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November 16, 2016

Well, I'm the Guinea again. This is part 2, the second part of yesterday's message. And this is what happened.

All of a sudden I got hit with the desire to look a little more cheerful around the house than navy blue turtlenecks, and clothing from two years ago that is showing signs of wear with fuzzy balls of cotton and faded colors. I looked online for a light-weight crocheted top to add a little cheerful color to wear over the dingy stuff. I didn't want to spend money on something new, 'cause it was frivolous.

Well, I had such a garment but it was the wrong least favorite. So, I decided instead to pull the color from it and dye it. That took a small bite of time even though I did it in between making dinner.

The point was I WANTED it. And I indulged myself.

Not long after that I realized I had indulged my lust for beauty and things, again. It's like a monster. You give it what it wants, and there's no end to what else it wants next, you starve it and it dies. I have been trying to starve it, but this time I gave in.

Well, I wasn't quite convicted until last night when Ezekiel wasn't feeling well and he admonished me not to get on the Net to watch 60 minutes with Donald Trump. I retorted, "I haven't done anything, you aren't feeling unwell because I sinned." I said this because it is true - sometimes he carries a burden for me, because I'm getting side-tracked and the Lord needs his intercession to get my attention.

Then I went to the Bible Promises to see if I could watch the program. After all, it isn't news - rather it is an interview with a man I know nothing about, really, other than what God has told me, and I really wanted to listen to him.

The first reading I got from the Bible Promises was Self Righteousness. Ouch...I hate that one. That's the one that says "I am pure and without sin. I am not guilty, and there is no sin in me." Job 33:9

That Scripture heading in the Bible Promises stings just like PRIDE. That's another heading that really, really is painful to see. I knew right away, I was not in a good place with the Lord - even though my morning prayers were deep and strong and I felt very connected to the Lord's heart.

Then Ezekiel went to the Bible Promises and got a heading LUST which is always about my desires for things and Money and the World. Then Repentance. So, I came before the Lord wanting to figure out what I had done wrong. Because at that time, I really wasn't aware of it. I was really asking myself, 'What have I done?" And when I finally got to the point of asking Him that, I got the heading called Humility - and I knew it was about my pride again.

And here I want to share with you, that I am only just learning to look. Really look and see what's inside of me that shouldn't be there. We are finding that demons come with seeds and they inhabit that other dimension which our bodies occupy in this dimension, but they can plant seeds. So, they can be lodged in our gut, our minds or any body part for that matter and begin a stronghold by planting an evil seed.

And to be effective in prayer, we need to be clean before the Lord.

So, I came and knelt by my prayer place and asked Holy Spirit to reveal to me my sins. At first I felt restless, but I waited on Him and He truly started showing me what I needed to repent of. And wonder of wonders, there was a spirit of compunction and grief for having offended our Lord.

After about ten minutes of confessing that, "I am a sinner. Still a sinner and please show me what I've done," He started to feel present to me, tangibly, then He began to show me all kinds of things. I don't list them all here, but Judgement, Disrespect, Self-indulgence, Unforgiveness...and last but not least, Pride, Avarice, and Acquisition. My black panther. The thing that stalks me and gets me when I'm not thinking right.

But I still wanted my way, so I dyed it.

I realized dying that piece of cloth was just as bad as buying it new, in the sense that I got what I wanted. And if I keep feeding my 'I wants' it's going to be a monster to deal with and there will be no end to what I want next.

No wonder my prayers for Ezekiel's pain level didn't work. I was unclean from the inside and needed to repent.

Heartdwellers, it's been my experience that, if I haven't really looked honestly within at my sins, my prayers are weak. That's why, before I do anything else in prayer, I come kneeling before the Lord asking to be shown my sins so I can repent. I want those demons out of my space!

I don't want to lay hands on or talk to anyone if I'm not clean, because we are also finding out these demons can be transferred through the internet and phone. Yes, they are contagious! Just like the flu. In fact, any form of communication can infect a person without their knowing it. That's why we shouldn't have newspapers or magazines around, because they are filled with suggestions to lust after sex and the desire to acquire things.

So, I wanted to also admonish you in this message to make sure you wait on Holy Spirit to convict you of your sins and wait until you've truly repented and are sorry for offending God before you assume you're clean.

It calls for true contrition, and that means sorrow for offending God. Not sorrow for getting caught, not sorrow for not getting your way, not sorrow because now you can't get more. Sorrow for having offended our Tender Jesus with idolatrous behavior.

Friends, I am only just beginning this journey of getting really deep and asking to see the hidden things I've done wrong. I try every day to repent, but I'm finding, I haven't gone deep enough. I've glossed over some things saying, "Oh, that wasn't important."

I haven't waited for Holy Spirit to convict me. I've been sloppy and lazy.

,"Ok. I said I was sorry, let's get into the day!" That's not an attitude fitting the Lord's spouse. That's shallow and cheap. Besides, there's no true contrition there, or no recognition of sin. And sin is serious! I don't care what form it's in. It has consequences, and it opens doors to the demonic realm for all kinds of oppression.

It's the same as if you were cheating on Him. We come together in prayer, but something doesn't feel quite right. I feel a little disconnected from Him. I know that I've been drawn away by other lovers - the beautiful things I want. I don't want only Him, I want the world, too. It is the same as adultery in marriage. I have chosen another behind His back. But am pretending to be only His.

And here is the most hurtful thing He has ever said to me, and He gave it to me in the communion reading yesterday, "You honor Me with your lips, but your heart is far from Me."

Oh, I was so downcast after hearing that, I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to find a hole, crawl in it and disappear. But He began this message and I'm feeling a little better. But I really, really don't want my heart to be far from Him. I want it to be His alone.

Pray for me.

At this point, the Lord began to speak again.

"My daughter, My Bride, I have forgiven you. I know you are very weak. I know you struggle with pride, and I have allowed the enemy to sift you to humble you, Clare. There is nothing in Heaven more noxious than pride, that is why I allowed this.

"But now you are seeing your lowly estate. You are seeing that you are truly nothing. You are seeing that your passions can easily overrun you. Truly, Clare, you are pitiable. Truly I love you all the more.

"Come now, My precious Bride, shake off the dust of this world and come back into My tender embrace - much more diminutive, much more humbled. Little, little, little. And again I admonish you, Clare, stay little.

"Truly, without My intervention, you would be lying in a sewer, but My love for you has caused Me to lift you up and out and cleanse you to be My vessel unto honor and to speak My very own words to a thirsty people twisted and confused by religious spirits.

"In this world you will struggle with your flesh and the world, but take courage. I have overcome them both for you, and if you are faithful to remember your true stature before the Heavenly Court, I will always deliver you.

"Go in peace, now, My tender Bride. Go in Peace. You are forgiven."