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November 29, 2017

Lord, Your mercy and kindness towards me is truly staggering. Thank you for saving me from myself. And please, put the prayer burden on us for our Nation. Amen

Well, my dear Heartdwellers, I don't know what's going on in your house--but I can tell you, we've been through the ringer over here.

I am wanting to share this with you, because I believe many of you are going through the same things. But I have to admit this is NOT behavior I am proud of.

I did it again! For the last few weeks, I've been noticing holes in my clothing and stains. And that they were just plain wearing out. So, I decided to get some replacements--3 pairs of pants, 2 tops and a sweater. After I had chosen these things and put them together, I got concerned that the Lord might not want this, and I sure didn't want to ask....

To be very honest, I had an inkling of that before I looked. But I figured, 'Well this is a necessity, surely He won't mind.' And now I know: this was the enemy luring me in. What a doofus I am! And I got a sucker punch.

So, when I DID ask Him, I got 'Self-Denial'--so I decided to take two other items that were on that list off of it, and I said to myself, 'Surely, this will meet with His approval.' And I went ahead and bought them...right?

So, then I started to reason with Him, still not feeling comfortable with my decision or having paid for them. I said, "Lord, I really do need to replace these clothes; they are a disgrace. And I took other things off of the list, 'cause I thought, 'Well, I can do without that.'"

He shot back at me in the Bible Promises with Hospitality and taking care of the poor and seeing that THEY had clothing.

So, I said, "Lord, we just spent all the discretionary cash we had to buy boots and coats for poor children!" And I tried to reason with Him! "But I just gave almost all we had for the poor and what I need isn't even 7% of what we gave to the poor?"

But you know God. He doesn't relent on things like this when he is breaking a wild horse. So, out of exasperation, I called and cancelled the order.

Then, I got angry. Very Angry!!

Dear Ones, I have not been this angry in 30 years! At that time, I was homeschooling three children, behind on marking their papers, working in the mission field and everyone kept dumping chores on me--so I blew up and started throwing things. For the first time in my life, that I can remember.

The kids had never seen me that angry and they all said, "Mom! What are you doing???" My answer was, "I've had it! You all need to get off your posteriors and be supportive and stop dumping and making demands on me!!! And I'm accenting it with anything within reach that won't break!!" Boy, that living room was a mess when I was done...

Well. Tonight, I didn't want this anger; I hated myself for it. So, I started playing a wonderful flute that was just given to me, to calm myself down--and decided to sit down. When I did this, the two-foot-long, heavy, bamboo flute hit the top of a table and bounced back--jamming into my gums and lips. It was just like a big combat boot had kicked me in the mouth.

I just started crying. "Lord, I deserve a kick in the face for treating You this way, I don't blame You at all." Because, I reasoned, He withdrew His covering for just a minute and wham!

Of course, I was bleeding and hurting and crying and ashamed of myself all at the same time--and still angry. In my fury, I came so close to breaking everything in this room with my beautiful flute. But I knew that would be terribly foolish and accomplish nothing but more guilt and shame.

When I finally settled down, I asked Jesus to forgive me for my atrocious behavior. That I was very, very sorry for getting angry. One thing that haunted me was that He hates it when He has to deny anyone a legitimate request, because they are being trained. And although it was not unreasonable for me to ask for the clothing, for someone in my position--it was necessary for Him to say 'no'.

But there are times when He actually loses souls over these issues. And that was really weighing on my heart.

When I was right at the height of combat with myself, He gave me this card from a shoebox full of rheas that I've been collecting for...oh, probably, 20 years. And it said, "These efforts of yours are pleasing to Me." You know, the efforts of me fighting against my own will. Then He said, you know, in the card, "You are a Delight to My Heart!"

I said, "WHAT!!!?? I'm acting like a scumbag and You're delighted with me??" Well, that's the Lord for you.

When I am in a mess like this, I usually get 3 cards to get my bearings. The next card I pulled said, "I have not ignored the suffering of the afflicted one, I have not hidden My face from you; I have listened to your cry for help."

The last rhema said, "Tomorrow is a new day. Apply yourself, Clare."

Well, the communion readings were about Judas and how he betrayed the Lord. I saw myself in that and was thankful I had cancelled that order. Finally, I felt peace after communion and He lifted almost all of my frustration and anger from me. Certainly, enough was gone that I got my senses back. Thank You, Lord.

So, at this point, I just asked Him, "Lord, have you anything to say for these precious people?"

Jesus began, "All of you must keep a very serious watch over your affections and desires and not be subjected to your flesh. These holidays are going to be turbulent for those who are not prepared. Get your houses in order, rededicate your priorities and stay in prayer.

"Do not allow the enemy any ground to sucker punch you and put you out of commission, as he did with Clare tonight. This was a direct hit against her ministry and had she not repented, it would have been very serious.

"Don't allow yourselves to be drawn off track by anything that might be against My desires for you. You are not under the same kind of scrutiny she is, but you know what in your life I do not care for you to do.

"So please, My precious ones, avoid all occasions of evil. Do not allow the enemy to lure you into a trap.

"And watch yourselves very carefully. There are assignments being sent out to disrupt the holidays and cause mass confusion. There are things going on in your government that are critical and require serious prayer, My People.

"There is a war going on for control of this country and I need all of you in your prayer closets, fasting and beseeching My Father for your nation.

"Your president is overturning the precedents for evil in this nation and he needs your prayers as you prayed for him to win the election. He is doing everything in his power to bring this nation back to its constitution, and Satan is doing everything in his power to cause it to fail.

"The enemy would like to see you feasting in self-indulgence right now; please don't do that. Stay trimmed down like a soldier of Christ, who does not get bogged down in civilian affairs. You will not be prepared if you give yourself slack. Stay in prayer, read the Scriptures, especially praying and opening to what My Spirit leads you to. Read between the lines, take your time and absorb what I am drawing your attention to. Meditate on that.

"Do not allow any national events to shake you loose from your foundation of prayer. And understand that certain things must take place to right this nation from its evil, upside-down condition.

"Your president is not draining a swamp; he is draining the Great Lakes. What he is doing will affect every state and shake the wicked foundations of this nation. He will make America great again, but not without your prayers. He needs you now more than ever. Do not be slack. Purpose in your hearts to deny yourselves, pick up your crosses and fight for your nation.

"Do it on your knees.

"I am counting on you to empower him in prayer and fasting. Do not compromise your health. Fast with wisdom--simple things like declining treat foods, serving others and not drawing any attention to what you are doing for Me, unless your family is united in prayer intentions. Do not cause animosity or friction in your families during holiday festivities, because they are not on the same page with you.

"Rather love, serve and keep your sacrifices private between you and I. I will bring them along My way. If you try to do it yourself, you will only push them further from Me.

"And please remember: this holiday is about My Birth. Even though the timing is not correct, it is the intention of focusing on thanking My Father for His sacrifice that should be highlighted. Do your best to inject that into any celebration, without causing family animosity.

"You will be seen in the future as a pillar of righteousness in your families; one who holds things together and has great wisdom, if you follow My directives. Do not allow anything to shake you from the firm resolve that evil is being overturned and it will be messy. The greatest gift you could have from Me is your nation back."

That was the end of the message, dear ones.

So, I want to thank those of you who have been so faithful in this season. We are still afloat, just barely, but I understand this is the time of year that family takes precedence over ministries.

We were able to get coats and boots for the very poor on the reservation and mesa--as well as firewood and stoves.

Please visit our website,, and check out the Outreach tab, as we are posting new things as we get pictures in.

God bless you for praying and caring about this ministry. We deeply love you.