The Frustration and Anger of Waiting for Jesus

June 6, 2015

The Lord's sweetest blessings be with you, Youtube Family.

Well, it's been kind of a frustrating three days for me, waiting for the Lord to speak and really give us a substantial message. I have to admit, I got angry with Him. Frustrated and angry..."the angry Bride"... NOT a pretty sight!

It was hard, you know - several of those days, waiting 8 hours and nothing would...no message, nothing would come up. And I felt for you, because I thought - well, you guys would be looking forward to a message from the Lord and I really don't have a lot to share with you. Just a little bit, here and there.

This morning He broke through all of that and He explained some of the reasons why He's been so quiet. So, I'm going to go ahead and begin with the worship that we had, which was beautiful.

It was amazing worship, thanks to our dear friend Elisabeth in Germany, who sent me some music. I was introduced to Freddy Hayler and his amazing anointed songs. Really beautiful! And just listening to the music, the Heavens opened even before worship formally began and the Throne of the Father was before me.

I ran to him like a little 5 year old that hadn't seen her grandpa in months. I just flew into His arms and I stretched my little arms around His neck and just held onto Him for dear life! He held me so tightly and I stretched my little arms around His neck and held onto Him for dear life. I worshipped and worshipped and worshipped. Then Jesus, as always on my right, became visible and I launched into His arms just sobbing and sobbing for having been angry with Him, for being so quiet - today being the fourth day of His silence. I cried for having presumed that I, a mere creature, could pass judgement on God and imagine that I have cause to be angry...oh, the depths of my pride! It rivals Lucifer's. But Jesus is all tender, meek and forgiving, eager to help me understand and repent. He's so amazing.

He began to speak, "It's so easy to be misunderstood. That is why the very first night (of the 3 nights) I told you, be patient."

As an aside on this, you see, this is a fast offering...not hearing from Jesus so others can. We offer up the consolation of hearing from Him and He in turn takes our offering and appears to a Muslim in a dream and the man is converted. Or if you are struggling to hear Him, you may all of a sudden have a breakthrough because of others who are offering up their consolations to Him, or waiting patiently for Him to 'return' to the normal state of communication that we're used to.

So, it IS an offering - a fast offering.

The Lord began this time by saying, on the very first night of these three nights, when He didn't have a lot to say. He told me to be patient.

I'm not good at that...in case you hadn't guessed.

Anyway, He continued, "It's not easy, watching My Bride agonize over My coming, watching other souls on the verge of a critical decision, having to juggle both situations. This is not easy, and I know you, My Bride, are suffering for this. And I need your suffering. Yes, this is a cross and it will only be over when it is over. In the meantime, I sympathize with your suffering, even your anger. I know, I know, I know... oh, how I know how hard this waiting is."

Going back to worship when we began, I spent the first 30 minutes crying and repenting of my anger with the Lord...for leaving us all hanging, without a substantial word every night. I was so angry. He had appeared to me in armor before a stormy sky for the last three days, just as He appears in the illustration of Him holding His Bride in the boat. And it was obvious He had been on the battlefield.

I've been angry for days because He wasn't giving us a teaching and wouldn't let me do one, either. His whole mood has been different: so quiet, close yet pensive and distant, yet soaking up all the love I wanted to lavish on Him. And He being very loving to me.

He began again, "In the midst of this emotional storm, I am praying for your perseverance, Clare. You must be an example, you must keep their hope up and teach them the same lessons of patience I am teaching you.

"Patience. Yes, much patience is necessary right now, much hope and much patience. Don't grow discouraged. Don't grow weary, there are yet many battles to face."

Wow...when He told me that I thought 'Oh, no! Don't tell me we are going to be here longer!!'

He answered me before I finished my sentence, "There can be many battles in a very short time. Like now, you are in a battle for your faith, hope, and perseverance. These are fierce battles. Don't think just because it's calm on the outside it's calm on the inside - you know what you've been going through. So are my other Brides going through many of the same things you are suffering. These apparent contradictions. Even as My apostles did - yet they stood firm to the end, even as you will. So, get up My Bride. Prepare for My coming, but stand strong in the face of the storms which are being leveled against you, in your own sphere. Each in your own way, each of you are in a storm and it's all about faith. Stand, I say, stand. I am with you, but you must be patient...until My coming for you. Would it do any good to say 'soon'? Of course not, but you know by the weather, the storm is in its final stages and you are being groomed for Heaven. What does My Word say, 'When you have done all, stand?' Yes, stand in the face of the raging winds arrayed against you."

Lord, am so sorry for being angry with You.

"I have forgiven you, My Bride. You aren't the only one." He said with a twinkle in His eye as He looked out over the Youtube audience. "Many of My Brides have grown impatient with Me. But, if I did not need your backup, I wouldn't have allowed this suffering. Because you are still with Me, offering your prayers for the lost, I am harvesting much fruit, here in this nation and abroad. You will not know just how productive you have been until you are here with Me.

"So, now I tell you there is but a short way to go, but it's going to get stormy. Stay onboard, don't fall into despair and jump overboard. You have all come so far, the devils are filled with wrath for you who have grown deeply intimate with Me. He will attack this channel, but you stand on the truth you have experienced in your own hearts and do not give way to illusions and clever arguments. Follow your heart and protect what I have sown in it.

"This is why I say things will get stormy, but there is only One whom you have to please... that is Me. So, stand in courage and strength and turn a deaf ear to detractors lest you lose what you have gained for eternal life.

"Time is growing shorter and shorter and shorter, and so you will notice things will be just as they are in the song I gave you, Clare. Yes, that song is prophetic, to give all My Brides a reference point and a firm handle on the flow of events. I admonish you, My Loved ones, songs are not just for entertainment, but they also carry a message of hope to strengthen you when the storm is about to overwhelm you. "I did not impart that song to her that it should gather dust on a shelf. It has important messages for now and after you are gone, for your loved ones. Please revisit it, and leave it behind for others. It is anointed to restore hope to those left behind.

"So, now I have told you a secret: I suffer the wait with you. If I did not need you to be vigilant and waiting, even to the point of frustration and anger...if I did not need that, I would not have required it of you. This IS Simon's cross - will you carry it? I impart the strength and hope now. Receive it into your hearts as you hear these words, carry it with Me, will you?

"I love you all to distraction and I long for those quiet moments when I can draw you to My heart and we can exchange our love...even you, My brothers. Just as John reclined on My heart, I long for you to recline there, drinking in the consolation of Our very pure Love for one another."

SONG: IN THE STORM

When the mountains shake the seas, then You'll come to rescue me,

for Your love will not be shaken in the storm.

When we're shattered to the core, in the dreaded crypt of war,

the hearts of men will fail them in the storm.

With the piercing trumpet's cry, lightening rips through crimson skies,

and all who have been waiting will arise.

Vindication fills the skies, clouds of saints ascend on high,

as the King in all His grandeur takes His Bride.

In the tattered robes of war, those left standing at the Door

will weep in Outer Darkness...in the Storm.

Now this absence of the Light, it will set the lost aright

as they cry aloud for answers...in the Storm.

So despite the bolted Door, be repentant and implore,

for His Mercy will restore you in the Storm.

So trim your lamp, tend to your light. It's not too late to get it right,

He's standing here beside you, take His hand.

For He's coming at an hour...you know not when.