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May 9, 2017

Lord Jesus, thank you for being My best friend and defense against the enemy. Please give us all the grace to surrender to You. Amen.

Well, my dear ones...there is always another lesson to learn on this way of purification. On the way up the mountain.

I like this expression very much, "If you die, before you die, you will not die when you die." That comes from an Orthodox monastery. Just how much of you still needs to die? Well, the Lord is faithful to show you.

The Catholics believe in Purgatory, a place where all your attachments to the world and self are burned away before you enter into Heaven. But I believe that we must die to ourselves down here to reach our full potential.

So, here I am dying, again.


In concern for my husband's health and a few physical issues I have, I had sought the Lord about getting a few aroma therapy items that would definitely be a benefit to us both. Now, deep down inside, I had a check and concern, but I thought if I use the Bible Promises I can find out for sure if the Lord approves.

Well, we were getting Joy and Help in Troubles a LOT during this period. So, when we got positive readings, (we both sought the Lord for understanding.) And when we got positive readings frm the Bible Promises, I went ahead and got what we needed.

Well, conviction grabbed hold of me when these essential oils arrived in the mail. I kept hearing a voice I didn't want to acknowledge was the Lord...

"Do I not alleviate suffering when you pray? Why do you need these? Don't I give you the relief you are seeking?"

Well, I thought about that and it really began to bother me that I was turning to man rather than God. So, I thought, 'Well, I'll bless these oils and they will work better!'

Do you see how manipulative my thinking is?? I'm telling you, if there is a way around something so I can have my way, my will, I'll find it. But the conviction did not go away, it got stronger and stronger and I began to be under a cloud of conviction. So, I had to back up.

By this time, I was very attached to the essential oils and the diffuser, to help my breathing, and it became very painful when I realized I had to give these up; it wasn't God's will! I interpreted the readings to suit my own will when we sought the Lord.

And my panther brought me down again. Oh, how I am begging the Lord to get rid of this self-will!

The readings I got, the Rhemas on the internet, were so strong that I had to renounce myself, because I had opened a door. Remember, I have shared with you that after a victory you are most liable to fall? Well, the Lord had warned me, after the victory with music, to be watchful. He warned me something was coming. And you know? I thought I was being watchful. In fact, I know I was being watchful - but I wasn't seeing what I needed to see.

So, the victory with music had happened the day before this temptation really began to grow on me. When I came into prayer about it, I saw a little devil below me and to my left. He was the archetypical creature: red, with horns, a barb on his tail, a pitchfork in his hands and an ugly expression. He was goading me on: "Oh these are good for you, you don't have to get involved in formulas, just use them to help your breathing and Ezekiel's fibro. You'll see, they really were a good idea."

So, I tried to reason with the Lord. 'Can't I just keep a couple of things that have been working really well for me?'

And a rhema He gave me was one of the Psalms:

Sing for joy to God our strength;

shout aloud to the God of Jacob!

Begin the music, strike the timbrel,

play the melodious harp and lyre.

Sound the ram's horn at the New Moon,

and when the moon is full, on the day of our festival;

this is a decree for Israel,

an ordinance of the God of Jacob.

Well, I thought, 'Well, that's cool!' 'Cause the Psalm I pulled, as I started reading it, that it was a rhema Psalm. I thought, 'This is great! You know, get into the music again. Sigh... Well - He wants me to keep on making music, He is not censoring the oils.'

So, I kept reading, feeling relief and encouragement:

In your distress you called and I rescued you,

I answered you out of a thundercloud;

I tested you at the waters of Meribah.

Hear me, my people, and I will warn you--

if you would only listen to me, Israel!

You shall have no foreign god among you;

you shall not worship any god other than me.

I am the Lord your God,

who brought you up out of Egypt.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

But my people would not listen to me;

Israel would not submit to me.

So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts

to follow their own devices.

If my people would only listen to me,

if Israel would only follow my ways,

how quickly I would subdue their enemies

and turn my hand against their foes!

Those who hate the Lord would cringe before him,

and their punishment would last forever.

But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;

with honey from the rock I would satisfy you. Psalm 81

But the Lord told me what was really going on when He gave me this psalm in the rhemas. So, when I got this Psalm I realized that I was contending with the Lord! I was refusing to submit to Him. And then another rhema Psalm came up:

I hate double-minded people,

but I love your law.

Ouch! I definitely was being double-minded!

You are my refuge and my shield;

I have put my hope in your word.

Away from me, you evildoers,

that I may keep the commands of my God!

Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live;

do not let my hopes be dashed.

Uphold me, and I will be delivered;

I will always have regard for your decrees.

You reject all who stray from your decrees,

for their delusions come to nothing.


All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross;

therefore I love your statutes.

My flesh trembles in fear of you;


I stand in awe of your laws. Psalm 119 Samekh

Oh no!! More conviction and an admonition...a door had been opened for my enemies to sift me.

Then the Lord began to speak.

He began, "The enemy is just cruising for you, My Love."

And when He said that, I remembered seeing that little devil with a pitchfork harassing me, trying to and succeeding at stealing my peace.

Jesus continued, "You see, if you leave any room for them, they mercilessly persecute you. A little is not a little - it is an open door to a lot. Do you have that kind of self-control? I see what you don't see; I see an ambush laid for you. If you do not renounce yourself, how can you escape entanglements? Do I not honor your prayers for healing? What is more effective? Your prayers or the oils? Without My grace, they will do very little indeed."

So after that word, the next leg of my journey began: renunciation. And oh, how painful it was. I really wanted to keep these oils, but I reasoned to myself, 'You did alright before you started using them; you don't need them.'

But I WANTED them! And the little play-pretty that goes around my neck with eucalyptus oil in it, that clears my breathing.

So, Ezekiel and I discussed it. He reminded me of a quote from a holy Christian, "There are things I cannot do. Others are allowed this, but the Lord does not allow me. Even the innocent things; still He asks me to renounce them and rely totally on Him. Others can do them without incurring sin, but I can't."

At that point, I was trying to figure out, 'What am I going to do with these oils?' Then I realized I have a good friend who is a mother, a missionary and a loving, healing presence in the community here in Taos. She's a midwife here in Taos. And she has worked with aroma therapy and I knew she would love to have them. This way, they would be used in the community to bring some relief to the poor who have nothing. And knowing they are a gift from the Lord will draw souls more and more to the Lord.

And I realized, I do have the gift of healing in operation. The more I rely on the world, the weaker this gift will get until I lose it. Am I going to trust Him?

Well, I can't tell you what a distraction this has been and how hard I fought with myself. I had a message planned for you yesterday, but I couldn't get off the ground because of this. So it even cut into my time for you. It only goes to prove that my self-will is very entrenched and still very much alive. When I had my communion service, I begged the Lord with tears to please take this from me! Pull this up by the root. Pull it up and out - I don't want it anymore!

My dear friends, the enemy is slippery. He cruises for anyone he can to sift. He uses our limited understanding, our self-will, our attachments and our opinions to lead us astray. But the Lord stands beside us to warn us when we are beginning to drift. It always seems to be right after a victory.

So, I asked the Lord if He had anything to say.

And He said, "My dear Brides. I want what is best for you - always. Every day. Every moment. It is what I know will lead to your greatest happiness and holiness, that I guide you away from certain things. Please trust Me in this. I do know what's ahead. I know what traps have been stretched out beneath your feet and covered over with the guise of doing good for others.

"Trust Me, please. Trust Me, that if I don't allow you something, it is for a VERY good reason - and if you persist in wanting it, it will be to your detriment. Truly, the gift of healing is present and in operation in many of you. Should you therefore take two steps backward and seek help from the creation, when the Creator is working directly through you? Yes, I made plants for a medicine, even on Earth, but it is My grace working through creation that brings relief. My grace is greater than the physical reality of plant chemistry, and I can do with My grace things that mystify and defy science to explain.

"So, should you not seek My will and My grace alone?

"This teaching is not for all; it is a hard saying. But for you who consistently dwell in My Heart, and have seen consistent results in prayer, I wish for you to cleave to Me alone and stay away from the world. And this extends to whatever vice and attachment you may have, be it things of the Earth or relationships. Or knowledge. I know what is best for you. Learn to renounce yourself in all things and trust Me without question.

"I see your destinies clearly and I also see the devil's plans to derail you along the way. But I will warn you through your conscience if you will but listen VERY CAREFULLY. I will tell you the plans of the wicked and how to defeat them, if you cleave to Me with all your hearts. And no matter what they plan to entrap you, I will steer you around those dangerous shoals and places where you will run aground in your life; places where great damage and delay will occur - even ship-wrecked and sinking into the mire.

"Trust Me in this. Circumcise your hearts and head towards the goals I have set for your life without deviation, without curiosity, without the need to know more or to try this or to try that. You don't see it but your curiosity is used to entangle you. Your goodwill is used to take you off course from the greater good I have ordained in your lives.

"Be very leery of any direction that takes you off that course. You can be sure the enemy has discovered your destination and he will do anything to cause you to deviate only a degree or so in this journey of life. And you will completely miss your target and even pass it because your navigation is off only one degree!

"How do you know you are digressing? That still small voice inside is nudging and nagging you. Every time you move to make a commitment in the wrong direction, I set off alarms in your conscience. But if you are very attached to that, you will reason with those alarms:

'But this will help. I want to do good to others. They need this, I need this. But, but, but...'

"When you hear this kind of conversation going on with the interior man, you can be sure you are trying to justify something I do not want you to have. ALARM...BIG ALARM...repent, turn around and return to the simple path I have already laid out for you."

And the Scripture came to mind: Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. Proverbs 28:26

God Bless you, Heartdwellers. Thank you for your prayers - they are so appreciated!

And thank you for your sweet and kind letters. I'm hoping to have one of these Youtubes to devote to these letters - they are so beautiful! And thank you for taking such good care of our mission, so that we can work for you every day, without any kind of pressures over our head. The Lord bless you all.