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February 12, 2017

May the sweet presence of Jesus draw you deeply into His heart, Heartdwellers.

After about ten minutes in dwelling prayer I saw my sweet Jesus. He was crying, so happy to see me and have me cleave to Him. I hugged Him for all I was worth and He rocked me back and forth in His arms.

This morning, as I began to feel His presence, my heart began singing to Him. I was going to listen to Julie True for worship, and He said, "Why would you want to listen when you can sing to Me?"

And as I pondered that and began with the first two lines of the stanza, all of a sudden, new lyrics came clearly into my mind and the entire song came together effortlessly.

And just as a little background in this, I had originally written the song in F, but then I couldn't hit the low note at the very end. So, I experimented. Tried a B. I liked that, but that was impossible, after 4 hours of trying to put chords to. So, then I settled for a C because I could hit the last note. I wrote the lyrics and notes out in a C. Then I began singing the song kind of naturally and effortlessly and it sounded right. And I thought, 'Oh, I hope this is in a C!' Nope - it was in a G. Wow...more work on the note placement and then the chords.

So in the end, in the space of three days, I went through three different note and chord progressions writing everything out meticulously. So, if you wonder where I've been, I've been working really hard on music, really applying myself. This first song is going to be wonderful. But it's proven to be a challenge. My coordination on the piano - I've had to have a lot of prayer for. So, we're working on it. And I think things will be more and more effortless as time goes by and I get a little practice under my belt.

So, I was wiped out. And this morning, after getting the right note and chords, I was coming out of a frustrating three days...each one with the same song in different keys.

But it was sweet this morning. I felt peace and settled like "I'll be happy with this arrangement." Yet I wondered if I should be praying first - but I didn't want to lose the lyrics that were coming so clearly and effortlessly.

You know, if there is a way to make you feel guilty, the enemy will surely find it! So, in all honesty, I was ducking my head a little when I came into prayer, because I thought I might be in trouble for writing the song instead of staying in worship. Really - you need both! Yet the Spirit was so sweet as the lyrics came, I just couldn't resist. I felt so connected and passionate from my heart as the words came. And all I wanted to do was sing over Him.

Well, we have our fragmented days, too. And today was one of them. Three different people coming and going and needing supervision and I pulled away so very painfully from this beautiful work to help them get settled. My chance to be with Jesus in this sublime and sweet way didn't come until everyone had gone home and I had rested for an hour.

As I sat with Him He began to speak:

"I want your worship and music to be seamlessly united to Me. The two are one, Clare, and what begins in worship should move seamlessly to the keyboard. You did not do the wrong thing this morning; you did what I wanted you to do and what I asked you to do. Music first. But from a place of worship - this is the secret. We as two become united as one, and will do this together.

"You are beautiful, My Dove. How I miss those trusting eyes. When you look at Me, most of the time it is with fear. Oh, how that hurts Me. Why are you afraid?"

Because Lord, You are holy and I am just a sinful woman.

He continued, "What you say is true, but you are under construction and I want you to come to Me as the construction manager on the job. You've done your best. I've watched you all day handle one complicated situation after another and although you feel you've done badly, we both know you've done your best, and all that was in your capability to satisfy the needs of everyone.

"And you've denied yourself. I saw you looking at that bracelet. How I love to bless you for your faithfulness."

It was a tiny heart bracelet with red enamel on silver. I just happened to pass by a window and see it - and I looked at it rather wistfully. Then I went in and told the sales person, "I need to check with the One who provides first."

She said, "Well, remind him that Valentine's Day is coming up!"

I said, "Oh no, not my husband - but the One in Heaven who provides for us."

She and the other sales woman laughed as if they understood and remarked that He is our provider.

Then when I came home, the Lord quickened to me that He wanted to give me the bracelet as a gift. So I went to Ezekiel and he confirmed it.

Now the story behind this, is that I wanted is a simple, inexpensive bracelet to remind me of HIM, with a medal of the Shroud of Turin on it. Something I'll see when I'm playing the piano or writing lyrics. I have the medal, but I needed a bracelet that said something special. And the one that I saw in the store was too expensive.

So, "we" went Google shopping and found just the perfect ring, and a delicate bracelet with 12 deep red stones in the shape of hearts linked together. I thought of the twelve apostles and was overjoyed when the Lord picked it out with me.

What a beautiful gift, Lord!

"Do you like it?" He asked sincerely.

Oh, yes - I think it will be perfect. It's not flashy but tender and diminutive. I am very touched, Lord. I want to cry. Thank you.

Well...on to the next adventure...

Lord, You alone know what I'm feeling now. I am grateful, but so frustrated.

He answered me, "Patience. This, too, will pass."

Well, before all this came up earlier in the day, I'd lost my patience and complained when I should be rejoicing.

Please forgive me Lord. I am so sorry.

Someone I had been praying for got a healing and now they were pestering me to the point where I couldn't get a thing done. Oh, I was so frustrated! But the foolishness of that, they were healed and happy and I was irritated!

Oh, Lord - how do you tolerate me?

"You have a very real enemy, My Beloved. You are My Beloved. And I adore you. I was crying because I missed you and you came running into My arms as soon as you had the opportunity. Do you know how grateful I am to you for this sweet attention?

"And when you hold the communion host and kiss it gently as if it were My cheek, do you know what that does to Me? I melt. I long to take you to Myself in Heaven be with you forever and ever. It is a bittersweet moment for Me as I know it is for you."

And that's for sure! That and looking at the portrait. That really knocks me over sometimes. I really look at it sparingly.

The Lord continued, "Oh children, children, I long for your love and attention. I know your days can be so fragmented with distractions. But after you recover yourselves, don't run from Me, run to Me! When you run to Me, My heart cries out, 'Here she comes, My Bride finally broke free and she's running to be in My embrace again, because she longs for Me as I long for her.'

"That's what I say, truly. Then I melt. If you are turned away by an earthly care...I am crushed. Don't let the enemy pull you away from Me.

"That's why I grasped you so tightly and cried, because you did make it despite the enemy's attempts to steal you from Me again. This is how I feel about you. I am overjoyed when you come to Me.

"Understand that on another level... Look at it this way. I am the construction boss, you are one of My employees. You are in charge of building part of a very tall skyscraper. It looks messy because it is messy. Materials are being used, trimmed back, plastered, nailed, welded. Oh, so much is going on at the site. Trucks come and go dropping loads of gravel for cement, bringing in steel beams and cables. Heavy equipment is moving and erecting scaffolding. Piles of metal wires and all kinds of materials that are left over from the day's work leave the yard looking dirty and disorganized, but another floor has been added to the building and it is going up.

"It looks pretty ragged because it's under construction. You have done your best as the crew boss, you've finished another level, but it was messy and leaves you feeling as if you didn't please Me, when in fact you did, Clare.

"The enemy never rests. He is continually looking for ways to steal your peace, and his favorite is perfectionism, judgement and condemnation. While I am standing by smiling at the work you completed, though it is still messy.

"In the twinkling of an eye, I will finish the job, clean up the mess and leave it spotless. In the meantime, each level is being completed and the building is rising higher and higher.

"I am not a mean-spirited task master! I am the lover of your soul, ever so happy to see you about your work for Me with a heart of love.

"When the days go badly and are fragmented, I understand. I see the forces opposing you. I watch you wade through them with as much love and patience as you can muster, and I am pleased with you that you persevere no matter how messy it looks - you are still committed to seeing it through.

"But you cannot have a heart of love if you are continually looking over your shoulder at Me, fearing that I am displeased with you. That displeasure will carry over into how you deal with others. That is why you need dwelling prayer. You need to experience My joy and satisfaction with you. You need to bond and soak up the love I feel for you. Then you will be encouraged and strengthened to begin again tomorrow, overflowing with love for your brothers and sisters.

"So, I am asking you My Brides - come to Me, knowing that whatever you've done or failed to do during the day, I love you. And I appreciate your every effort, more than you will ever understand. That's why I want you to sit before Me in the portrait. It conveys that love and appreciation and gets your heart and mind going in the right direction until you are open and connected to Me in your spiritual vision and emotions.

"You see, I am terribly misunderstood and taken as a harsh and cruel Person. 'You must do this, you must do that, your job was not done perfectly!' - brow down and finger pointed. No No! Rather I am tender. Tender-hearted and the lover of your soul, longing to show you My gratitude for your perseverance, mistakes and all.

"So, keep this vision in your heart and mind, Clare. I am waiting for you to break free from all earthly entanglements and come to Me. Come to Me with joy and expectation that I will embrace and approve you.

"Then if there is a little matter to discuss, we will discuss it and move on. But please do not look over your shoulder fearfully. Rather, look longingly - telling the lover of your soul, 'I'm coming Lord, I'm coming! I'll break away from this soon.' And send Me a kiss of promise that soon we will be enjoying sweet fellowship together."