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May 12, 2016

The Lord continues to draw us, dear Heartdwellers. He is hungry for our company and is again showing us the way to His heart.

Today the Lord called a Daniel fast, basically living on vegetables. Everyday I make a protein drink with coffee concentrate that is every bit as yummy as Star Bucks Frappuccinos. Today, when I went to do this, I saw the image of the crucified Lord in the blender, floating on top of the protein drink. I felt in my spirit a check, that today He is asking that I forego that pleasure, get by with a plain protein drink and a little coffee. This is a hard one for me, 'cause that's kind of my starter in the mornings.

So, I asked Ezekiel "Would you please go to the Lord using the Bible Promises for me, and see if it's okay for me to drink my usual thing?" So, what did he get but 'Lust' about me drinking the Frappuccino and the Scripture reading for making a plain protein drink was under the heading of Loneliness, which always, always strikes me as saying "I will come to you."

There are two Scripture there especially that mirror that:

"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." Isaiah 58:9 and "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14

So by these readings I discerned what I didn't want to hear: no Frappuccinos!

And worship tonight was much clearer than it has been in a long time. The Sweetness of the Lord was so strong. This had been my prayer for at least a couple of weeks - that the sweetness would be restored. How did I lose it? Indulging my black panther and wasting His precious time doing things I shouldn't have been doing. After my correction, feeling the lack of sweetness in His presence was very, very painful. And I do hope and believe it brought me to a deeper level of repentance. Though I could hear Him giving me instruction for messages for all of you, to lose His sweet fellowship was really more than I could bear. I believe I learned my lesson, at least for this time. And I appreciate your prayers to keep me in that place.

So, when we began our time together I said, "Oh thank You, Lord, for touching My heart so sweetly."

He replied, "You see, by denying yourself the little things, you draw closer to the delights of Heaven. It only takes a little effort, Clare, a little agreement. And the sweetness of My presence and our love is filled with the fresh fragrance of devotion.

"My people, if you want to draw closer to Heaven, you must learn to deny yourself and walk in self-denial. You cannot continue to feed the flesh and expect eternal rewards, for the flesh is in opposition to the Spirit and one cancels out the power of the other. So, if you want closer encounters with Me and with Heaven, deny yourselves some choice morsel and come into My presence stronger in resolve than ever.

"I am not an easy catch. My royal dignity does not allow for Me to be an easy catch. Rather, you must reach up and out of yourselves as you seek My fellowship and the sweetness of My presence.

"What price are you willing to pay, My beloved ones? What are you willing to deny yourself for Me? The rich young ruler had done all the law commanded, but his heart was still with his possessions and future inheritance. The idea of disappointing his father was also something he could not even fathom...a slap in the face for his father's years of planning and toil. Yes, relatives and security will keep you from your highest calling if you allow them to.

"I called him, but fear of the unknown and being stripped naked of all human dignity, to become an itinerant disciple of a questionable teacher, looked down upon by the scribes and Pharisees...well, that was just too much. All in one fell swoop, he would lose his family, who would call him a madman and be condemned by the highly respected and corrupt Pharisees. Overnight he would go from riches to rags. A man with a future to a man of shame. A man of means leveled to the status of a common beggar. Oh no, he could not possibly wear that crown of scorns that all My apostles were offered.

"Truly, it's not the poverty alone that causes a soul to refuse My invitation. It is the stigma of poverty and the way you are looked upon daily when you reduce yourself to the status of a beggar and live solely on alms given even by women. So many find their self-worth in their possessions. When those are stripped, they feel that even their dignity has been stripped.

"As I have told you many times before, no man is worth more than the price I paid on Calvary for them. Each and every one cost Me the very life's blood of My body. Therefore, the rich and the poor are of equal value in My Kingdom. This is something that does not become apparent to most until after they die, and then they see their nakedness before Me.

"Accumulations of wealth, status and accomplishment fade like the morning mist and what is left is the stark reality, 'What did you do for others? Did you learn how to give? Did you learn how to love?' It is a very difficult decision to leave the world to follow Me, so many ramifications. My disciples were head-over-heels in love with Me - they made that choice without hesitation.

"Clare struggled over this decision. She missed My first call. But I gave her a dream in which I said, 'I will call again.' And the second time she decided for Me. The rewards were literally out of this world, but the scorn and contempt that accompanied it was very much like what My disciples endured as they set out after My ascension."

I felt the Lord was prompting me to break in and share something with you. At the risk of boring the old timers on this channel, I will share briefly what happened. This is the second call. The first call you can hear about in my testimonials of how I was brought to the Lord and the journey that He's taken me on.

My husband at the time was in the University of Maryland School of Public Affairs and we were supported by his parents. He had trouble with one professor after about a year, and was put on probation. Truly, this was an act of God.

I had been living the Christian cultural dream. Lovely three story antique house in the old section of Annapolis, a fireplace in every room on the ground floor, 150 year old antique floors and beautiful wooden cabinets in a very large kitchen with a fireplace and a backyard that butted against the oldest and most distinguished estate in Annapolis. We were going to a very upscale church in D.C., pastored by an Oxford educated man who was a joy to be around and had very sound Christian teachings.

We looked like the perfect, upwardly mobile family: very well dressed, new car, fashionable house and perfectly... UNhappy. I couldn't put my finger on it. I had everything I thought I wanted, but something inside was not there. I was a born-again believer, filled with the Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues, and we had just had our fourth child a week before the Fourth of July.

My husband was not happy, either. We both felt something was missing. He brought home a book by the musician John Michael Talbot. I had listened to his music and deep was calling unto deep. There was something very pure of Jesus in his music, something I had never heard in Contemporary, mainline Christian music. John had a community of married couples a few hours from us and we went to investigate it. It was so different and void of all the social posturing and wealth that we had experienced in the last seven years. But to really live this radical Christianity, we would have to leave behind our attachments to the world and all the things we had accumulated and live the life of the first apostles.

That appealed to both of us and we left everything - our inherited antique furniture, the monthly support from his parents, all the fine clothing. We stripped down to the bare minimum and I began home-schooling my children. My husband took a job at a nursing home.

All I can say, is that my life in God soared and my relationship with Jesus was ecstatic, joyful and beyond anything I ever thought I could have in this life. This is what I try to convey on this channel: the enormous love of God and the sublime beauty of knowing Him as our friend and spouse, in a purely spiritual way.

We went from a three story antique townhouse, in the middle of Annapolis near the city dock - a fashionable neighborhood, with all the trappings. To a one-room cabin, a tar-paper cabin. And we had running water when it rained. The rest of the time, we got water from a pump-well. It was just total wilderness in the Poconos, it was so beautiful.

Jesus continued, "And because you emptied yourself, Clare, I filled you to overflowing. But it cost you, didn't it?"

Yes, it did. My husband and I were not truly, equally-yoked. He was not really in the same place. He couldn't live through the persecution we got for living so simply, so he left us and I became a single parent with four children ages 3 to 11. Yes, it was hard. I cleaned houses for a living, but I was very joyful because Jesus was my spouse. Truly He covered me and took over the job of husband. Not in a carnal way, not in a sexual way, but in a loving brotherly way, always providing for my needs, always guiding me in prayer. And later, He introduced me to Ezekiel, who had the identical calling on his life, but he, too, had struggled with leaving everything behind.

Together we found a path free from denominational fetters, that is very much like the first century Christians lived in Antioch. We immersed ourselves in the work of serving and live only on providence, knowing what it is to be in need, and knowing what it is to have plenty.

We have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phillipians 4:12

Jesus continued, "I am here for the taking. Not all are called out of society into a radical Christian life, but all are called to be radical lovers of Me and forsake themselves in all things. Those who would keep their lives, will lose them, but those who give up their lives for Me shall indeed find them.

"I bless you now, that you will hearken to My still small voice in your soul and step-by-step give up those things that hinder the deep intimacy I have called you to. I will indeed fill you to overflowing as you forsake yourself in all things."

And here I feel I need to add something. Please don't rush off and sell all your possessions to follow the Lord, unless you have a solid witness that He is calling you to do so. But what you can do everyday is to do everything out of a motive of love. Offer the last piece of chicken to your siblings, when you're still hungry. Go out of your way to help your parents in the kitchen, or at work. Spend time with that person going through a divorce, take an extra minute to drive someone home. Forsake entertainment in favor of prayer and perhaps encouraging someone on the phone. You can never, ever out-give the Lord.

And I want to take a moment here to share with you something that's been extremely, spiritually productive for us. That is, taking the book The Rapture WAS Real?! and using it for a word of knowledge or a rhema. And how we do that is, just simply take the book and pray - ask Holy Spirit to lead you and then open and start reading. It's HIGHLY, highly effective, because the Lord is speaking to me in these different situations, and you'll feel Him speaking to you through the answer that He gives me.

When I was in the middle of listening to the Lord and receiving this message, I went to the "library" where I keep this book and I just happened to get a reading. I took the time to really listen to it, and this is what it said:

Begins on page 313. I'm going to skip on down to the Lord speaking to me here.

He says, "You don't always see what's behind the Christian's life. You don't always see what they were like before I got a hold of them."

And I began thinking of myself, and I said, "I'm thinking of myself now, Lord. Whew! That was NOT good! Not good at all. Selfish, proud, deeply entangled in materialism and impressing people. Not able to form deep friendships. To give or to receive love. But something in me changed when You got ahold of me, Lord. It took years, but You changed me. I know I'm not perfect, I still have problems with all those things, and other things as well. But I'm not anything like I was before You came into my life, Jesus."

And the Lord began speaking at that point, "Love came into your life. The kind of love you had always dreamed of. A holy, loving companion. I came and revealed to you who I was and who you were to Me. So special, so very special. You had never had anyone treat you like that. You had never, ever been understood by others. You never felt secure in your life until I entered into your heart. You knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am God. And yet, I have nothing better to do than to hang around with you? Guiding you, protecting you and teaching you about My Kingdom? Your church experience was not any better than any of your other experiences. You weren't accepted there, any more than you were accepted in the non-Christian community. But one thing you did have: a personal relationship with Me. You touched the hem of My garment, day after day, and through that you survived all the bad things that happened to you, even at church.

"You see, religion and God bear no resemblance, My People. Religion is a system fostered by men to get closer to God, whereas I embrace you without the rules and regulations - even without the knowledge of My Name. There are those who know Me in their hearts and spirits, and follow all I ask them to do. Then, someday, when the time is right I will reveal Myself to them. Yet there are others who have been handled so roughly in their lives that they have no hope of love or of being accepted. I must surprise them with My love. I must take them in a moment they are least expecting, and shower them with my profound, unconditional Love.

"There are many who blame Me for everything bad that has happened in their lives, because they don't want to give up their sin. Somewhere inside their hearts they hear My voice. But the world and its allurements overpower them, and they ignore it until it's too late.

"I am always calling, always waiting, always with them - wanting to bring healing into their lives. They must at least be willing to give up sin and receive My love. The pleasures of the flesh call much more loudly than I, so I must wait until the flesh is old and weak. But even then, there's no guarantee that the bitterness they are holding onto will allow them to hear Me. So, I allow them to languish in nursing homes, until I can reach them and bring them Home to Me.

"Oh, how sad it is when a soul has closed the door on My love and has nothing in this world to turn to."

So, I bring this reading up, because this was the reading that I received when I was in the midst of this message. And it reveals so much about how we are tied to the world and the pleasures of the world. And how that prevents us from even being saved.

You know, many people ask me, "How do you spend two and three hours in prayer??" Well, I first put on some worship songs and put my heart into them and worship the Lord to those. Then I have my rhema books, my word of knowledge/word of wisdom books. And this particular one, The Rapture WAS Real?! - I didn't realize what an effect it was going to have on my life when I began using it for a rhema. It's been so illuminating, because the Lord is speaking directly to me. So I'll take rhema books, and I'll get some Scripture readings and just meditate on those. On what the Lord is saying. And then I'll have communion. And then if there's time left and I'm not being called out of prayer, I'll pray the Stations of the Cross. And very often after Communion the Lord will call me to begin taking down a message.

So, all in all, that's quite a bit of time, having at least 45 minutes in worship, another 45 minutes in seeking the Lord and what's on His heart and mind through the readings and the Scriptures. And then, some time meditating on the Stations of the Cross, which is very strengthening, by the way, when we see how He suffered. It's very encouraging in the sense that we can see that we suffer the same way, everyday, in very tiny ways. Before I know it, my two hours of prayer are over with. So, that's how I do it. That's for all of you.

So, the Lord bless you and I hope that He's spoken to your hearts through these messages. He certainly loves you, enough to get my attention every day and turn my life around so that I'm feeding you what He feeds me.

The Lord bless you all. And please do keep us in your prayers.