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November 3, 2017

Jesus, please give us the strength and wisdom to say 'no' to occasions of sin. Amen.

Well, I indulged myself and went back to a site where something I really wanted, but was not allowed to get, was located. It's a red glass heart bead that represented changes in my heart to me. Well, it was a steel trap. It came down on me like lightning. I was caught, injured, sidetracked, and so emotional and angry I couldn't do anything last night. Not write, play music, only a little correspondence. And it was a big mistake.

So, I ended up very much out of sorts with the Lord and feeling badly, that He wouldn't let me have such a little thing. But He had His reasons--but I wasn't thinking that way. I was thinking: I want something, and I can't have it--and I don't see why??

It ended up in me being at odds with the Lord, and I felt so badly. I said, 'Lord. I don't ever want to be at odds with You again. I hate it!'

Jesus replied, "Then you must listen more carefully and not give into one speck of self-will."

You're right. I indulged myself and went back to that site. And that steel trap came down on me like lightning. I was caught, injured, side-tracked and so emotional and angry! All I could do was complain.

Jesus replied, "Well, we are here now."

What would You like, Jesus?

"Repentance is always a good start," He answered.

I thought I did that.

"You could do it a little more... "

Lord, truly I am sorry for being spoiled and wanting my own way. Please forgive me and make me wiser and more willing to carry my cross and practice self-denial. Please help me.

And really, the repentance came today after I cooled down some more.

"You are forgiven," He answered. "But I want to warn all of you, Heartdwellers, avoid every occasion of sin. If you know something fascinates you and takes you off course of what is important to us, there is a likely-hood that a trap has been set for you. And if you indulge your curiosity, thinking you can stay clear of capture, you are mistaken.

"You see, the demons first tempt you because of your flesh. 'Oh, this really is something you would like, come look at it! Besides, more things will pop up around it.' In the meantime, they have you figured out from every angle there is and have laid a very clever noose on the ground for you to step into.

"So, you excuse yourself, 'Oh, there's no harm in looking.' And when you go there, they hit you with a very strong emotional attachment to something I have not allowed you to do or have. And you begin to resent Me for denying you an innocent pleasure.

"What was it you told me last night? 'Lord, I work so hard for you, it is a rare thing when I ask You for something special, because it reminds me of my mission and the love you've given Me for your people. Is it too much for me to ask for this kindness?'

"And all the time your resentment is brewing, 'Gee Lord, is it really too much to ask?' And now you've entered into bitterness. If you had stayed away from that temptation, you never would have been hurt, spending a lot of time crying. You never would have been wiped out at the end of the day before you even began the work on your keyboard. You never would have lost all motivation--except to find a hole and pout because I wasn't being fair.

"ALL of that could have been avoided if only you had nipped that temptation in the bud. But you've been attached to that for months, you never completely let go--and just one little visit to the page was enough to bring back very sad memories for you.

"How ignorant do you think the demons are, Clare? I can assure you they are not ignorant and they take note of every passing feeling and those things that could trip you up in the future. They calculate these things.

"And you, My Dove, played right into their hands."

I did.

"And you are still attached."

I am. But I am trying.

"I understand fully why you were attracted to that object. But there are things that will hurt you to give up. Yet for the time being, I ask you to let them go. You can use those tears as an offering, you know. The more deeply you feel, the better the offering. Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Me. It's just that simple.

"I understand your reasoning, and I'm just asking you to let it go for now. And please, do not let it drag you down into a pit again... please? Even though we've talked about it and it still hurts you, you must not allow yourself to entertain those feelings. There are other things far more important that you should be hurting about."

I'm sorry, Lord. There again, I need your grace. I have been praying for those who are truly hurting on the very edge of life and death, but I see I can offer this for their comfort.

"That's right. It seems like a foolish thing to you, but because it matters and it hurts, it carries more significance and that pain you feel can be offered for those who are really suffering. In the light of eternity, you will be very shocked at how much you valued things that were worthless."

Yes, I know You are right. And I'm trying to get a handle on that. I wish I could be there now.

"Well, we're headed that way...

"Children, children, the enemy is clever, much more than you give him credit for. This, too, will pass. Guard yourselves from occasions of sin. Do not go there if you know it has led you into sin in the past. Be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Your adversary is wise like a serpent and bites with a deadly venom.

"Call on Me in your hour of temptation and I will deliver you."