not, it was not gone, only waiting for a better opportunity to bring you down."

And what He is talking about is a dream I had thirty years ago; where I was at our summer house on a lake in Wisconsin swimming when suddenly a black panther emerged from under the water and came after me. At that point I entered into a life and death struggle with this strong creature. Sometimes it went down, then it came back up, sometimes I went down, went under, and did not think I could make it back up to get a breath. The panther had overcome me, yet I did make it up for air and held the panther down underwater. This went on several times for a long time in the dream. Finally, the panther did not surface again. However, I was not convinced that it was dead.

And interestingly enough the Blessed Mother, when the Lord has taken me to Heaven there is an island where the Blessed Mother is, and she was on the island and she had a black panther next to her, sitting very peacefully next to her, watching us coming in, as we were coming in to the dock, and I think the symbol of that is the secret of the struggle is probably to come to her and her pray for me that I can let go of it because she has tamed the black panther, it is sitting there peacefully, you know? I have not tamed that panther at all. However, I was not convinced that it was dead.

The Lord answered, "It was not dead. And now in the time of your life when you must give a good example, it has surfaced to take you and everyone else down with it. What are we going to do about it?"

Lord, I make an act of the will, I WANT IT GONE. And yet, a part of me still wants a holy image.

He continued, "Did you think you could eradicate this vice all in one day? It has been stalking you and making inroads for decades, and all in one fell swoop you want it gone?"

I answered Him, Yes!

"Very well then, we have some work to do. To put it simply it must go or else."

Now that 'else 'is a thought- Being able to stay for the Rapture or being taken early, because I am a bad example to the community. I do not to be that way, I cannot help it, though, it is just me. I am trying to overcome all those faults. And then I asked Him, Can I paint the crucifix? And I went to the Bible Promises and I got Success.

And I said, Lord, I do not want to shortchange my time with You or music. And that is- when you are attached to something that you really want, the enemy can slip in his voice to give you permission to get it. And the Lord just quietly stands off and watches you because in your heart you think you know what the answer is going to be, but He gives you over to a deceiving spirit when you are so attached to something that you have to have it. I do not trust myself to ask the Lord if this is His will or not because it would please me actually to have a crucifix that was painted properly, you know ,that really conveyed the Passion, that would make me really happy, so because that is self- will, you have to be so careful when you discern it because it could lead me off on a rabbit trail.

Lord, I do not want to shortchange my time with You or music.

"Oh," He said, "Would you do it for Me and the community?"

In other words, paint the cross for Him and the community.

And I said, if you willed it I would.

He said, "I will it."

But isn't that a compromise? I still would have an image and aren't you trying to wean me off that desire?

"I am, but I also want you to 'make do' with what you already have. That is the way of your holy father, St. Francis. Make do. Do not lust after the things in the world, rather make do with what is around you."

And then the Scriptures, He gave me are from Matthew 6:11 and 12. And in fact, this is not resolved yet because I do not know if He allowed a familiar spirit at the end of this message or if it was actually Him saying "Yes I do want you to paint it." I am not sure. I am going to go to the core group and we all going to seek the Lord about it and find out. That is what is so nice about having a community and people you can trust. I hope you are enjoying this, guys, because this is how we discern things. I give you a heads up on the struggles sometimes.

Do not worry, do not keep saying "what will we eat or what will we drink?" or "what will we wear?" The people who do not know God are looking for all these things. Your Father in Heaven knows you need all these things. And so, I guess He, you know, He knows that we need these things, and He provides them in His way, not in the way we would jump to doing it, our own way. That is the only Scripture on this page that makes any sense to me, but I am going to give you an update tomorrow because I have got to know from outside of myself, through my husband and through other discerning members of the community if He wants me to spend time on that crucifix, because that will be a chunk of work and I have two other things that need to be worked on, so...

Pray for me guys, that I make the right choice and I hear the Lord clearly and thank you for putting up with me.

Dear family, the Lord is calling us to repentance, this is the season in which he wants to prepare us for the Rapture. So, I can either be tethered to corruption or with God's grace fly free, and with all my heart I want to fly free, but He is going to have to do a major work to get rid of that desire for things. And just now a member of the community stepped forward and they are going to Europe next week to minister, and he told me this message really resonated with him that they were struggling with the very same thing. So, brother, here:

Brother: So yeah, Mother Clare, this is basically the same message the Lord has been giving me and Catherine, we have so many questions on how to prepare, and basically build a ministry that the Lord has specified, He has called us to, He has told us what it is going to look like, so we tried in our own determinism to try and put that together and the Lord really intervened, he got real strong handed with us and in the end it was really rewarding because He explained by allowing the Lord to orchestrate the financing, the guidance, whatever aspect of our ministry- He said if we let Him do it, then He gets to draw closer and reveal who He is, but if we are always getting in His way, we are basically stifling the Lord and preventing Him from manifesting Himself in our lives.

Mother Clare: Not trusting Him?

Brother: So, we can do things in the natural, and we would get by, but I much prefer for the Lord to do things in the supernatural and learn more who He is, because He is- just is really hungry to be our true Father. So, we need to step back and let Him do that, even just today, there is a small miracle which I cannot detail but just a wonderful confirmation that the Lord is a very cheerful and ready Giver, but you have to give Him the timing and the space to do it His way.

Mother Clare: Yes, and you have to let go your own will, and that is the hardest thing, I think, for all of us. When we went to South America, on a mission, we went to Colombia on a mission, we were invited there by a priest and his community. When we went there, all we had were a few things, my kids' homeschooling books and some other things, and we did not have a lot of provision, we did not know how we were going to be supported, but once we got there, everyone cooperated, in fact I had to do a full-length painting and they helped me with that. So, the Lord has always been faithful when He guides, He provides. Amen? All right.