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October 19, 2014

Tonight, He wants to address the issue of husbands and wives. This is an important issue, because our failure or success of marriage and in the spiritual life depends on understanding God's spiritual order of things. I have to say I've been a very rebellious female; I've not honored my husband or men in general in my life. I've always looked at men as equals.

In a sense I don't see anything wrong with that. Paul said, "There's neither male nor female except God has established the male for the covering of the wife in marriage (Galatians 3:28)." This is a prophetic message and these are the Lord's words. At the end of the message I will talk about the ways I've dishonored my husband.

The Lord's words began, "Clare, I want you to address this area of covering and discernment in marriage. I'm serious about this. I know you are reticent, but I need you to trust Me."

At that point I went to The Bible Promise Book to make sure I was in the spirit and not in my flesh. I opened to the Holy Spirit. Some of you may laugh that I use that method of discernment, but it works for me. Our lives are very unusual in the sense that they have come into fruition that wouldn't have come into fruition if we hadn't paid close attention to what the Lord wanted to do and to be obedient to that. My method in using The Bible Promise Book and Scriptures and other forms of discernment are what has brought us to the fulfillment of our lives and our missions.

The Lord continues, "Many women are a head of their husbands. That's the nature of the world and things, but many don't see what are behind. What I mean by that is, they don't see Me in their husbands. How can you nourish what you don't see? They're looking for some story-book, spiritual giant when I inhabit the lowly and the hidden. Men are easily intimidated by their wives. They don't always let on to that effect, but they are. I guarantee that.

"Intimidation forces a man to withdraw and relinquish ground he suspects he should be taking. A man's duties in the world keep him preoccupied with providing for his family. When he comes home, he is tired and the last thing he wants to do is press into time with Me. He sees his wife taking the lead, partially because she has the time to study and pray. He knows he can't compete and he steps back to do what is easiest with him. I'm more concerned about him, because this pattern of relinquishment is detrimental with his relationship with Me and with his wife. She grows; he stagnates. Unless he is a very unusual man with a strong desire for Me. At this point, I must tell these ladies - recovering a lost man is an art form. It's a delicate job that requires much introspection of a wife and much submission and much, much work."

Clare replied, "You mean measuring, your words and ultimately your attitudes?"

He replied, "That's correct. The words are merely superficial manifestations of a heart attitude. My counsel to all women who find themselves in this place: see Me in your husband and cultivate Me, so I can dominate Him. So it's safe for Me to come out and take the lead. You know what you've gone through and you can share some of that."

Clare interjects, "I did do that in another video with my husband."

"So, Lord, you mean my struggles with having things done my way?"

Jesus answers, "Yes, and in other things, secret criticisms. Little foxes that nip at the man's ego. Things you may not say out loud, but he perceives it in your attitude toward him. I know you are still struggling with this and I am helping you, but because it is fresh in your mind, you do have something solid to share with them. Keep reminding them that demons are at work 24/7 to undermine a man's honor in the home and in the world for that matter.

"That is why men are so prone to adultery. A woman comes along at work and makes him feel 10 feet tall. He comes home and his wife makes a remark about him leaving his shoes in the middle of the floor. It's not just that one remark; it's 15-20 years worth of remarks that make an 'I am bad' button in his heart. Touch it lightly and all the other remarks kick in, too, and he feels badly about himself. You're lucky - you have married a sensitive man, so you can see this dynamic right out in the open. Most men cover it up with an ugly remark right back or just withdraw into their TV program, sports, or shops. You ask why are the demons so committed to dishonoring a man? Because man is the covering.

"This is the correct order. When they don't rise to the occasion, the demons can sift a woman, lead her astray, get into her prayer times, and get into her false words. Leading them on a wild goose chase and eventually convincing them that they need a more spiritual man. The children see all of this and this disrespectful behavior is replicated in them. So, it's a belittling cycle of men that continues on into the next generation. The man has a very sensitive understanding of order. Very often I work through him to recognize something is off but because he doesn't want to face the wrath of Kahn or any other threatening behavior, he finds it more convenient to let it slide. And slide it does: down, down, and further down yet.

"This is where their lives are run with her spiritual insights with no governor except perhaps other female friends who are living the same way. That's no help to her, either. It's the blind leading the blind. I put that man in that position to bring up the hard things and confront the things that are suspect, but because they don't want to deal with their wives' reactions - be it tears or deprecations - they let it slide until they are useless in covering their wives and protecting them. This teaching is not for all, only the ones who are willing to humble themselves to have a good marriage.

"I'm telling you ladies, I'll use your husbands in ways I'll never be able to use you. That's why you were married; not just to have children and a stable home, but to have a holy, productive life lived in truth and not deception and to produce holy offspring. With Adam and Eve you can see this at work. Adam knew it was wrong to eat from the tree but he was comfortable, complacent and didn't want to make a big issue with Eve and he partook as well. You men are not as strong as you appear to be; brawn and strong are not synonymous. Strong means thinking ahead and making good, strong decisions. Even when they go against what your wife wants. Strong means, 'Okay, Lord, I'm willing to endure the strife and pain that will ensue from opposing my wife - what she really wants, what she demands, etc. I'll stand for what I believe and that you are leading me, no matter what the cost.

"That is a strong man. That doesn't mean beating or abusing her. No, that's for sissies - not for a real man. Love your wife as you love your very own self, because how well your life goes depends on how well you treat your wife. I didn't put you together to be harsh and mean to her. If you're doing that, you can expect the world to pay you with the very same treatment. I put you together to love one another and to do what's right. So, by your patience and endurance you will win her over.

"By the way, ladies, a man does not have to be spiritual by your definitions to hear My ways and My will for your family. I plant it deep inside of him. Yes, it is wonderful when he seeks it out in Scripture but that's not the determining factor of whether he is spirit led. In many cases he will have a deep down feeling and a conviction about something, because I, in him, gave it to him - even without the trappings of Bible studies, Wednesday night services, or even Sunday services. I dwell in him and what's missing in your marriages is that you are not honoring Me in your husbands.

"See, a man will step aside when a woman outdoes him in a gift. So many men have done exactly that and have given up the helm to the one that seems to have all the answers.

"So, I'm making a formal appeal to all who hear these words. Honor Me in your husband, no matter what his spiritual condition. If you will do this, I will do my part and cause him to begin to stand tall. It will take time and it won't happen overnight, but you will see different layers of responsibilities rise up in him; spiritual responsibilities. Build him up and show him My love, not yours. My love reaches way beyond shoes in the middle of the floor or towels that are crumpled up by the shower. Humble yourselves and take a long look. Make a mental list of all the ways you show preference to your own opinion, your own agenda, and your own ways. Watch yourself in the days to come.

"Carry your cross. You are partly responsible for his passiveness toward Me, so don't deny yourself; pick up your cross and follow Me in what will prove to be a wonderful marriage. The marriage you should have had and always wanted. I can do this if you will cooperate. These instructions are for those of you who know you married the right man. If I didn't bring you together with this man, you can still grow in humility and I will remove him in My time. Until then you'll become more holy, deeper with Me and I will be a husband unto you. You will not lack from authentic companionship. Remember, Pride is the root of this evil and it cannot enter into Heaven.

So, My blessed onesm do not fear humiliation and lowliness. It is only your pride that will suffer and that, for you, a bonus."

What I want to do now is share with you some of the ways I've dishonored my husband and you can measure them against your own ways. There are plenty more examples, it's just that these are the ones that came to mind.

For instance, he wants to go for a walk with you in the park and you are busy with your work, your spiritual things, or other things so you can have time for your spiritual things later and you turn him down. I've done this and that's wrong; that's not honoring him. Another example is in making a decision to go to dinner. I've insisted on my own way in the past. What movie should we see? I've made my case strong instead of seeking what he wanted and yielding to him.

More examples: honoring the way things are arranged in his private space, his office, his shop, or bathroom space; not moving things or leaving a mess or cleaning to the point where things are out of place. I've done that to him. Ignoring him when he wants you to take time out for him. If you are so wrapped up in your own doings and plans, you may feel like putting them aside is too hard and you end up putting him off or sending him out alone. I've done that.

I made him wear clothes he wasn't comfortable with. I've insisted he look a certain way when we went out rather than giving him a gentle nudge, "Honey, I want to wear something special for you tonight." Or "I really loved that green shirt you wore the other day." That's different than making him feel ugly or intimidated. Another thing you can do is getting things he likes to eat when you go shopping.

I can just hear it now... some of you are saying, "Oh, I'm way ahead of you, Clare, we do all those things." And to you I say, "Bravo."

But find other ways beyond your norm to honor him. For instance, really seek out his opinion on something and follow it. Make him feel, day after day, that his preferences are really important to you. Compliment him frequently and sincerely on his appearance or wisdom. Find all the times he put his shoes away or hung his towel to dry. Let him know you appreciate it. Address him, "Honey would you please...?" And when he does it say, "Thank you. You are so thoughtful." Notice the little things you take for granted that show he cares and compliment him for that.

Ask the Lord to give you greater love and respect for him and to show you where you are prideful or insistent; areas where you need to learn to yield. I promise you, the Lord will do it faithfully. There will be turning points in your relationship and he will come to you and ask, "Why are you being so nice to me?" Ask the Lord to put it in your heart so you can be honest and say, "Honey, I've taken you for granted and am tired of doing things my way. I've been selfish and I want you to have a greater say that we do and plan together. I know God has put true wisdom in you. I need your wisdom and your input, and I need your covering."

If you've really blown it lately over something, use that as a confession of your poor judgment and how you really need his help.

I really believe, that as you reach out to him and show your weakness, he'll rise to the occasion and be strong for you. It may take time and it may take repetitive situations, but sooner or later if he loves you, I believe he'll rise to the occasion.

I'll tell you just how serious the Lord was with me. Just before he released me into public ministry on Youtube, my computer all of a sudden went down and black, nothing. It wouldn't work, boot up or anything. I finally gave up in tears thinking, "Oh my gosh, this is the end of my ministry." There was no way I could afford to have this fixed. No way at all. It was all the teachings, the songs, the artwork, filming I planned on using, gone. I had no tools to carry out the ministry He's been training me for and He's called me to do.

This is what He said to me, "Your ministry for Me is absolutely useless without you honoring Me and your husband. Honor your husband as you honor Me, or I can't use you, Clare". That is the stark truth, guys, and that's what He said to me. I was just crestfallen. My whole world just fell apart, because frankly He's been training me for this mission for 33 years. I knew this was coming later on in my life. Here I'm in this place now and He has given me so many rich things to share with others and now He is telling me that none of that training and experiences have any meaning to Him, as long as I'm not honoring my husband; really honoring him. Ouch!

For days I was completely petrified with sorrow, self-pity more than Godly sorrow, until He began to show me how controlling I was. I became horrified at who I had become. He told me that many times He wanted to lead me through my husband, but He couldn't, because I didn't honor him. For instance, the dishes...My husband wanted me to retire some of the mugs, plates, and silverware so I wasn't always so backed up on dishes. This takes a real toll on me at night with fibromyalgia over the sink for an hour. It wipes me out before I go to work. For several years he has been asking me to do this and for several years I withstood him. Then I realized what I was doing.

After several years, I retired two-thirds of our silverware and dishes and lo and behold the dishes are a 20 minute job instead of an hour and a half. It's made a huge difference! And the Lord was wanting to do this with me all this time, but because the kitchen was my domain and I thought I knew what was best, He couldn't do a thing with me. The Lord tried to use my husband, but in my pride I wouldn't listen.

Moving on to the computer, after three days of darkness (no pun intended) I thought maybe now, since I've really repented, maybe the Lord will have mercy on me. I walked over and lifted the lid of my computer and all of a sudden it started working perfectly again. That was several months ago now. I haven't had any problems with it since. It was obvious that it was an act of God. That's exactly how serious the Lord is about me honoring my husband. All my gifts are useless to Him without honoring my husband.

You ladies may not be in this place at all. But if you even suspect an inkling of this attitude in your lives, perhaps you would like to pray this prayer with me:

"Lord, I beg of You, change us and show us how we are stifling our husbands and overshadowing them, and causing them to go back into the shadows. Give us the grace to conquer our pride with your humility. Expose our crooked ways and make them straight. Please, Lord, give us courage and raise up our husbands into the calling you have for them and help us to truly be their help-mates as they awaken to Your call. Help us to truly love, honor, and respect them as we love, honor, and respect You. Lord I believe you will answer this prayer, because I know it is Your will for us. Amen."