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September 16, 2016

EZ:... the fence gets turned off and you're, "Oh, Okay! Ouch! Yeah - got that!" It's not because He's being mean. It's a loving thing. He knows we need to be corrected strongly enough, and shown and taught strongly enough that we'll remember. It'll become part of our nature, our behavior. Out of love and from love. From the heart.

So, the next conversation, the Lord's showing me Judgment. Yeah...He's showing me judgment.

Clare: Judgment? You've been working on that really hard for the last few weeks.

EZ: He's going deeper and deeper and deeper into things that we don't even know are there sometimes. But they are there!

Clare: That's not what you're trying to suppress with your mouth, it's what's going on in your heart.

EZ: Totally!

Clare: 'Cause that's already damaged. Damaging to yourself, damaging to others. And you went through another experience where you just wanted to die, because the pain was were so discouraged and the pain was off the charts. When you recognized that there were open doors and you repented of those, and we got more prayer for you, then that started to break. That whole sense of hopelessness. The Lord actually came in, TOTALLY took away every symptom of the peritonitis, took it all away. Every little symptom. And he started feeling really good. You got your motivation back, to write music, play music. And in fact, you've been physically active, swimming - it's just awesome!

EZ: Oh man, I've been digging cellos and violins and all kinds of stuff out of walls, a microphone that I needed for a long time.

Clare: We took care of that, we got you a microphone.

EZ: Yeah, directional microphone that'll pick up the acoustic instruments.

Clare: And then the Lord started sending you all these little love notes and drawing you deeper and deeper into prayer. Just that anointing, you know, for prayer. Just fell, and you just wanted to tuck up away with Him.

EZ: A box of Macy's chocolates comes up. And by the way, the night before, the very first song the Lord ever danced to me with...Some years back, I used to go up to the front chapel that we have, and I'd just keep a night vigil with the Lord by myself, 'till gosh, I don't know, 3 in the morning or 'till daybreak or whatever. I just loved Him and it was just good to be in His presence.

And one night, during a vigil, a group called the Cantinos from Samoa have a song called "Believe"

Clare (singing): "Gotta believe..."

EZ: Yes, it's like "If you choose to believe.." He just held me over His heart and swayed gently to the music with me. And it was just really sweet and intimate. And that went on for about 3 weeks.

Clare: And pure. I mean He was holding you like a brother and swaying back and forth.

EZ: yeah - just really, really pure, you know? Like brothers would back in the Hebrew days, you know, when they'd put their arms around each other's shoulders. That song, after so many years, starts playing through my head all night. The night before this contending finally broke a few days ago. And I wake up the next day, and I mean up to 36 hours of not being able to eat or drink hardly anything at all, no matter what I took - nothing would touch it. I mean nothing would touch it. And I could feel I was running... I could kinda feel a low-grade fever, but on the inside I could feel a pressure like I was burning up, like my whole body was just burning up.

Clare: You didn't have any - the adhesions were healed.

EZ: These little punctures that had happened, and then the toxins going out into an open cavity. I was told by the doctor friend in NY - you've probably got about a 2% chance of making it. She's also a strong believer and she said, "However, that's what we used to say in medical school and the hospitals. I know now the Lord can do anything. So 2%? That doesn't mean a thing to me. I know He's using this and He's gonna get you through it and raise you back up!"

Which is exactly, exactly what he did.

Clare: And then as he mentioned before, He sent all these little love signs, yeah.

EZ: Aw, man - here's this song playing, the night before, song's playing through my head. I felt well enough to get up and go in the room and put that song on and kinda just stand there, just kinda sway to the music. I felt like I was right back there with the Lord. It was just so sweet and so good. And I go to bed feeling really comforted...and then comes the REAL, HEAVY-DUTY burning out from this poison, this peritonitis I guess. And by all rights any dummy would have called an ambulance and gone on to the hospital long before. But the Lord just kept - there was such a peace about - "just Trust Me."

And here, again, you're looking at two people, you're looking at the two people you love the most in the world, if you have your helpmate and your heartmate, as your husband or wife there. Or children. And you can see the pain and anguish in their face, the fear, the faith, the strength and the weakness - all the gamut that they're going through. And you can't make it better for them, and you can't make it better for you. And you all go through it together. A lot of you know what I'm talking about.

On the last night, when this set in hard, and she surprised me with her answer. I said, "Clare, I've tried to protect you from this for a long time. And I've been honest with you." 'Cause a lot of times she'd say, "You feeling, are you telling me the truth?" And I would. But I told her, "I think I'm dying this time. And you have to let me go."

And her answer was not anything like... I asked her to sit down, she said, "I don't need to - I feel fine."

I said, "You might want to sit down."

She said, "No. What is it?"

I said, "I'm dying." I mean, to hear those words from your spouse: I'm dying. "I'm just trying to tell you the truth, I'm being honest with you." And I said, "You've gotta let me go."

And she said, "I'm not gonna let you go! I'm not letting you go at all! This is stupid."

Clare: The Lord's made promises to us. And I'm standing on those promises. It was just a test in faith and obedience. If the Lord hadn't made it so clear that He didn't want you to go to the hospital, I was gonna call an ambulance. But He made it very clear that He didn't want you going to the hospital. So...

EZ: This wasn't about death and dying. This was about, kinda like Lana Vawser's...

Clare: Death and dying, not of the body, but to sin.

EZ: Right. Kinda like Lana Vawser's thing recently, going in "over my head", you know. The song she talked about and we watched the singer - I forget the lady's name, but very good.

Clare: Jenn Johnson, Bethel music

EZ: In fact, I got in - I've had a couple of glorious days. It was awesome, I had a couple of experiences today of just letting go like that. Just...blind free-falling. And we never are blind or free-falling when we fall into the Lord. We're not falling into oblivion, we're falling into perfect freedom.

So, anyway. I wanted to encourage some of you guys.

Clare: Contend for your healing. Look for the doors, you know, that got opened. And when he was in the worst throes of this pain, I just came and laid hands on him and prayed for Mercy.

EZ: Right.

Clare: Mercy, Lord. Mercy, Lord. Mercy. You know, with all my heart and soul, I prayed for Mercy. And the Lord gave him Mercy - that's what, combined with the repentance, recognizing what had opened the door and repentance and praying for your healing. Just praying for Mercy. I mean, I could have prayed all kinds of specific things - against infection, against all of it, the peritonitis and perforations and all these different things. I could have prayed against. But the one thing that is so beautiful about the Lord is that, you just come to Him and ask Him for Mercy. You don't have to have the name for everything.

EZ: Right, right. It can kind of get to be a compulsive science, you know. A new way to pray and a new way to bind. And many times, the key pin, I mean - the Scriptures say "Judgment starts in the house of the Lord." So, hey. If He wants to judge us, correct us, do whatever and clean us up so that we don't have spot or wrinkle, and we are the shining Bride. He's getting us ready. You know, three years isn't a long time. In fact, it's not three years anymore. Two years and how many ever months.

So, whatever He tends to do within these next 3 years - man. Get excited about your gifts and your talents and your vision and get out there and make hay while the sun's shining. Let's go out in a flame and not a sputter! What do they say, "I'd rather burn out than rust out." But He won't let you burn out. You'll just go from Glory to Glory - from strength to strength. And lately I've been asking Him - please give me YOUR strength, and Your wisdom. Your heart beating, Your blood in my veins.

But when it came down to the final throes of it, it just didn't make sense. I just couldn't connect that the Lord was going to take me out. Even though my body was shutting down and everything else. Just didn't make sense.

When she said, "mercy" - everything changed. Everything changed. It was like the simplest prayer you could pray. Not even, "Oh, Lord Jesus, Son of God, Savior...please grant my..." Nope, just, with tears in her eyes, hands on her husband and she's saying, "Mercy, Lord. Please. Mercy."

Clare: Well, I just want to take a moment and summarize this interview with Ezekiel. Really, the Lord is taking us to new levels of faith and abandonment to His providence. Letting go and falling back into His arms. And new levels of obedience. Life and death situations requiring obedience and knowing His will.

I'd like to encourage all of you, Heartdwellers, to really pay close attention to what the Lord's doing in your life. And the challenges and trials and the tests that He puts in front of you, because He's trying to increase our faith. And see it as that, because that's really an intensification now. And I believe it's because of the intensification of evil on the Earth. And the times that we're in are coming to a head. It's going to require more faith just to live every day, and I know He's trying to prepare us for that.

So, when these trials come, rather than seeing them as tragedies or inconveniences, look at them as exercises in faith and trust and abandonment to His Providence, to His hands and to His goodness.

The Lord bless you all, Heartdwellers. Thank you so much for tuning in. And we'll have more for you tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers. They're very effective. And thank you for your support. God bless you.