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August 1, 2017

Precious Jesus, please grant us the perseverance to bring us into a deep relationship with You and a full knowledge of our destinies. Amen

Dear Heartdwellers, I have been longing for the Lord with all my heart and this grace is helping me to cut more and more out of my life to make room for Him.

After communion I came to Jesus with an aching heart.

"My Lord and My God, I wish I could be with you forever. I long for You Jesus."

He replied, "I know, and it will not be long."

Oh Lord, how can I believe that? whoops... (I remembered He's dealing with me with Unbelief.)

"Yes, we are having issues with believing, aren't We?" He quipped.

Wrong words. Sorry, Lord.

"I don't make light of how you feel. I know well how you long for Me, as I long for you, too. It is difficult to trim down your schedule, isn't it?"

Very, Lord. Very difficult.

"Well, keep trying, you are getting closer. Be more vigilant in the mornings. That is, when you wake up."

(For me, that's not in the mornings.)

Yes, I can see there is slack there. And the enemy will try to side-track me. He did this morning.

Jesus answered, "That's correct. Be ahead of him, dearest...stay ahead of his schemes. I will whisper in your ear, but you must listen very carefully and you will avoid the pitfalls he has planned for you. If he can steal just one hour he is happy--as happy as pure corruption can possibly be. But seriously, be on the lookout for his morning strategies."

Thank you, Lord, I will. Do you have something for Your Bride?

"I surely do," He replied. "My beautiful one, My dove, how I watch you during the day to see how many times your eyes drift off towards Me. I listen to the tender moans in your heart over our separation--and I, too, am pining for you. I also watch your thoughts, your footsteps, your intentions and the ways in which you honor Me and are faithful to Me.

"This is a most painful separation for many of you right now. I know how painful it is, believe Me--because it is excruciating for Me at times. I know how much you fight off the temptations to despair over the length of time you must wait until I come for you. That is one reason I am blessing so many of you with new gifts, so you can be productively distracted to build up My Kingdom on this Earth before you are taken.

"All of you have creative gifts. There is not one soul created in My image that is not endowed with amazing powers of creativity. The main obstacle holding you back is not knowing what your gift is. I know I have said this far too many times to you, but it cannot be said enough. You must seek Me until you find Me and learn to listen VERY CAREFULLY to the little hints."

When He said that, I felt prompted to tell you how music came about in my life. My mother never had a musical gift that she cultivated. However, I found out later, that my father was an amazing artist and musician. It just wasn't in my mother's universe to take music seriously and I'm partially responsible for that. Because even though I had a few lessons with a cardboard keyboard, it never turned me on. In those days they didn't have electronic keyboards.

Well anyway, here I am 58 years old, never dreaming I could be a musician, but loving music nonetheless. My only experience was singing in the choir once in a while. And the small harp that I had, that was just used for meditation.

But we were asked to house-sit for some friends. They happened to have a keyboard and I was bored to death at their house, so I decided to play around on it. For some reason, my fingers flew across the keyboard and I was playing with amazing accuracy for someone who knew nothing.

This caught my husband's attention. He came from the other room to listen to me, eyes big as saucers and mouth wide open. I stopped because I became self-conscious.

He said, "Wow!" or an equivalent to that.

And I said, "Yeah. That felt good."

He replied, "Honey, God may be calling you to music.

We got out the Bible Promises and sure enough, through careful discernment we realized the readings "Joy", "Holy Spirit" and "Work" --and all kinds of other encouraging readings popping up, was giving us a confirmation that music was going to be a gift. I felt a deep stirring in my soul and a gentle wind of excitement.

Soon after, we were at a prayer meeting, and one of the people saw a golden harp fly down from Heaven and land in my lap. At the same time, I felt a fiery white ball of light come from Heaven and lodge in my heart. When we shared at the end of the meeting, we figured out it's about music.

It didn't take long--I just had to ask the Lord, "What is this about?"

And He answered, "Three thousand, five hundred dollars."

It might as well have been three million, five hundred thousand, because we were so poor at the time.

Giving me a money figure was unheard of, but I paid attention, nonetheless. Eventually, through all kinds of miracles and circumstances, we ended up with a $5,000.00 Roland work station keyboard for $3,500 dollars. The rest is history.

So, how did I know I was called to music??? I found out house-sitting for friends and it took off from there.

Jesus began again, "I love that story, Clare. All the more so because we in Heaven were looking in on the whole series of events that brought music into your life. We were so excited for you--and still are, by the way. Now, I know that is no substitute for Me, My Bride, but it does bring us closer and you are touching others for Me. And you do love to do that, so it is something that can sooth your aching heart until we are together again.

"I have said this many times as well: If you see someone with a skill, be it singing, playing, or any other endeavor...preaching, teaching... If you feel stirrings in your heart, 'Gee, I wish I could do that!' you may very well be called to that. In fact, if you are jealous of those gifts in others, I can tell you categorically it is because you are not working hard at your gift; otherwise you would be happy to hear others and not feel that jealousy.

"You must seek Me until you find Me. I respond to the desperately poor soul who cannot go any further without Me. My heart melts to see that kind of devotion and abandonment. How can I resist? When 99.9 percent of the souls on the planet have no inkling of Me. Therefore, how should I respond when I find one that cannot live any longer without Me?"

I don't think He was saying that exact number for the whole planet. I think He was giving an example.

"Do you see? You become irresistible to Me when your life is put on hold just to find Me, just to have Me."

Forgive me Lord, but I can't help but think of what it was like for me in the beginning. John Michael Talbot's music first introduced me to the Jesus that longs for His Bride. I had been a Christian for seven years and never had been taught what was sung in his songs. I began to long for Him with an unquenchable fire.

I went out to the desert with coral snakes and scorpions and kept vigils, crying out to Him, 'Please! Please come to me!' I did this over and over again, until finally one night, I felt Him sitting next to me to the right, and my heart just melted.

Over and over again, I sought Him with vigils and fastings...only eating a regular meal on Sunday. The rest of the week was bread and peanut butter and water. And of course--coffee... I had four small children to take care of, so I had to have some strength.

Jesus continued, "I remember that night as if it were yesterday. Do you know what was on My mind?"

No, Lord, I don't.

"I could see how desperately you were searching for Me and I knew the trials you would have to face to be conformed to Me. And it was so much more than you were ready to handle. But I had it planned in little portions to make it easier, and that night I knew I had to touch you, lest you become despondent.

"All of the elaborate lengths you went through were not necessary, My Love--as far as driving 60 miles south into a remote and wild desert at night and staying until the next morning. But I honored them anyway, because it was your effort, the best of your thinking that brought you to that place. I just couldn't let you down. In time, the religious trappings would fall away and you would have Me.

"Truly I am the author and perfecter of your faith, My Bride."

Oh Jesus, Your mercy, Your mercy makes me cry. I know I was so unworthy and had so much religious baggage; partly good influence, partly bad, a lot of self will (because I love the wilderness)--and still you visited me. And my soul was renewed by the gesture so I could go on. Even though the church I went to didn't believe in that spirituality of the desert mothers and fathers. Even though I was ridiculed for my devotion, and people thought I was mad, I couldn't stop. I had to keep seeking until I found You. Your Mercy is never-ending. I didn't deserve You Jesus. And now I don't deserve You, either.

He continued, "Though you are poor and sometimes misguided about what I require of you, you are irresistible in your poverty, Clare. The poverty of your soul and your recognition of your sorry state keeps Me coming back to nourish and raise you up according the stature of My Holy Ones in Heaven. You keep Me coming back, My dove, and I will continue to perfect you. It is written, I have said it and with all My heart I mean it."

At that point, I got teary-eyed.

And Jesus began again, "My Christian people, one and all, know that I long to hold you near to My Heart and have this precious relationship with you. And only one thing is missing--your neediness. Your neediness determines what you do with your day. Whether you go shopping or close yourself up alone to pray; whether you take on cooking projects, or search out My presence in solitude; whether you go to a Christian seminar for a weekend or take your heart into seclusion and repent with tears for your sins, longing for My forgiveness and fellowship.

"You have many choices to make during the day, My People, many, many choices. If you truly want this depth with Me you must cut away the less important activities in your life to make way for it. It's just that simple. The Word still stands:

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

"I am not trying to make this hard for you. Rather, I am answering the prayers of many on this channel who still want to know how to find Me in this kind of intimacy. You have asked, you have cried, you have called out to Me in the night, and now I have given you the answer:

"Do not stop until you have possessed Me.

"Your poverty of spirit, confession of your weakness, calls out to Me and I cannot resist it."