When Giving Up is Not an Option, Part 2

August 24, 2016

Clare: ;Okay, so - you got out of bed..

Ezekiel: I got out of bed, made it into the loop, but as I was walking through the kitchen, I had a very clear, very clear picture - mind's eye vision, whatever - of all of these demons... I don't mean to be campy or silly, but there was a computer-animated movie out a while back. And I...gosh, can't even remember the...Oh - Kung Fu Panda! And the - if any of you saw that - had these gorilla, I mean these rhinoceros-looking guards, you know, they had armor on. Well, these demons looked just like that, man. They were like, upright rhinoceros-looking things with armor on!

And every step I'd take, this HUGE, curling-ball would come behind me.

Clare: an iron ball...

Ezekiel: It almost looked like one of those things you swing with iron balls and spikes - but this was just...these were just big balls with spikes! And I mean, HURLING. And when it would hit them, it would knock out bunches of them.

Clare: Huh! Of the demons?

Ezekiel: Yeah!

Clare: With every step that you took...

Ezekiel: I'm so used to... You're talking to the son of the son of the son of Thomas - doubting Thomas, you know? It's been my Achilles heel, is doubt. And when I start to see something, or it has been for a few years - I kinda brush it off, you know. "That's just my mind, or my head." Whatever. But I'd take another step.

Clare: Couldn't do that this time, it was too clear.

Ezekiel: I'd take another step. Take another step. It never went away. I'd take another step, there's another group of these guys and WHAM! This thing would come out of nowhere behind me and just obliterate them. And with each step I took, I mean, it made no sense at all. Every step I took I got stronger. I could feel it. And I can't tell you, I had tingling from head to toe. All I know is, with every step - I don't know, 24 steps from my room to the bed to here...Wow! The closer I got to the room - and Clare mentioned, I'd tried this so many times before. I'd go in, I'd pray, I'd turn on the equipment and get things ready...and wham! I'd get hit with one of...several of those abdominal convulsions-like things, those seizures. And they'd...I was out. I was down for hours, maybe two or three days at a time. And nights.

But not this time! And I gotta tell you, because of His grace, because of your prayers, because of your faith - when I didn't have faith of my own, you guys were like the ones that busted the hole in Peter's roof and let the man down in front of Jesus.

Clare: Yeah...

Ezekiel: I didn't have any faith of mine. I just had nothing - I was totally bankrupt. 30 years with the Lord and bankrupt. But you guys came along, made a hole, put me down in front of Jesus...

Clare: That's beautiful. Yeah... So, there was a...we were obviously under demonic attack. And for all you loving Satanists out there, God bless you!

Ezekiel: He really does love you guys.

Clare: lol...He does!

Ezekiel: And He's given us the grace to love you, too!

Clare: And He takes these things, the Lord takes these things and turns them around for good, because now we're learning about some of the tactics and techniques. As we're seeing into the spirit, He's showing us.

Ezekiel: And again, a lot of you guys know what it's like to lose your "purpose-driven life". And that brings me to this point: Obviously, I'm telling you about a life changing, amazing, powerful healing. I mean, off my death bed. Off my DEATH bed! I mean you're talking to kinda like Lazarus, man. I remember thinking, 'Wow. I almost feel like I'm born again...AGAIN!' Just like a fresh baby out of the womb.

Clare: And some of this, you know... people say Christians can't be cursed. Sorry! You're not right about that. They can be cursed. And whether the Lord allows them to land or not... But here we're talking about a death curse, where the Lord directly raised you up in the face of that death curse. And angels blasted the demons that were trying to bring it on, because of your will to take a step here and take a step there.

And what I want to say about that, is that we are finding out more and more - what a righteous God we serve! We have no idea of some of the things that are sinful, that we're doing. We don't realize. God revealed to me my hidden sins, cleansed my hidden sins. And we don't realize how we open doors. This is what we're finding out more and more in the spiritual warfare, is that we open doors just without thinking. We don't realize that we're sinning and the effect that it has - maybe a sin of unbelief, or a sin of criticism or judgment. We just don't realize that. And so that allows a curse to land, because we sinned. And we're just now, the Lord is just now beginning to reveal to us a much higher standard of holiness than what we've been functioning at.

And this calls for a real amendment of life and repentance. And that's when the curses can't land. Although He does allow suffering, again, to deliver the Gospel into the hands of the lost, as a fast offering. He does allow it. So, it's a little bit of a mixed bag, but certainly we don't want to be opening doors by our own sin. Not only do we not want to open doors, but let's think about it. We're so in love with the Lord, we don't want to hurt Him. We don't want to hurt Him with the things that we do, or grieve the Holy Spirit.

So, these are things that we need to look at again.

Getting back to the narrative of what happened there, you felt that it was actually the warring angels that were assaulting these demons?

Ezekiel: It wasn't angels. It was God the Father Himself. I could feel Him, I could sense Him. You know, you've heard some of my past. Like a lot of you, never knew the love of a real father, just the hard...violence and abuse and all that stuff. But. So, I was a little shy (of God the Father). And Clare would tell me, "Honey, you've got to get to know Him. He's got the heart of a child! He's so innocent and pure and so beautiful!" And it just was like, bounced off my head. I had no point of reference.

And this past Spring, (I heard he's gone to be with the Lord now), Brendan Manning, who was a former active Franciscan priest, who ended up being laicized, getting married and going on and giving talks and things. It's an amazing story that he told. About how much the Father loves Jesus and Jesus loves the Father. I'll get back to that another time. But through that talk, I met Him! Yesterday I couldn't have told you anything, 'cause I felt like such a hypocrite...but, His love breaks through. His love breaks through. And it was Daddy. His little boy that He's taken and swung me by the arms, Jesus on the other side of the River, like they're swinging me over the stream. And they're putting me in front of berry bushes - no thorns, you know. And this is some months back. And I had a little honeymoon with my REAL DADDY. I don't have any other name I can call Him. I understand "Abba". And another time for other things, beautiful stories and places He's taken me and things He's been.

Clare: Some of that is written in Chronicles of the Bride, too. Which is a free book online on our website, Heartdwellers.org

Ezekiel: A little bit, a little bit of that.

Clare: Coming up on the music, how that turned around. 'Cause we've been asking the prayer warriors to pray for your music.

Ezekiel: Right, right. So, with every step, every move... So, I pull the cover off the keyboard. Normally, I'd try to sit and pray and spend some time with the Lord. But you got hours and hours and hours to do that when you're "down". And this was time for Lazarus to come out of the tomb.

Clare: lol...time for ACTION!

Ezekiel: An author that we love, Lori Beth Jones, who wrote "Jesus, CEO" and following books - beautiful. In one of her books I think she said, "It's like Jesus came out of the tomb and went, (finger clicks, hands clap) TaDa!" lol!! And I thought about that, and I was quipping about that earlier tonight. And I felt like the Lord was saying, "Yeah - but it was WAY more than that!! But! There was part of that, too!"

So, I pulled the keyboard cover off, like I'd done countless days and nights before. Turn on the switches. Recorder console fires up. Keyboard fires up. My guitar's sitting right there in almost perfect tuning. And I started getting kinda tired, you know. And I thought, 'Wow - this is...well, 28, going into maybe 29 hours (of being awake) and I've still got my flesh. I'm thinking...you get in a habit of conditioning of well, she's down, or he's down - I need to go down. You get lazy!

Clare: Yeah..

Ezekiel: I got lazy! And oh my gosh! It's like He's teaching me, He's wiped the whole slate clean. This was not just a physical, amazing physical resurrection healing. This was an amazing, start-again, fresh, baby-skin...I mean, I feel like I'm in Kindergarden, learning all over again. And that's how I ever want to be! No wonder He said that, unless you become like a little child...

So, everything's fired up and I'm tired and want to go to bed. And I hear the Lord clearly. After MONTHS, I'm hearing Him clearly. I'm not hearing demons saying, "You're this, you're that...badum dadum dadah..." I'm hearing JESUS. God Himself. I'm hearing the Holy Spirit. I'm hearing Daddy. Clear - just like you and I talking, right here. And He seemed like someone in a grandstand, watching this Olympic event, and He was both the spectator and almost the Spartan in the middle of the Coliseum. You know, dueling it out at the same time.

And He would say, "Let's keep going."

Clare: And you told me you were tired. And I said, "Honey, you need to break through this." Because that's the demon of lethargy and laziness, tiredness...it comes on you, to stop you.

Ezekiel: Oh yeah! It didn't want to let go.

Clare: Yeah. And you just have to break through it, you have to keep going.

Ezekiel: I want to tell you, I knew of a pastor who said, "You know, I didn't believe in demons until I found out I HAD one." LOL! You know?

Clare: If you've got one, believe me, it's not the only one you have!

Ezekiel: Yeah... And I was a lot like Mary Magdalene, you know. And I'm sure, 30 years ago, He delivered me of more demons than you could shake a stick at - in and INSTANT. In an INSTANT - at two minutes 'till eight that night. I still hated Christians and everything to do with Christianity, church, religion, blechh! You know. I'm sorry, but that's the way it was. And I end up in this group of people, with some food. And they're praying and - you've heard it, if you've heard the past several months back, my testimony.

It was like He did that again! It almost felt - even though it took 10 minutes to get there - here it was into an hour, and I was getting tired... 29 hours... It felt instantaneous. It's amazing. It's like He said, when a woman in laboring to give birth, she groans in travail. But when she gives birth, she rejoices in the child that came forth and remembers not her pain. The first words out of my mouth were the Psalms. I mean, they were POURING out of me. I don't know the Psalms by memory! I've walked with the Lord for 30 years - yeah I know a lot of stuff by rote.

Clare: We know bits and pieces.

Ezekiel: Yeah - it's just pouring out of me! And the very first words were something along the lines of "You bring LIFE where there IS no life. You bring hope where there is no hope. You bring blessing where there's nothing but a curse." And on and on and on.

So...I looked up and... I write - like many of you. I write little cards to remind me. And I have this big 8 x 11 sheet of paper beside one of my vocal processor units, by the recording console. And it says: Come PLAY with Me. PLAY. Big words, big letters. Neon. PLAY. I never learned how to read or write music. Since I was probably 7 years old I've plucked around on little toy guitars and stuff, and I've always played by ear. And music was never work - it was always play. When I wrote that little card, that big sheet of paper - I was thinking of, you know, going off with the Lord. Skating, ice skating, you know. Riding horses, kick a soccer ball - whatever. I wasn't thinking music. But it's amazing how those words that the Lord gives you are like memorial stones. Like Jacob used to pile up and the Patriarchs, when the Lord would visit them. And they'd leave a memorial stone. Those words come back to you.

And just like the Scriptures, they'll catch you and hit you a totally, new, fresh way. And here it is. I'm tired, want to go to bed, "Let's keep going...PLAY with Me." Here's the Lord... And I'm just seeing Him, up on His haunches almost, almost kind of squatting up out of His seat in these Coliseum kind of stands, watching the contest that is going on. And yet, He's down there, almost like a gladiator, going after masses and masses of Spartan gladiator-mongrels.

Clare: Demons...

Ezekiel: Just ...yeah.

Clare: You saw this in the spirit, when you were picking up your guitar, or..?

Ezekiel: While I was sitting right there at the keyboard and getting ready to pick up the guitar. This happened like, three times throughout the next 12 hours. What's 12 and 28...40. Isn't that interesting? And He's going at it, you know? And when He would do that, I'd just fill up with air again. I'd just be re-inflated and re-enlivened, quickened and boom!

Clare: When He did what?

Ezekiel: When He would say, "Let's keep going!" And He's on His haunches and He's up out of His - He's watching a contest. But the third time that happened, into almost probably the 10th hour of this breakthrough. We're going on 40 hours. Wow. It's like an Odyssey. The third time this happened, and He said, "Let's keep going." And it was almost like, part of me was like, "Lord! This is amazing - but You gotta be kidding me! I'm only flesh and human! I mean - this is great, but You're going to have to enlarge my head and my body or something. I'm having trouble keeping up!"

And He looked at me, with a very...very intentional, loving, excited, passionate smile...and He said - both fists clenched - and He said, "We're gonna TAKE these guys! We're gonna take 'em down, every single one of them. We're gonna give 'em back every, single thing that they deserve and we're gonna TAKE BACK everything they've stolen. And I'm gonna multiply it. Now, let's keep going!"

Clare: Wow!

Ezekiel: Whoa! That was all I needed, that's all I needed. Here we go, boy, we're into the last two hours. I didn't know it, I didn't know how long this was going to take. I used to be able to just sit down, write a song, zip it out - play a tune, put the words, record it - and I could be done in 20 minutes, sometimes.

Clare: Yeah, and I'd labor for three weeks over a song, and he'd have it down in 20 minutes!

Ezekiel: There's so many things that are different within these past few hours, in that I can look at these fruits that are coming up now. I sound excited, because I am! Oh, my gosh, I was DEAD! I'm ALIVE! We're into, probably the 10th hour of this thing. And I'm thinking - yeah, I've been sitting here a while, and all these Psalms are pouring out of me, praise and you name it. Like I had 12 different channels goin' on in my head, and they were all Lord. Psalms, Praise, old songs, new songs - you name it.

And I'm sitting here with this plethora in front of me, and a melody came to me. I just happened to have my guitar and kind of a strange - what we call "open tuning," it's not a standard tuning - you tune it to something that sounds pretty. And then when you put your fingers on different places on the strings, it just sounds prettier. It's nice! Nice!

Clare: Of course, we're dying to hear this song...

Ezekiel: Oh my...yeah. Sorry.. Well, I wanna tell ya, He's doing a new thing. A while ago I heard so clearly, "Look on, you scoffers, and be amazed! I'm doing a new thing."