My "Foolish Behavior" & Anger, Jesus called it.

August 13, 2015

Forgive me, Youtube family. It has been an incredible two day, actually three days, and I hadn't been able to spend time with the Lord to GET a message for you yesterday. So, my apologies to you. This is all about my foolishness!! Well, I'm going to buy a clown nose and hat with orange hair sticking out and start wearing it regularly... Because, it seems like my foolishness has no end.

It's been drama central around here for the last 3 days, even though there's been a sweet peace all over the house, and I think thanks to your prayers. But, as we 'wait' on the Lord and move forward with instructions from the property owners where we are living...in my zeal to do as they asked me, I laid a real egg. As you know, we have an 84-year-old homeless woman who's been living with us in the front house for five years, who has a problem with hoarding and 4 tiny peeing-pooping-anywhere dogs. She also has a car in the driveway, which I'll describe in a moment - but the owners wanted the car removed, so the construction crews could begin remodeling on the front house.

Eager as I am to acquire the approval and good will of the owners, who've been so gracious to let us stay here for all these years, I made arrangements with a reputable mechanic to work on her car for five years. After waiting for the tow truck, since we hadn't slept for a day and a half, I made the mistake of leaving my debit card with her - her name is Rae Lynn - asking her to please pay the tow truck with the card when he comes. Then, I went to bed.

Sound asleep, a couple of hours later I here "Clare! Clare!" I got out of bed only to find a rather swarthy looking rough guy, missing a few teeth in front, dirty clothes and very insistent and angry that he couldn't get any money out of my bank account... standing at my door, waving my bank card impatiently, saying, "I need some money up front here! This card didn't work. I couldn't get any money out of the bank." I've never seen this man in my life! I have no idea who he is, and he's fidgeting with the door trying to get in, right on top of it all.

Rae's standing behind him, with these big, saucer, innocent blue eyes! She standing behind him, totally innocent, as if nothing in the world was wrong.

She said, "Yeah, he's got my battery and is charging it."

And I thought, ' I just bought that battery at Walmart and it cost us a fortune! Oh, great, now we're gonna be out a battery, too?'

I said, "Rae, what are you doing? And, who is this man???" as I reached for his hand to retrieve my debit card. She said, "Well, he said he could fix my car."

"But Rae, I told you to wait for the tow truck. We already have an appointment with a mechanic. What were you thinking?"

"Well, I don't know - he said he could fix my car."

By this time, the fellow started getting pretty angry and said, "There's something strange going on here. You people are weird. You're trying to steal her social security money, that's what's going on. Yea, there's really something strange about you."

She won't GET social security - she won't have anything to do with the government, and we've been taking care of her out of our own budget for the past five years. I mean, the Lord has just taken care of her. But this man obviously thinks we're pulling the wool over her, and doing something bad. Like - it's HER money in the bank, and we're withholding it from her!

I asked him where he came from, but he wouldn't give me a clear answer. He told me he was one of the sons of the owners of the local gravel pit locally here. I thought, 'OK...but are you for real or scamming this woman?'

At that point, he said, "I need $200 to get started on her car. I've gotta buy parts." I said to him, "I'm not giving you a PENNY!"

I asked Rae, "Where did this man come from?"

She said, innocently, "I don't know. He just showed up here and said he was going to fix my car."

And, of course, MY mind...being tired, being angry. Judging someone by the way he looked and the way he behaved...my mind just JUMPED to the conclusion that this person was a scam artist that showed up to take advantage of her. We've had a lot of situations like that in our driveway before. Being a food bank, we get to meet all kinds of people. So, I was already falling into judgement at that point.

So, he had a beat up car in the driveway and since he wouldn't leave, I went to get his license plate number.

He said, "Oh, great call the cops on me. I'll tell them something ain't right here, you're taking advantage of this poor old woman."

In the meantime, I asked him to please leave the premises. He kept accusing us of wrong doing and taking Rae aside, and talking to her in whispered tones.

Well, finally, the police came and asked me if we wanted him arrested for trespassing, and we said, "No, just ask him to leave and not to come back."

So, twenty minutes later, the tow truck arrives and begins getting the car in position to tow.

If you can, picture a 19 year old white Lincoln Continental peppered with leaves, and cotton and sap from the trees for the last 5 years, with a collection of clothing, food, empty cans, magazines, newspapers... enough to eat and read for the next year! Piled so high, you can barely see out the windows...and of course little puppy presents. And, that's what got towed off to the garage.

Well, I let out a big sigh of relief when it was towed down the street to the mechanic's. UNTIL... the phone rang thirty minutes later.

The man at the other end said, "Ma'am, I can't get any of my mechanics to work on this car. None of them will go anywhere near it."

I asked about a bonus for the brave man who would?

"No, Ma'am! No way - they ain't comin' within twenty feet of that thing! You'll have to come get it and clean it out before we will work on it."

Great!!!! Now I'm stuck again!!

Moments later, one of our friends of the mission drives up - a really wonderful, steady friend of ours who's always helping, and says, "What in the world happened with Jose?? I sent him over because he's a great mechanic and very reasonable. And, you called the police on him??"

Turns out, I had told our friend we needed a recommendation for a mechanic. Little did I know, HE sent the man on over and I ended up kicking him off the property with a police escort! The Lord had made a provision and we had shut him down, and judged him as a suspicious character!

Well, that's no excuse. We should have been more patient and less suspicious of the man. I ended up sending a note of apology and some money for charging our battery. But, I'm sure the man was very hurt and we'll never see him again.

So, I really blew it!

Then, I went back in the house and checked my phone messages, and our mission friend had left a message that he'd found a mechanic for Rae and was sending him by... He called at 1:00 pm, two hours before the fiasco, but we didn't check the messages before we laid down, so we didn't know.

Here's something really funny. Just a coupe minutes ago, I went in the other room, and I was just prompted to open one of the books I use for a rhema. It's by Laurie Beth Jones, called "Jesus, Inc." and this is what I opened to: The "Shalt Not" Rule. In other words, in other words, something you DON'T DO, you shalt not do this!

It's an acronym for the words: Never make a decision when you are Sad, Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired! That spells out SHALT. Oh, very funny, two days later, I get this rhema??? I was Sad - 'cause of the problems about finding Rae a new home. I probably was hungry, 'cause I couldn't eat. I was definitely angry, because I got woken up - and I was VERY tired! So...I violated the "shalt not" rule - and got myself in deep trouble!

So, I came into worship tonight, very fragmented and begged the Lord to give me a word for you. He said, "Why don't you tell them how foolishly you acted with that mechanic?"

Lord, do I have to tell them every little piece of dirt about me - for Pete's sake. You've got to be kidding??!! Not again....

Oh I should have known...I should have known. So, here is the sad story of the Pharisee looking down on the publican...and running off an innocent man who was going to do a good deed.

OK, Lord I spilled the beans. Do you have anything to add?

And the Lord began speaking, "Never judge a book by its cover...isn't that what people have done to you for 30 years? Never act impatiently, or while you are angry. Cool down and find out the facts. Don't assume anything, no matter how bad it looks. In short, don't react My Love, respond in charity and gentleness.

"I still love you..."

While He was saying that, I'm reminded of James 1:20 For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. And lately, I've had an edge that I deeply regret. I'm sorry, Lord. I do have a temper. I thought I was not that kind of a person, but I'm finding out that I definitely do have a temper. I can make snap decisions that are unrighteous, and that's something that He's really going to have to help me with. I get impatient, and intolerant with people, and that's awful! But, He is helping me. This certainly showed me a large portion of myself I've been missing out on.

He continue after that, "I love you, all My Brides, My very own Body. I wish for you to harness your carnal nature.

Stop. Assess a situation according to the Spirit: 'What is transpiring?' In this way, you will not be guilty of showing contempt for the poor or impatience with the innocent. The enemy is always ready to foment discord and misunderstanding. This is his hallmark.

"When you see and hear discord and misunderstanding, you should stop dead in your tracks and say, 'Okay...there is a demon behind this. Lord, help me discern the truth.' Even if you have to separate yourself from the situation first and take a long look - do that. Don't rush, and use good judgment. You cannot always prevent misunderstandings. In this case, there was already discord and suspicion on the other side. Yet, by My spirit, with patience you will preserve your soul and the souls of others. When you're not affected by that, but you take an objective look at it before it gets out of hand.

"With CERN loosing more evil into the world, every day you will have a new crop of demons out of hell but seemingly coming out of nowhere, to contend with. This requires wisdom and circumspection, taking your time, looking and listening very carefully, consulting Me, praying for wisdom. Then, you shall have the upper hand in all situations, even when they're designed to cause you to fall.

"Beautiful Ones, you are to be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. Then, you will glorify your Father in Heaven and bring the most honor to My Name. Be at peace, but also be on guard lest you be caught in the traps of the enemy.

"I bless you now with Patience and Understanding. Receive it from My Hand and guard it closely. The enemy will try to pry it away from you in a moment of anger."