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November 29, 2015

The mercy and kindness of our sweet Lord Jesus is with us, Heartdwellers.

And I want to share what happened to me this morning. I got up early to pray, and I couldn't believe it: one thing after another kept drawing my attention off of the Lord. I mean, we're talking about that still, quiet time in the morning before daylight! And here I am, getting up just to be with Him, and my mind kept bouncing around from one thing to the next. And I ended up completely fragmented at the end of, I think, it was about two hours.

Different things, I mean something would come into my mind, like 'Oh my goodness, I need to do that.' Then something else would come into mind and I'd think, 'Oh, if I don't do that I'm going to sit here and worry about it!' And then, something else would come up, or Ezekiel would mention something and I'd jump up to do that, and I could not enter in to prayer this morning! It was just...outrageous!

I've never seen anything quite like it, and of course I felt guilty. How could I possibly be so flighty and flaky, knowing that the Lord is there waiting for me? And even catching a glance from Him! As I'm trying to enter into prayer, He's trying to reach for me and completely occupy my heart and mind - and I'm bouncing around like a jack-in-the-box trying to do things that I have no business doing!

So, I finally figured out that prayer is a grace, and right now I need grace, I need the grace of prayer! And finally, finally I settled down. After a little while of worship, He wanted to speak to me. I was still struggling to stay in worship - it was not easy. And I'm talking about, like, three hours later...

So, I said to Him, "Oh Lord, what a day, what a morning. Crazy with interruptions. It's been this way since 6:30 am. I feel so badly that I haven't been able to sit still! You've invited me to come with you to Heaven and it seems like everything that could has drawn my attention away from You. And I LET it! How could I be so shallow as to allow this?"

He began, "I want you to look at this morning as an example to My People. How wonderful it is when you obey Me immediately when I call. But there are times when circumstances molest you and rob you of the freedom to be totally here for Me.

"Do I walk away in disappointment like one who has been stood up? No. That's man's way. Rather I wait for you, I try to help by staving off condemnation, which the demons are all too ready to heap on you for not coming immediately.

"Yes, it is wonderful when you can come immediately, truly a blessing for us both. But when you can't because of duties or interruptions, first and foremost, be patient with others, be meek and kind to those who seem to be interrupting you. Second of all do not resent this interference; it most surely is a test in charity.

"Third of all, do not come under the yoke of condemnation. I see your circumstance and am not condemning you, which would have the opposite would cause you to withdraw even more. No, I wait patiently and help where I can. I show My face to you in little snippets when you return to prayer, only to be called out again. I am quick to affirm you, My Bride, and tell you that I will not leave until we truly have our time together, that is unless the situation overtakes you.

"So many of you, My Dearest ones, are subject to self-hatred and condemnation when you do not perform perfectly, when you are late, when you are distracted or thrown off course. You are brutal with yourselves. Beloved, that does nothing to draw us together, in fact it refocuses your attention on your supposed guilt. Then I must find different ways to convince you how much I Love You."

And that's the amazing part here, guys - He kept giving me these beautiful rhemas: "Come, tuck in under My arm." And other beautiful things that were just lovely! And I was thinking to myself, 'Wow, You must really be patient! Because You're not criticizing me for being so flighty, rather You're telling me those beautiful things that make me want to cleave to You even more. You amaze me, Lord. You truly amaze me.'

"That's because I know you so well. I know you played hooky yesterday and there is a vestige of guilt hanging over your head. However, I am not the one who condemned you for taking your ease. It was well deserved."

Forgive me, guys, I didn't get a message up yesterday.

"I did feel that sentiment from You, Lord. I did feel your grace was giving me leave from my usual duties."

"Yes, well you can bend a bow until it breaks. First and foremost, I want you to show mercy to all. And in order for you to show Mercy, you must first be merciful with your own self. You mustn't be driven...rather do everything from a heart of love. When you cannot feel that love, understand a decision to do it from that perspective will it out of the decision to love, not necessarily accompanied by the sentiment.

"This attitude of heart will keep you from bitterness, judgment and criticism both of yourself and others. It is a mark of true maturity for a soul to recognize its limitations without becoming disheartened or discouraged. Give all that you have, Clare, and it will always be enough, because I meet you at the point where you end off."

I fill in for what you cannot do and My power is made perfect in your weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Many of you grown adults still have your parents hanging on and whispering over your shoulder. In some cases, it is your own memory, but do you know the demons have those recordings, too? Yes, they know precisely what was said to you, and know just how to press those condemnation buttons. A parent's input carries a tremendous amount of psychological weight in your mind. Little do they know that by their very own words they are forming you into what you will become. When they are harsh and perfectionistic, expecting only the highest standards of performance, and you fail...well, it sets up a cycle that continues through your adult years and even into old age - telling you, you are a failure, you fall short, you aren't as good as so and so.

"Oh, how I detest this attitude in parents that destroys initiative and confidence in very little ones who grow up to be insecure and constantly seeking affirmation for their very existence. Do you not know how valuable you are in My sight? Calvary was the price I paid for you, and I would do it again and again and again, if need be, just for one more soul who the world calls a failure. And who became a failure because his parents declared that over him in their constant search for perfection in their offspring. Tragic, oh so very tragic is this brutal way of rearing children.

"But there is hope. Have you been raised under that yoke? Have you been found imperfect at every turn in your life, never measuring up to your parents or favored sibling? I can heal that, Dear one. I can turn your mourning into dancing and remove that stigma from your heart. Cleave to Me, Beloved, and I will show you your great worth in gold and treasure. Yes...don't you know that you are a spark from My Heart, beautiful and enriched in every way? Why, you ask? Because I will perfect that which I began in you. I will present you to My Father, perfect, whole, lacking nothing. Yes, this I will do for you. You have given Me your life and I have given you My Promise. Perfection is your destiny. Not only that, but many gifts I have yet to bestow on you wait in the wings for your readiness.

"Oh, the boundless treasures I hold in store for you! Things you have dreamt and things you would not dare to dream. All are waiting for you as you yield your life more and more to Me. Dare to dream ... for with God, nothing is impossible. Many desires you have long ago given up on were planted in your heart by Me for a future time when I would reward you for a job well done on this Earth.

"Understand, it is not the gifts that determine your estate before Me, but how you use the gifts I entrust to you, that counts. Those who have been given much, much shall be required of them...but those who have been given little and with that done much, greater and greater rewards will be given them.

"So, this is the long way around - saying to you, do your best with what I've given you. Do not let the voices of the past control your future, rather rise up into the full stature of My approval. For you have chosen the better part and I surely will accompany and reward you."