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January 9, 2016

Oh, what a wonderful gift I have to share with you today, Heartdwellers! This is such a beautiful, beautiful message from the Lord. I pray that it really reaches down deeply into your hearts and really stirs you to know how profoundly the Lord loves you.

So, Jesus wanted me to tell you about what happened today. I confess, I have no idea how to explain this to you will REALLY get it. But I'm going to try.

You know I've been talking about His real, intimate love; holding me, dancing with me, looking into my eyes. Taking me places and revealing things that are to happen. Well that is all sublime and precious when I'm in my right mind and not under some kind of oppression, like I was a few days ago.

But I have been making a very small fast offering, forgoing sweets and a little thing like butter, which I love on everything. It isn't much of a fast offering, but it is a little sacrifice. And this word came from Lana Vawser, that if we fast He would put us on the fast track to breakthrough. Well this is only been going on for two days, and I just had a breakthrough.

In worship, Jesus came to me the usual way, inviting me to dance with Him to these slow worship songs of Terry MacAlmon's. But what was different this time, was that I saw His face so clearly, and He was younger. Someplace between 14 and 17, and of course I was, too. His face was much more tender, no beard, and you could just sense the flush of His tender youth blooming, that extraordinary time when everything is beginning to blossom about our natures.

And I began remembering those days when I was that age, and I fell in love and had crushes so easily. The feelings for the person I was dating at that time weren't there but the whole idea of being 'in love' and tenderly being drawn into everything about that person and constantly wanting to be with them...that came to mind very strongly.

Mixed in with those feelings, the youth and tenderness of young Jesus, and His whole demeanor of being so in love with me, was totally new to me. It's as though I was 16 again and deeply in love with the boy who was deeply in love with me. We had found each other - the treasure of our lives! I was pure, innocent and head-over-heels consumed with love for Him.

It is very much like the feeling that is portrayed in the image we have of the Bride & Jesus together. In that image He looks so tender, He almost looks effeminate by some people's standards. But really, what I was wanting to portray in that painting was the sweet, innocent, uncluttered and pure love the bride and groom had for one another.

Perhaps if you can remember back to your first crush...your first 'in love' experience, you'll remember how you were consumed with wanting to be with that person. And they felt the same way about you, and it was like Heaven on Earth. Well that is what I experienced with Jesus just now.

We were sitting together, looking at one another and His love for me was so deep and poignant and obviously quite exclusive...I just understood. I was everything He ever wanted in a relationship. We loved the same things, we thought the same way, we really enjoyed the same music and loved to walk in the fall leaves rustling beneath our feet. We loved to lay in a pile of leaves and look up at the brilliant maples in the full glory of Autumn. We loved to listen to the babbling brook and feel the spongy green moss beneath our bare feet. We would stay up together for hours waiting for the Aurora Borealis to dance in the skies. We loved to go agate hunting in the northern beaches of Lake Superior, and watch mother bear with her three cubs scrounging for food around our camp. We sought out the otters and waited for hours for them to be comfortable playing in the waters before us.

I mean, I could go on and on and on about what He loved about me and what I loved about Him and how perfectly in love we are with one another in our teenage years. It is such an amazing experience. Truly, I feel 15 again. I feel innocent and pure again and I feel profoundly loved and profoundly in love again.

With these feelings being stirred up, along came the usual anxieties: "I want to be with You forever, but in Heaven You'll be so busy! I'll only see You once in a while and with so many other people around You..."

And He began to explain what it will really be like. I saw Him on a throne with people coming to Him and I was seated beside Him on His right. Together we ministered to each person. In one scene, someone came with a baby and handed it to Him, and He passed the infant on to me. I put it on my lap, having a sense that I was to pray for the child while He prayed for the parent. I also remembered the times we went swimming together and played with the dolphins and how He taught me how to jump in the water just like them. In Heaven, everything comes so easily - you think it and the next minute you're doing it. Effortlessly, I might add.

Then Jesus asked me what I wanted to do in Heaven...or did I want to be in a deliverance ministry like Ana Ferrel for instance. My mind went immediately to the piano and how I wanted to write and play songs that would draw a soul into His arms. And I thought about it some more and said, "Jesus, I don't know what I want as well as You do. I think I want to do whatever would please You the most."

Then after I said that, I had an insight into my own being: "Undoubtedly more than anything in the world, I want to make You known Lord, for who You truly are. I want to bring people into Your arms that they may discover the REAL Jesus."

He replied, "You're already doing that."

I replied, "Yes, I am! I'm living my dream. But I also want to write songs that will minister to the deepest need of souls to be loved by You, by Perfection, a Love they've never known on this Earth...a love that heals every wound and restores all brokenness."

Well, He has really promised me that, but not quite in this timing, which is OK with me. Although I do miss creating music, it is work, too. Everything has its challenges, but my understanding about Heaven is that the challenges won't exist anymore. All things are accomplished totally naturally, with hardly any effort. Wow! Do I look forward to that!

Lord, I've done my best here to explain what I have been feeling. Have You anything to add?

Jesus began: "Look before My Godhead. What I mean is that you can see a forest, but you can also see an individual tree with the loveliness of its bark and branches and leaves. It has an aroma, a sweetness; it gives shade, its leaves sing in the wind. Further up its trunk lives a mother falcon with her chicks, down at the base the squirrels chipper back and forth as they store their acorns.

"What I mean is that you, My Bride, have known the forest for a very long time. You have worshipped, prayed, sought Me. Learned about My Father and My Spirit, and these things are immense for all mankind to adore and give honor to. I would liken that to the forest. But now, I am revealing Myself to you in the things you find beautiful and cherish, in every little detail - from the color of the lichen on the side of the trunk to the ornate little trails the bugs leave behind, to the places where the deer have scratched their antlers and the cougar has sharpened its claws.

"Now I am revealing to you the intimate details about Myself that we two have uniquely in common, things that only you and I notice and appreciate, things we do together that no one else does together. Things revealing our natures to one another that cause us to fall head over heels in love with each other, as I find My reflection in you and you find your perfection in Me. And we are so in love.

"I adore everything about you: the highlights in your hair, the graceful curve of your neck, the way you laugh and celebrate with joy the rainbows of life, and even the way you are sensitive to the tragedies in the lives of others. The way you say 'I'm sorry' when you do something less becoming of your station in life and the way you seek Me out until you finally have all of My attention.

"Oh, so many things about you, My Love, that I will never find in another. You are My unique and perfect soul-mate and I rejoice to be in your presence as you rejoice to be in Mine. And when we are together in this innocent and perfectly pure world of ours, our hearts beat a little faster, we get just a little light-headed, and just lingering together puts us in heavenly places. Oh, how I appreciate and adore you, My one and only love."

"You have seen the forest, you have known its majesty and grandeur. Now you have found the tree of Life, the tiny details that make us so like each other, the common ground for the things we find beauty in. And in one another's presence we can linger forever and never grow weary. In this place I refresh you with My very being, and in this place you bring Me joy - a joy that I have never known before. Do you understand, My Bride? You are exquisite beyond anything ever created. I find My completeness and joy in you alone, for you were made for Me and no one else will do."